DEAR ABBY: I've been friends with "Lorraine" for 30 years. Actually, the friendship is kind of one-sided because she bugs the hell out of me.

She's a super-skinny health nut who constantly posts health advice and "uplifting" mantras on social media. Her Instagram feed is filled with pictures of her bland-looking vegan food and her doing yoga poses or running 5Ks in midriff tops so we can all see her six-pack abs. She regularly donates blood plasma and posts pictures of that, too.

Dining with her is embarrassing because she grills the waiters on how the food is prepared, even in vegan restaurants that list all ingredients. She comes off -- to me, anyway -- as thinking she has every facet of life figured out. She has been married twice to two jerks, keeps breaking and making up with "Harry," a seemingly nice guy, because he's fat (he's slightly plump yet attractive) and drinks too much (not sure about that). Her son, whom she treated as an annoyance and inconvenience when he was young, is now a gun-toting drug dealer.

I'm not perfect (I know I'm lazy, impatient and drink too much), but I don't portray myself as otherwise. My husband, a nicer person than I am, doesn't understand my resentment of Lorraine and keeps reminding me how much she loves me. She does. We're both in our 50s, but I feel like I've outgrown our friendship.

By the way, I don't think I'm jealous of her because I'm very happy in my marriage and feel that I am more attractive than she is (despite outweighing her). Must I stay friends with Lorraine? If not, how do I end it? -- CANCELING HER IN KANSAS CITY

DEAR CANCELING: It appears you have a love/hate relationship with Lorraine. Nothing is wrong with you, and no law says you must maintain a friendship with her. When contact becomes more of an annoyance than a pleasure, many people begin editing their circle of acquaintances. The way to end your relationship with her would be to make yourself less available when she calls or wants to get together. If she asks you why, explain that you have fewer of the same interests than you used to, while omitting the part about her six-pack abs.

DEAR ABBY: I am a widow. My husband passed away three years ago after 43 years of marriage. I met a widower who was also married for 43 years. His wife passed five years ago.

My grown children and grandchildren refuse to accept him. My therapist and psychiatrist tell me to stand my ground because I'm in love with him, as he is with me. Even my priest, who officiated at my husband's funeral, said I should consider this relationship as heaven-sent.

We get along beautifully, and it breaks my heart that my family wants me to choose between him or them. I am devastated over this because this is not how my family is. We are in love and although I love my family with all of my heart, I don't think they have the right to gang up against me. May I have your opinion on this? -- DEVASTATED MOTHER

DEAR DEVASTATED: What a painful situation. You say this isn't how your family is. Open your eyes, dear lady, and recognize that this is exactly who they are. Then open up your ears and pay attention to the psychiatrist and the therapist you are paying good money for, as well as your priest. My opinion is you must live your life, and my advice is to get on with it.

DEAR ABBY: I'm currently waiting to donate my kidney to my sister, who is a year older than I am. My husband and I traveled many hours to get evaluated and tested at her clinic, so the insurance would cover the cost.

Before heading back to our home state, we decided to stop by to pay her a surprise visit and, honestly, she did something that's making me rethink my decision. She was eating pizza and drinking a can of soda. Abby, my sister is on dialysis and supposed to be following a strict diet. It upset my husband, but he didn't say anything to her because we had just had an argument in the car about my decision to donate to her. It upset me, too, but I didn't speak up either.

I have been disciplined all my adult life, living a healthy life and making smart choices to benefit my body. Now that my sister needs a kidney, I feel this may have been the reason for my good habits. How can I stress to her how important it is to me that she adopt better eating habits if she is to get my kidney? I don't have another one to donate if she ruins this one. My husband and I will also be sacrificing time away from our four kids (ages 1-15) for the surgery and recovery. -- SECOND THOUGHTS IN TEXAS

DEAR SECOND THOUGHTS: Your concerns are valid. Donating a kidney is a decision that needs to be well thought out. It is also a decision that is ultimately up to only you. It shouldn't be made because you feel pressure based on who you're donating to, in your case, your sister. Keep in mind, it's impossible to control another person's behavior. Once this precious gift is given, there's no going back. Speak up now and let her know how you felt about what you saw, but understand it won't necessarily guarantee that she will make any changes.

My suggestion is to continue this conversation with your living donor social worker or ILDA (independent living donor advocate) at the transplant center where you were evaluated. These professionals can help to guide you toward making the best decision by further exploring your concerns, not only for you, but also your family.

While being a living kidney donor can be a positive and beautiful experience, it is equally important to make sure that it's the right decision for you. The same is true for anyone considering donating. For those who are interested in being a potential kidney donor and would like to confidentially connect with someone who has already donated, contact the Patient Information Help Line of the National Kidney Foundation ((855) 653-2273). However: This is NOT a substitute for speaking with a living donor social worker or ILDA.

DEAR ABBY: I understand that nonbinary folks prefer the pronoun "they" instead of "she" or "he." It's going to take some getting used to, but that's OK. My question is, when using "they" but referring to one person, do you use a singular or plural verb? Singular sounds weird, but plural is confusing. -- THE GRAMMAR NERD

DEAR GRAMMAR: I agree that the usage will take some people a while to get used to, but language is constantly changing. Use the plural form of the verb when speaking about a nonbinary or gender-fluid person who prefers "they." Example: "They are a new member of our company." Or, "I love singer Sam Smith. They have won four Grammy Awards."

DEAR ABBY: My 53-year-old daughter is an addict. First it was alcohol, then hard drugs and opioids. This has been going off and on for 40 years.

She hit bottom recently. She became homeless and ended up in a women's shelter in another state. She says she's been clean about six months. The shelter helped her find a place to live, and she draws a disability check, so she has everything she needs.

She constantly contacts me and her father saying she wants to come home. We have helped her to the point of mental, physical and financial exhaustion, and we just can't go there again. It's the most difficult thing we've ever gone through. We know we shouldn't continue to enable her, but if we don't, we feel like terrible parents. Any advice would be much appreciated. -- TERRIBLE PARENTS IN INDIANA

DEAR PARENTS: You already know what will happen if you cave in to your daughter's begging to "come home." From now on, when she asks, remind her that she already IS home, in the place the people from the shelter helped her to find. Her troubles have nothing to do with you. They are the result of the life she created for herself. You already know that enabling her hasn't worked. The time has come for you and your husband to take better care of yourselves.

DEAR ABBY: My ex-wife and I separated after 56 years of marriage. I recently found out she had been raped. Twice. The first was somebody I worked around at the air base. The second was by her father to "teach her a lesson" for getting raped the first time.

When I asked her about it, she said it was none of my business because it happened before we met, but I think she should have told me. I worked around the first guy. Who knows what he told the other airmen behind my back? I also asked very personal questions of her dad, which I now regret. My question is, was she right or should she have told me? -- UPSET PERSON IN THE EAST

DEAR UPSET PERSON: I doubt that the person who worked with you on the air base would have spent much time bragging about having raped, so please, stop obsessing about what the person might have said. That your wife was raped later by her own father must have been devastating. Both of the animals who abused her belonged in jail.

That said, although your wife probably should have told you what happened to her, she was not obligated to do so. Your marriage is over. Let it go!

DEAR ABBY: With the stay-at-home order still in place in many states, take-out or delivery is the only option for nights when we don't want to cook. How much should we be tipping the people who deliver our food? With sites like Grubhub, which offer free delivery, do these drivers/deliverers get paid? I feel bad for someone coming to my house and leaving a bag of food on my doorstep, and I want to make sure they are compensated. How much would be a reasonable tip? -- LIKES MY DELIVERY

DEAR LIKES: The Grubhub website recommends a $5 or 20% tip -- whichever is greater. When you tip, the money goes straight to the delivery drivers, as it should. Some orders may include an additional delivery fee, but it is not a tip, and drivers don't receive that money, so make sure not to deduct it from the amount you tip.