DEAR ABBY: I divorced my wife 20 years ago, leaving behind two daughters. My older girl was 5 when I left, and due to my ex's lies, I wasn't able to see them.

When my older daughter turned 18, she contacted me. She confessed that she had been forced to lie in court, and we reconnected. At 19, she came to me pregnant. She asked if I would take her baby and asked that I tell no one, especially her mother. I agreed.

Last year, my daughter died in a car wreck. My granddaughter will turn 4. Should I go against my daughter's wishes, tell my ex and risk her taking her? Or should I let things remain as they are? My current wife and I are the only people who know. -- SECRET IN VIRGINIA

DEAR SECRET: I urge you to discuss this matter with a lawyer because there may be legal ramifications. Your former wife has demonstrated she is the kind of person who would force a child to lie in a custody matter. Having done it once, she's capable of doing something equally underhanded. I am trying hard to come up with a reason why you should go against your daughter's wishes and disclose this to your ex, and I cannot think of a single one.

DEAR ABBY: I'm concerned about my daughter. She's 12 and wants to hang out with a 21-year-old male volunteer from her school. His mother works there, and I've known their family for a few years, although we've never socialized.

Recently, my daughter said she wants to meet him at a park to learn some skateboard moves. She tries to tell me it's harmless, that he just likes the skateboarding sport, but I am uncomfortable about the age difference and the fact that he works at her school. I don't know what to do. What's your advice in this situation? -- STUMPED IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR STUMPED: Although the young man's motives may be pure, I do not think your daughter should be meeting him at the park without supervision. Accompany her so you can gauge the situation. Because he is volunteering at her school, you should first check to see if that kind of fraternization is allowed because it may not be, and it could cost him his position.

DEAR ABBY: Am I awful because I don't sympathize when people put their business on the internet? For example, I read some comments on YouTube, and this woman was talking about how "all men cheat." I told her maybe it's just all the men she opens her legs to. My account was suspended for a week because of it.

Another time, a man was talking about how none of his many kids talk to him. I asked what he had done to them that none of them speak to him, and he got mad. Abby, I'm not looking for trouble. I feel that if you can't take someone not kissing up to you, stop putting your business out there. Am I wrong? -- STRAIGHTFORWARD IN THE WEST

DEAR STRAIGHTFORWARD: I think so. When traits were handed out, it appears someone forgot to give you a filter. I agree that some people overshare online and doing it comes with a risk. However, your comments weren't helpful; in fact, they were cruel. When a bee stings, its prey tries to swat it away, and that's what's happening to you. To avoid trouble, curb your impulse to comment, or be prepared to deal with the consequences that are sure to follow.

DEAR ABBY: In middle school, I had a crush on a boy. He didn't even know I existed. Through a chance meeting many years later, he noticed me, but there were complications. He didn't know how to tell his ex it was too late for her, and it became a love triangle. She saw the error of her ways and left. He and I have been together ever since. He still talked to her as they had been friends forever, but two months ago he stopped.

Meanwhile, through all of this, she has been cyber-stalking and manipulating me. She has created multiple Facebook accounts to torture me, sent me a video of my boyfriend doing sexual things and tried to make me believe it was current. (It was five years old.)

He cut off contact with her, and it was glorious until last week, when she helped him get back in touch with his son, whom he hasn't seen in 10-plus years. I see it for the manipulation it is, but he sees it as her redemption. He doesn't care that it hurts me, and he refuses to get rid of her.

She has slandered me all over Facebook, and I don't think he should expect me to be OK with this or for him to even WANT a person like that in his life. He was AMAZING without her influence. How do I get him back to that person? I miss him so much! -- ANGUISHED IN ARIZONA

DEAR ANGUISHED: Let me get this straight. This man cheated on his ex with you, and you expected her to play fair? I wish you had mentioned why your boyfriend hasn't seen his son in more than 10 years. It might have been the most interesting paragraph in your letter. Were he and his ex married? Just living together while she was "in denial"?

From where I sit, she is doing everything she can to fight for "her man." He appears to have fences to mend with his son and with her, and you may have to accept it. It looks like he has already made up his mind about that, and unless you can accept it, your romance will be over. Only you can decide whether staying with this person is worth the drama.

DEAR ABBY: My sister-in-law moved into the house next door three years ago. While I enjoy her company and like her as a person, I'm having difficulty expressing my frustration with one particular issue.

I have a beautiful hedge that separates our driveways and provides privacy. She regularly leaves her garbage can lids on top of my hedge as well as various other things she's discarding (eventually). Today I noticed a large portion of the shrub showing what appears to be a chemical burn. (She has been known to use toxic chemicals to rid her yard of weeds, etc.) I don't want to offend her, but at the same time, I'm struggling to find the words to properly address my desire for her to mind the property line. Help! -- RELATED TO MY NEIGHBOR

DEAR RELATED: This is something you should have addressed when the problem started. Approach her calmly and say something like this: "It bothers me that you leave your trash can lids and other items on my hedge. When you do, it makes me feel disrespected. Something you left on the hedge has damaged it. My hedge was expensive to install, and this is upsetting me. Please don't do it again."

DEAR ABBY: My roommate owns the house. His girlfriend and her two children are over here all day, every day. I have my own living room, office and bedroom, and we share the kitchen and bathroom.

I'm clean and respectful and try to mind my own business. The problem is, neither of them work. They drink heavily every day and then scream and fight for hours. Since COVID-19, they have been drinking even more and fighting constantly. Sometimes it gets physical.

My roommate is a verbally abusive drunk, and his girlfriend threatens to leave when he starts abusing her kids, but doesn't follow through. I have intervened a couple of times on behalf of the children, but there's only so much I can do.

Lately, they've been screaming at the top of their lungs about me. I work from home and often customers on the phone hear them drop F-bomb after F-bomb. I'm afraid their behavior will lead to me losing my job. They're also up until 2 or 3 a.m. every night fighting, which keeps me from sleeping (even with earplugs).

I'm completely stressed out and starting to get depressed. I'm not sure what to do. I have limited funds, so moving would be difficult. I'm wondering if you have any suggestions so I can weather the storm. -- BAD SITUATION IN UTAH

DEAR BAD SITUATION: This storm isn't going to end. I feel for the children whose mother doesn't protect them from her abusive boyfriend. The result will be they will think they deserve the mistreatment they are receiving, which may affect them for the rest of their lives.

I am not sure there is a way to "weather" the storm. Because these addicts cannot control their behavior, and it is affecting the way your clients perceive you, it would be better to get out of there. If possible, go live temporarily with a friend or relative until you find affordable alternative living quarters. Your job may depend on it.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter-in-law "Hannah" told one of my children that she is sorry she married my son. He does not know. They are both young adults.

Hannah and her mother had pushed for the marriage. She even bought her wedding dress before he proposed. My son loves her. He is special-needs, lower IQ and gullible.

What do I do with this information? It will hurt him, but I don't want him wasting years married to someone who doesn't love him. He deserves better than that. -- SAD MOM IN FLORIDA

DEAR SAD MOM: Your son needs to know what Hannah has been saying and receive as much support from the family as possible. I think the news should come from the person in whom Hannah confided rather than from you, which could be perceived as meddling. This should also be discussed with an attorney. I hope you will do it soon, before there are children involved.

DEAR ABBY: On May 3, you responded to a cancer patient about what to say to those who bring up her cancer. What do you recommend to readers whose good friends disclose their cancer for the first time? What can be said that shows concern, understanding and being supportive? -- AT A LOSS FOR WORDS

DEAR AT A LOSS: I will share what I have said to people I care about when told of their diagnosis. I hope it will guide you. I tell the person I am sorry to hear the person is having to fight that battle, that I will mention him or her in my prayers until remission is accomplished, and offer whatever emotional support the person is willing to accept from me. And then I follow through.