DEAR ABBY: I have been with my husband since 2009. In 2017 we had a surprise baby, who is now 2 years and 9 months old.

Connecting as a couple was getting difficult before the pregnancy, but now that we have this cute, extremely energetic child, we don't connect at all. If I don't ask for a kiss, I don't get one. If I don't ask for sex, it would never happen. I have to initiate everything.

I have mentioned this issue many times but nothing changes. The only conversation he wants to have is about the news or what he did at work. If I try to talk about anything else, he gives me brief answers and moves to a different subject. I'm bored in this marriage and tired of not getting any kind of romance at all. Help! -- ROOMMATE OR ROMANCE?

DEAR R. OR R.: Your husband may be as overwhelmed by parenthood as you are, and concerned about providing for this "surprise" baby, which is why he has distanced himself. Your relationship could also have been winding down before your pregnancy happened. I am not sure a regularly scheduled date night can bring you two back in sync, but a licensed marriage and family therapist may be able to reopen the lines of communication between you.

DEAR ABBY: I am hoping for advice regarding my relationship with my father and his children. I met my dad and his much younger second family when I was 24. I have never felt close to any of them, and 10 years later, nothing has changed.

Dad lives across the country and is now terminal because of his alcoholism. My siblings are telling me I need to see him before he dies. I don't feel an obligation to do that, but I also feel guilty for not feeling bad.

I don't feel much connection with my siblings either, and am pretty sure that once my father passes, communication will cease completely. Should I reach out and try to rekindle a relationship before he passes? Do I owe him that? -- UNCERTAIN IN MAINE

DEAR UNCERTAIN: It may be a little late to rekindle a relationship with your father, who was absent during such a large chunk of your life. This may be the reason you aren't grieving his approaching death. That said, if there is anything you feel you might like to say to your father that has not been said -- and I'll bet there is plenty -- it might be in your own best interests to have a final conversation or two with him. It's not that you owe it to him; you owe it to yourself.

DEAR ABBY: My niece is being married very soon. I wasn't invited to her originally planned church wedding, but due to the coronavirus, she's now doing a Zoom wedding, and I have received an electronic invitation. Should I send her a wedding gift or is it not required/expected since we weren't included in the original wedding plans? -- TIMELY DILEMMA IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR T.D.: If you want to maintain a relationship with your niece, send her a gift with a sweet note wishing her a lifetime of happiness with her new spouse. If not, then decline.

DEAR ABBY: I have three beautiful daughters. The oldest moved to Wisconsin some years ago. About a year ago, my middle daughter went to visit her. My older daughter said something about politics that the younger one didn't like, and since then the younger one refuses to communicate with her, which is breaking my heart. My older daughter asked if I could help by talking to her. They used to be close and now this.

I tried talking to the younger one. She said she loves her older sister and for me to let her handle it. She promised she would contact her. It has been three months and -- nothing. What can I do? -- MOM REFEREE IN OREGON

DEAR MOM REFEREE: Too many things have become politicized lately, and it is to the detriment of relationships both personal and professional. If "change begins at home," let it start with you. Step back, stop counting the days and refuse to be put in the middle of this. Whatever their disagreement was, the problem is theirs to resolve, not yours.

DEAR ABBY: A few months ago, new neighbors moved in next door. They have been very nice and helpful. I work a lot, so they have done things like grab packages or take care of little things like bringing in my trash can.

I have thanked them many times, but three weeks ago I decided to do something extra special. I bought a lovely thank-you card and put a $100 restaurant gift card inside. I knocked on their door and handed it to the husband.

Abby, I haven't received any type of thank-you from them. I don't want to seem petty, but part of me is hurt by their lack of acknowledgment. They have my number, and I'm obviously home at a certain hour of the day. Do you think that because they helped me out, they felt they deserved my gift and a thank-you wasn't necessary? I am at the point where I no longer want them to do anything for me. Am I being petty, or do I have a right to feel hurt? -- UNAPPRECIATED IN NEW YORK

DEAR UNAPPRECIATED: Yes, you are being petty. You are essentially bemoaning not getting a thank-you for a thank-you. Your neighbors may not have said anything because they were overwhelmed by your generosity. The next time you see the husband or the wife, ASK if your display of gratitude may have made them uncomfortable. But in the interest of good relations, please stop judging them as harshly as you have.

DEAR ABBY: My sister was spring cleaning recently and came across a 14-karat gold crucifix pendant she had found in front of our family's house decades ago. Being nonreligious, my sister didn't know what to do with it. She didn't want to be disrespectful by improperly disposing of it, so she kept it. I offered it to someone I know, but she doesn't need another crucifix, so I'd like to know what should be done with it. Is there an organization that handles this sort of thing? -- RESPECTFULLY NOT RELIGIOUS

DEAR R.N.R.: If selling the crucifix doesn't interest you, contact the nearest Christian church and talk to someone there about donating it so it can be given to someone who needs it, such as a recent convert or a newly confirmed young person. I am sure your offer would be appreciated.

DEAR ABBY: I have a question about my daughter's new husband, "Brad." I haven't interfered with their marriage and don't want to, but he seems very moody and barely speaks to me. Just when I think I've found a common topic, on the next visit four or five weeks later, he doesn't say a word.

During my last visit, he got very upset with my daughter because a piece of chicken fell out of his wrap while she was tasting it. She apologized twice, but her eyes were watering when I walked into the room. I wanted so badly to just hug her and ask Brad "What's wrong with you?" I have heard his tone before. Should I do anything? -- QUESTIONING IN THE SOUTH

DEAR QUESTIONING: If Brad has behaved this way before when you were visiting, is it possible that your visit was inconvenient for him? Could they be having marital problems?

I don't think it would qualify as interference to ask your daughter how often her husband gets upset over things as trivial as a piece of chicken spilling out of his wrap. Exploding over something so insignificant could be an indication that there is a larger problem that hasn't been dealt with. It also would not be interfering to let your daughter know that if this happens often, it isn't normal, and that you are -- and always will be -- there for her if she feels she needs it.

DEAR ABBY: A friend died in a state that has restrictions on gathering for funerals because of the pandemic. Only those in the household, the mortuary staff and a pastor or other religious officiant can be present at the funeral.

This was a good friend, Abby, someone I had known for 35 years. He and his wife, also a longtime friend, were in my wedding party. The sudden loss of this friend saddens me, and it grieves me that I cannot offer condolences in person or attend the funeral or support his widow in person. Other readers may also be facing this quandary. Do you have any suggestions? -- GRIEVING ON THE EAST COAST

DEAR GRIEVING: Ask your friend's widow if the funeral home can stream the funeral service to friends and extended family who are unable to attend in person. Call her, extend your condolences, and ask if she needs your help or if she is planning to have a memorial you can attend once the quarantine is lifted.

While you're at it, ask if she would like a contribution in her late husband's name made to a particular organization. Do not send flowers without first asking because she may be inundated. And, of course, continue calling to check on her, lift her spirits and allow her to vent if she needs to, which may help her to feel less isolated and vulnerable.

DEAR ABBY: I have a question about privacy. No matter when I am in the restroom, my husband feels the need to come in and hang out. Every single day. I have mentioned over and over that I would prefer some privacy, but he won't listen. I mean, come on, is nothing sacred? What gives? -- EXPOSED IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR EXPOSED: You have my sympathy. Your husband either doesn't respect your need for privacy or has an insatiable desire for a captive audience. The solution to your problem may be as simple as a sturdy lock on your bathroom door.