DEAR ABBY: I have a dilemma. My 33-year-old boyfriend keeps badgering me to see each other. We live 15 miles apart.
I'm a 60-year-old man in pretty good health. Before this pandemic, I worked out every day at a gym, and I still do at home now. Every day he keeps asking me to either come visit or if he can come here. Because of this shelter-in-place advisory, I have been telling him I'm more at risk due to my age. He then tries to make me feel guilty by saying things like, "We are both fine; there's no need to worry," and, "OK. Fine! That's the last time I'm going to ask. See you next month ... maybe."
The thing is, he's a nurse in a hospital. I live with two roommates who are also in their 60s, and I don't want to compromise them or my living situation. Am I doing the right thing? What are the risks if I decide to go for a visit and be with him? -- UNEASY IN THE WEST
DEAR UNEASY: You are doing the intelligent thing. What your boyfriend is proposing is risky. Because you don't want to possibly risk exposing your roommates to COVID-19, you cannot travel back and forth.
In my opinion, your boyfriend has a moral and ethical responsibility not to put YOU at risk. Here in Los Angeles, some hospital employees who live in multigenerational households have arranged to live apart from their loved ones during this crisis to prevent possibly exposing their families to the virus -- an arrangement that in some cases lasts for months.
If your boyfriend was concerned about your welfare, he would not be trying to guilt or threaten you into seeing him. IF you agree to visit him and plan to continue, find an apartment in which you live alone and do not visit your roommates unless you have first been tested and quarantined.