DEAR ABBY: I have a wonderful husband of almost 20 years and two teenage children. My husband is incredibly hardworking in his stressful career and has provided a very comfortable life for us. The trouble is, he puts work ahead of any self-care. He works most waking hours, doesn't eat well, exercises rarely, is overweight -- the list goes on. When I ask/encourage/nag him to make positive lifestyle choices, he reminds me of the life insurance he has and turns it around on me and says I am stressing him.
Abby, I love my husband, and I worry that this will cut his life and our life together short. Can you help? -- BESIDE MYSELF WITH WORRY
DEAR BESIDE YOURSELF: I wish I could wave a magic wand and make your husband receptive to what you are trying to do for him. But until he's ready to address these issues and do something about them, nothing will change.
If he enjoys his career and takes pride in the fact that you and your children are -- and will be -- provided for, then he's living the life he has chosen for himself. This does not mean you must give up entirely suggesting healthy lifestyle choices, but perhaps do it a little less often and in terms of activities he might enjoy.