DEAR ABBY: My family has suffered a great loss. My older sister died by suicide. My younger sister's best friend "Carrie" drove four hours from Michigan to be with our family. From the day after we found out and for almost a week, Carrie was by our side, comforting us, helping with arrangements and anything else that needed to be done. She even worked all night with our old family videos to digitize, edit and set them to music so it would be done in time for the wake.

Now, as we are beginning to write thank-you notes to all of those who were there for us, my family is wondering how we can express our gratitude to her for her support during this awful time. We would like to do or give her something special because we truly consider her to be a part of our family, but we don't know what. -- APPRECIATIVE IN THE EAST

DEAR APPRECIATIVE: The head of the family or your younger sister should write Carrie a letter telling her how much her kindness is appreciated and telling her she is now truly a member of the family. I'm sure it would mean the world to her. In addition, consider giving her something that belonged to your older sister, such as a piece of jewelry. Your younger sister should be the person to select it. A keepsake would, I am sure, be deeply appreciated and treasured.

DEAR ABBY: At age 17, my pregnant and unwed mother married a schoolmate of my biological father. I was given the schoolmate's last name. Several years later, my mother divorced her first husband and married my biological father. They discussed changing my last name to that of my bio father, but never did. I recently had DNA testing that proved this information to be accurate.

My last name is still not the name of my biological father, and I recently learned that the man named on my birth certificate was a rapist, an alcoholic and a bully. This is very upsetting, and I would like to legally change my name to match my actual father's. The problem is I'm now 70, married with wonderful kids and grandkids who are proud of our name. I don't want the fake daddy's name on my tombstone. Any advice for this distressed guy? -- DISTRESSED SENIOR MAN

DEAR DISTRESSED: Talk to your family about why you want the name change. Perhaps when they hear that the person whose name was thrust upon you was a rapist and substance abusing bully who mistreated your mother, they will be more understanding and less willing to cling to the name they are so "proud" of. If not, then suit yourself. I wish you luck.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I have been living together for 10 years, although he is still legally married. When we met, he and his wife had been separated for five years. Neither one had the money to get divorced. My question is, if anything should happen to my boyfriend, would she have claim to any of his assets? (He doesn't have much beyond his vehicle.) -- JUST WONDERING IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR JUST WONDERING: Yes, as his surviving spouse, she will be entitled to whatever assets he leaves behind, which includes the vehicle.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married a little over a year. My wife took a trip to Florida to get some things out of storage, and turned it into a two-week vacation. She's now traveling back with the in-laws, which I wasn't expecting.

Yesterday she announced she doesn't want to talk to anyone, including me, and will only text for the next three days during the trip because she's too tired. I feel rejected and like yesterday's news because she hardly calls me and she almost forgot to say goodnight. I don't think this is healthy for our relationship, and I have separation anxiety to boot. Is this normal? -- NEWLYWED GUY IN IOWA

DEAR GUY: Something is going on with your wife, and unless she is usually this uncommunicative, her unwillingness to talk with you is not normal. Do not pressure her or make her feel guilty in order to alleviate your separation anxiety. Give her the time she said she needs to decompress and get her thoughts together. When she and her parents arrive, you will have plenty of time to clear the air.

DEAR ABBY: I am disabled and live about 2,000 miles from my best friend. For months now she has spoken about her plans to have a vow renewal ceremony on her 10th wedding anniversary. Although I am on a fixed income, I have been saving every dime so I can attend.

As it turns out, I'm not invited. She's requested online that everyone who has received their invitation and hasn't sent their R.S.V.P. should, so she'll know how many people to tell the caterer to prepare for. My invitation didn't get lost in the mail or in cyberspace. I was just not invited.

I am extremely hurt by this because she has always claimed that I am her best friend. How should I handle this? -- UNINVITED IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR UNINVITED: You have a right to feel hurt. "Best" friends don't treat each other this way. Handle it by asking her why you were left off the guest list. She may not have invited you because she knows you are on a fixed income and assumed you couldn't attend. However, if that's not the reason for the omission, then you may not have had as close a relationship as you assumed.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I were invited by an older friend to lunch on his patio, while observing the social distancing rules. Before we left his home, we thanked him profusely as we greatly appreciated the visit, especially given our lack of social interaction during the pandemic.

When we arrived home, I wrote a thank-you note and put it in the mail. However, I'm wondering if I should also have sent an immediate text or e-mail message to our friend. Are there new rules that cover immediate electronic communication vs. old-fashioned thank-you notes? -- WONDERING IN ALABAMA

DEAR WONDERING: Many people use immediate electronic communication as a way to avoid the "hassle" and expense of penning a handwritten thank-you note. However, making the time and effort to show your appreciation the traditional way rather than doing both wasn't a faux pas, so stop worrying.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend of four years recently admitted that he cheated on me six months ago. I was blindsided. Until the day he told me, I thought we shared everything. The hollowness and betrayal I feel is sometimes overwhelming.

He explained that at the time, he was dealing with substance issues and depression, which I was also unaware of. Both have worsened in recent months. How could I have been so blind?

To complicate things further, I have a 6-year-old son who has grown to love this man as a father because my ex-husband walked out on us when he was born. He has been an amazing role model for my son, and overall, a wonderful partner -- or so I thought.

He says he's heartbroken over the pain he's caused me. He recently started receiving treatment for his depression through medication and therapy, and he has begged me to go to couples therapy to rebuild the trust that's been lost.

I was taught to believe that cheating is the end of a relationship, no ifs, ands or buts. I don't want to end the relationship, but I'm struggling with the decision because of what I was taught, especially when I confide in friends and they tell me to dump him.

I wish I knew what to do. I need an objective opinion. Can a relationship survive such a betrayal? Can we be happy again? -- HOLLOW IN NEW YORK

DEAR HOLLOW: The answers to your questions are yes and yes -- especially if both partners are fully committed and prepared to get couples therapy from a licensed professional. If you love this man and want to give this relationship a chance, quit confiding in your friends and start talking with the therapist. Your boyfriend is remorseful, he is also in treatment, and he is trying his best to get better and work things out. Please give him the opportunity to do that because, if you do, your story may have a happy ending.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 26-year-old single woman living alone during quarantine. I have no family who live in-state.

Admittedly, I've struggled with loneliness during quarantine, and my family knows this. For weeks, I have been fending off my dad's attempts to fly cross-country and visit. I don't think it's safe and have told him no.

Today, he told me that he is making plane reservations, it doesn't matter what I say or want. I know this comes from a place of love, but he is completely disregarding my feelings, especially since I have been extremely careful in quarantine and he hasn't been. Is there a way I can keep this visit from happening? -- HOME ALONE IN RHODE ISLAND

DEAR HOME ALONE: Yes, there is. Tell your father plainly you are afraid of being exposed to the virus because he hasn't been as careful about exposure as you have been. If he still insists, tell him he must bring with him proof that he has tested negative, and even then you won't see him unless you are both masked, gloved and practicing social distancing. He should also not plan on staying with you.

If that doesn't discourage him, when he arrives, see him outside and remain 6 feet apart in case he has been exposed at the airport or on the plane.