DEAR ABBY: I live with my significant other. We have been together for 13 years now. I would like to ask his stepmother why she refuses to acknowledge me. She sends holiday cards addressed only to her stepson. I am left off invitations as if I simply do not exist. Should I confront her and tell her it hurts my feelings?

I have had a couple of visits with her, and I'm respectful. She has introduced me as "a friend" of her stepson. I feel it's time to speak up. Do you agree? -- FED UP IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR FED UP: I am surprised that after all this time your partner hasn't spoken to his stepmother about this. I agree it is time to bring this out into the open, but only if you can curb your resentment and talk calmly with her.

Tell her her omissions have been hurtful and ask why she seems incapable of acknowledging your relationship with her stepson. Once you have put her on the spot, listen to what she has to say, but resist the urge to strike out. If you can manage that, you will have not only learned something important about her, but you will also have kept your dignity.

DEAR ABBY: People often stress out over the stuff that goes on in daily life and don't seem to know how to deal with it. Frankly, I don't know either, because I stress out more than most of the people I know. Do you have any advice on some things I can do to stress less? -- TRYING TO COPE IN THE SOUTH

DEAR TRYING TO COPE: Several things come to mind. Make it your business to get out of the house and walk every day for at least 30 minutes. I find it has helped me to put things into perspective. Look online for some simple meditations and breathing exercises, which can also help to relax you.

If you drink, do so only in moderation. Remember, alcohol can be a depressive and make you feel tired and down. When you are feeling overwhelmed, recite the Serenity Prayer: "Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference."

And if your stress continues, don't suffer in silence -- discuss it with close friends and family, and if necessary, your doctor.

DEAR ABBY: I was a girl, then a young lady, next a mother and now a grandmother. I was never a "guy" until the last 10 years, when waitstaff and salespersons began calling me that when I am with my husband. Examples: "How are you guys tonight?" and "What can I get you guys?" I am not, nor have I ever been a "guy." Other than baring my breasts, how do I let people know that I am not a guy and wish to be addressed otherwise? -- CALL ME MA'AM IN FLORIDA

DEAR CALL ME: The servers and sales staff are not intending this as a personal affront. Using the word "guys" to refer to a couple or a group is becoming so common it's now in Webster's dictionary. However, this is a complaint voiced by many of my readers of a certain age, along with not enjoying being addressed as "Sweetie" or "Young Lady."

If it bothered me as much as it does you, I would quietly take it up with the manager or supervisor, and suggest that because it is annoying, "Sir" and "Ma'am" would be a more suitable substitute for "you guys." You might also prefer to dine in a less casual restaurant or shop in a more exclusive store to see if you are addressed differently.

DEAR ABBY: This may seem strange, but my husband is too nice. His late mother, a domineering woman who always got her way, trained him not to have an opinion. Almost everything he says is crafted to be neutral so that nobody can possibly take issue with him.

If I ask, "What do you want for dinner?" his reply is, "Whatever you want." If I ask, "What make of car should we buy?" his reply is, "What kind would you like?" When I give him several choices, he tries to guess what I would prefer. He is a wonderful, kind, sweet man who will do anything for me.

We both have professional degrees and are in our early 30s. He lived with his parents through college. I have been on my own longer than he. I've told him I'm not like his mother was, and it's safe for him to express his opinions. After two years of marriage, although I continue to solicit his opinion, not much has changed.

Abby, I am tired of being in charge of everything. I'm afraid I'll become like his mother and just do what I want because consulting him is a waste of time, and hearing another "whatever" answer irritates me. I feel like I'm raising a very obedient child. I wanted an equal partner in marriage. How should I handle this? -- WIFE, NOT MOTHER

DEAR WIFE: I am guessing you have had more than one conversation with your husband about this. There is a saying, "Give me a child 'til the age of 7, and he's mine for life," which references indoctrination. Your late mother-in-law had her son under her roof for about 25 years, so his personality traits are pretty well cemented in. You might have better luck if you start phrasing your questions differently. ("Do you want chicken or fish tonight?" "Do you want to decide or should I punch you in the nose?") But if that doesn't work, you may have to accept the man you married just the way his mother made him.

DEAR ABBY: I am currently living with my fiancee, "Josie." That we are a same-sex couple was hard for our families to come to terms with. (Mainly Josie's mother.)

We are now planning a small courthouse wedding with a family dinner to follow a week later. We have made this clear to family and close friends, and nobody has taken issue with it. However, Josie's mother thinks it "isn't right" that we are inviting only parents to the ceremony and not siblings (Josie has one; I have three). She also called Josie crying because Josie and I went dress shopping on our own (spontaneously).

My mother is perfectly happy with all of our decisions and supportive with whatever we decide. How can we get my fiancee's mother to be more supportive? -- WEDDING DRAMA IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR WEDDING DRAMA: It might be helpful to recognize that while your family is more accepting, Josie's mother appears to be struggling on a couple of fronts. As many mothers do, she may have fantasized about a church wedding, helping her daughter select her bridal gown, and having a son-in-law. In a sense, she is grieving the death of her fantasy. Frankly, I feel sorry for the woman. With time, I am sure she will become more accepting and supportive.

You and Josie are about to embark on your lives together. Let your happiness be the beacon that guides her mother to acceptance, although it may not happen as quickly as you would wish.

DEAR ABBY: A casual friend sent me a video of a comic doing a very lewd and vulgar routine. I was offended by it and forwarded it to my girlfriend to find out what she thought about it. She got very upset and told me I was being disrespectful to her by even passing it on to her. I should add that we met online and have been talking on the phone with each other for only a month during this shelter-in-place time.

This incident nearly ended our new relationship. Was I wrong to send her the video? And what should I do now to save what I think is the most wonderful relationship I have ever had in my life? -- NO LAUGHING MATTER

DEAR NO LAUGHING: Before sending the video, you should have warned your new girlfriend that it was vulgar and asked if she wanted to see it, which would have given her the opportunity to refuse. What you should do now is apologize for having offended her and tell her how much you value your relationship with her. Then cross your fingers that she still feels the same.

DEAR ABBY: My wife had some health issues over the last four years and gained 40 pounds. She keeps saying she wants to lose the weight, but doesn't do anything about it. Her blood pressure is high, so she needs to do it. When I try to bring it up, she gets mad and always mentions the health issues. But those issues are now totally behind her. What can I do or say to get her going again? -- FULL OF CONCERN IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR FULL: Tell your wife you don't mean to come across as a nag, but you are worried because of her blood pressure issue. She is far from the only person who procrastinates when faced with changing one's lifestyle.

Many folks are overindulging now because of the challenge of social isolation. Something that might benefit you both would be to encourage her to get out and start walking with you on a regular basis. And drop the subject of weight for now. Take it up again once your lives begin to normalize and she may be less defensive.

DEAR ABBY: My college-age daughter, "Dahlia," refuses to take seriously the social distancing necessary to control the spread of COVID-19, even though her college, like many others, has closed. She says it's all overblown, even though her father and I are older and she has a pregnant sister at home.

Dahlia is young, and she thinks she's invincible. I think my daughter is selfish for not caring about anyone else. What can I say to her? -- FOLLOWING THE RULES IN WEST VIRGINIA

DEAR FOLLOWING: Many people still are having trouble accepting the fact that we are all at risk because of an invisible and silent "enemy," COVID-19. Because you are unable to get through to Dahlia, assert yourself as the adult in the household and establish some rules to protect yourself, your husband, your pregnant daughter and your unborn grandchild. First among them: Dahlia must follow the government guidelines regarding social distancing, handwashing, etc. or find another place to live.