DEAR ABBY: I have a dilemma. My 33-year-old boyfriend keeps badgering me to see each other. We live 15 miles apart.

I'm a 60-year-old man in pretty good health. Before this pandemic, I worked out every day at a gym, and I still do at home now. Every day he keeps asking me to either come visit or if he can come here. Because of this shelter-in-place advisory, I have been telling him I'm more at risk due to my age. He then tries to make me feel guilty by saying things like, "We are both fine; there's no need to worry," and, "OK. Fine! That's the last time I'm going to ask. See you next month ... maybe."

The thing is, he's a nurse in a hospital. I live with two roommates who are also in their 60s, and I don't want to compromise them or my living situation. Am I doing the right thing? What are the risks if I decide to go for a visit and be with him? -- UNEASY IN THE WEST

DEAR UNEASY: You are doing the intelligent thing. What your boyfriend is proposing is risky. Because you don't want to possibly risk exposing your roommates to COVID-19, you cannot travel back and forth.

In my opinion, your boyfriend has a moral and ethical responsibility not to put YOU at risk. Here in Los Angeles, some hospital employees who live in multigenerational households have arranged to live apart from their loved ones during this crisis to prevent possibly exposing their families to the virus -- an arrangement that in some cases lasts for months.

If your boyfriend was concerned about your welfare, he would not be trying to guilt or threaten you into seeing him. IF you agree to visit him and plan to continue, find an apartment in which you live alone and do not visit your roommates unless you have first been tested and quarantined.

DEAR ABBY: My 50-year-old estranged daughter-in-law was abused by her brother growing up, and her father defends the abuser, which upsets her no end. I'm friendly with her father because he has been nice to me, and this revelation was news to me.

My daughter-in-law sent an email to me and others saying how hurt she is. I would like to respond, but since I'm friendly with her father, I'm not sure what to say. I want to tell her I am deeply sorry for her having been abused because it is extremely traumatic. Do you have any advice for me?

I love my son and his family, and I don't understand how things got this way between us. They no longer speak to me or let me (or my wife) have a relationship with my grandchildren, whom we love very much. -- HURT FATHER-IN-LAW IN TEXAS

DEAR HURT: It is not surprising that your son and daughter-in-law are now estranged from you and don't want you around their children. Things got this way because you placed as high a priority on your friendship with the father who defends her abuser as you did on your relationship with your daughter-in-law. While you understand that what happened to her was traumatic, you seem unable to grasp just how painful it has been for her. By siding with the wrong person because he was nice to you, you have intensified her trauma.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I are in our 60s and have a swimming pool that our kids and grandkids like to visit. Our issue is that our granddaughter wears a bathing suit that shows her bum. It isn't a thong, but close to it.

She's 16 and starting her junior year of high school this year. It makes my husband and me uncomfortable, and we have told my daughter as much. Is this one of those situations where we either accept it or don't allow her to swim with such a suit?

I love my granddaughter and will put up with the way it makes us feel if that is where the line is drawn, but it is hard for us to understand. When she brings her friends, they dress the same way. What do you advise? -- UNCOMFORTABLE GRANDPARENTS

DEAR GRANDPARENTS: Because you and your spouse are uncomfortable with the amount of exposure your granddaughter and her friends display when they come to swim, you have the right to tell them to wear something less revealing. It's your pool, and the bottom line is it's your privilege to set the rules. Be prepared, however, for your granddaughter to not want to use your pool as often in the future.

DEAR ABBY: My father is 87 and has stage 4 cancer. For years he has lied about being a hospital corpsman in the Navy during the Korean War. My parents live in a retirement community, and he talks about being in the war while wearing a Navy baseball cap. Dad was in the Naval Reserve (that we know of) but never saw combat.

Veterans' groups are always bringing him quilts, food, etc. My mom is horrified and doesn't know what to say when he goes on a rant about having been hit by shrapnel while pulling a fellow naval guy out of a burning building. He will pass away soon, and the veterans' groups will be giving Mom a flag he doesn't deserve. Mom doesn't know what to do. Should we just ignore the antics or say something? Please help. -- UNCERTAIN IN FLORIDA

DEAR UNCERTAIN: What your father has been doing is called "stolen valor" or "stolen honor," and it is seriously frowned upon by people who have actually earned it. It is a form of fraud. However, anyone who has served in the military and been honorably discharged is entitled to be given a flag when he or she is buried. It will be folded and presented to your mother.

As to the gifts he is receiving from the veterans' groups, suggest that because your father is now so close to the end, they be given to other vets who can use them.

DEAR ABBY: I've been dating a very sweet girl for the last four months, and I'm starting to have serious feelings for her. My children really like her, but she sat me down the other night and told me she's transgender. I'm crushed, and I don't know what to do. This blows my mind; please give me any guidance. I care a lot about this person, and I just want to cry. -- CRUSHED IN THE SOUTH

DEAR CRUSHED: You say you are starting to have serious feelings for this girl, who is not only sweet, but also honest. If you are worried what others might think if they find out she wasn't assigned female at birth, then she's not the girl for you. Because she has laid all her cards on the table, take this as an opportunity to have a series of frank conversations with her about what challenges might lie ahead for the both of you if this romance progresses.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have been together since we were 16, married for 25 years. Her parents took me in as a teenager, and her family has been my family ever since.

I'm the kind of person who loves everyone equally. I will bend over backward for someone in need and have done so for my wife's family many times.

Over the last few years, my wife's brother, nephew and niece have turned against me. They've called me controlling, hateful and racist. I am none of those. I am, though, a law enforcement officer and a Christian. My wife's brother is a convicted felon, and her niece went to one of those anti-everything colleges.

This has created a rift in the family and caused my wife and me to feel hated and isolated, which has ruined family gatherings and holidays. How can I fix this? What can I do to help them see me for who I am, instead of their biases based on my religion and occupation? -- REALLY NOT LIKE THAT

DEAR REALLY NOT: There is nothing you can or should do to erase their biases. From your description, you have done enough good deeds for your in-laws to have shown them the kind of person you are.

You have mentioned only your brother-in-law the felon and his radicalized daughter. Where does the rest of the family stand on this? If they are joining in and allowing you to be isolated, quit trying to impress them. Instead, spend your time with people who like, understand and accept you for who you are and don't look back. Your brother-in-law and his kids will come looking for you as soon as they need something else from you, but when they do, I sincerely hope you'll resist the temptation to buy your way back in.

DEAR ABBY: I work closely with a woman who is 21 years younger than I. We are both single. Because of our age difference and professional relationship I am not looking to date her. However, over the last couple years I have developed romantic feelings for her.

I converse with her by asking questions about movies she likes, books she reads or what she did the previous weekend. Her answers are usually short and without elaboration. I even share with her things that I do in my life, but never once in the five years I have known her, has she ever initiated a conversation with me or asked me about my life. She acts differently with other male co-workers. She does things for them, smiles at them and seems genuinely interested in their conversation. It really stings every time I see her socialize with others and ignore me. What can I do to get out of this psychological rut I am in? -- STUCK IN ILLINOIS

DEAR STUCK: Your co-worker may have picked up on the fact that you are attracted to her and it is not reciprocated, which is why she keeps your relationship strictly formal and work-related. I am sure this stings, and for that you have my sympathy.

You now must do what everyone else in your situation does, which is concentrate on meeting women who are available. You are not going to find what you're looking for in your workplace. What's going on is not healthy for you or conducive to a productive work environment. If you can't quell that crush on her, you may have to change jobs so you won't have to work so closely with her -- or at all.