DEAR ABBY: I am part of a couples group that gets together on a regular basis for dinner. The problem is one of the women takes over the conversation, and it becomes her monologue. She just won't stop! She goes into minute detail about every aspect of her life for the last couple of weeks (or months or years!) and the lives of her family, friends, friends of family and friends of friends. These are people we don't know and don't care about!

We have tried to redirect the conversation by asking someone else a specific question. Before they can hardly comment, she jumps right in again. She's a nice person, and a friend. Can you suggest a kind way we can fix this, or do we just have to exclude them from these dinners? -- EARS HURTING IN OHIO

DEAR EARS HURTING: The woman may not realize how her efforts to be entertaining are perceived by the rest of you. Someone -- possibly you -- has to summon up the courage to tell her how off-putting her monologues are. It may not be an easy conversation to have, but it would be better than excluding her with no explanation. If, however, she is unable to change her behavior, the solution would be to stop inviting her.

DEAR ABBY: I just turned 51 and have been diagnosed with cancer for the second time. Why is it that when I tell someone I have cancer, their first response is to tell me about every person in their life who has had cancer and all the gloomy stories? One family member actually pulled out pictures to show me her SIL's hair growing back. Why do they think this is an appropriate response? It's the last thing I want to hear.

It is difficult to remain positive, and I struggle with letting people in. The more this happens, the more I shut down. Your thoughts? -- TRYING IN SALEM, MASS.

DEAR TRYING: It might help to remind yourself that these individuals may be trying to show you they identify with what you and their relatives have experienced. The family member who showed you that picture may have thought she was being encouraging by showing you a positive outcome -- that after chemo, your hair may grow back.

If someone starts a conversation along these lines, it is perfectly acceptable to tell the person you would rather not discuss the subject right now -- or ever. Please don't allow the fact that some people are inappropriate to isolate you. As I am sure you are aware, there are cancer support groups in which you can receive emotional support. If you need to find one, visit cancer.org.

DEAR ABBY: I have this friend "Bill," and every day I give him three or four cigarettes. I never ask him for money, but this has been going on for a long time. Bill keeps saying he will buy me a carton, but he's been saying this for five months now. I gave him $50 for his birthday and again at Christmas time. I'm tired of giving. How can I end this vicious cycle? -- MICHAEL IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR MICHAEL: In the words of the late Nancy Reagan, "Just say no!" (You are being given a great opportunity to quit smoking. TAKE IT!)

DEAR ABBY: For some reason, my father hates my fiance to the point where, when I stayed with my fiance for one day, Dad wouldn't allow me to come home. Dad said many nasty things after eventually letting me back home, but among the more hurtful ones were that he hoped my fiance would abuse me, and that I shouldn't be allowed to get married. He doesn't remember saying them, but I remember them well.

Only my immediate family and my fiance's family know the specifics, and whenever I say I would rather have my brother walk me down the aisle, my relatives are all in disbelief. Dad has come to terms with my engagement to my fiance, but he treats him differently compared to my older sister's boyfriend. Am I really in the wrong for not wanting him to escort me? -- MISUNDERSTOOD BRIDE-TO-BE

DEAR MISUNDERSTOOD: Does your father have a substance abuse problem? An anger management problem? Under the circumstances, it is understandable that you would prefer someone else walk you down the aisle.

Your fiance must be a saint to want to enter a marriage with a built-in in-law problem like your dad. My advice is to do what is best for the two of you, including considering an elopement.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a girl in my teens. My best friend moved away, and I miss her so much. It feels like the world has turned against me, and I am depressed.

I don't like to text her, and I don't think she would let me call her every single day, although I haven't asked. I'm afraid we're not going to be friends anymore, and I feel so distant from my other friends. I made a new friend this year, but it isn't the same.

What should I do, Abby? Do I talk to her about it? Or should I stop being her friend? -- MISSING MY BEST FRIEND

DEAR MISSING: It is painful when life separates people. As you pointed out, friendships, unlike Lego blocks, are not interchangeable. Do not suddenly stop communicating with your friend. You should absolutely talk to her and tell her how you are feeling because she may be feeling the same way.

With more time, you will get past this. You will meet more people and establish new relationships. But in the meantime, try to stay busy, which will help you feel less isolated.

DEAR ABBY: I am an 84-year-old divorced alum from a local college, who has developed feelings for a 59-year-old widowed alum from a local university. She works at my former college and visited me a month ago asking for a donation to the college. Since then, she has shown extreme appreciation of my gift, via letter, emails and phone calls.

I'm curious as to how much her feelings of appreciation are for her success as a fundraiser, or if the attraction could be mutual. Do you think the age difference is too much for me to pursue a meaningful relationship with her? I would appreciate your opinion. Thank you. -- UNKNOWN FEELINGS IN VIRGINIA

DEAR UNKNOWN FEELINGS: Depending upon the condition you are in physically and financially, the age difference may not be an insurmountable problem. At 59, she is old enough to decide whether it's a deal-breaker. Invite her out. See if she accepts. If she hits you up for another donation, you will know where you stand.

DEAR ABBY: My fiancee has two daughters (14 and 11) from a previous marriage. Their dad, "Brett," was just arrested for his fourth DUI, the second within a year. The girls don't trust him anymore, and their image of him has changed greatly.

We have always encouraged the girls to stay with their dad on "his" days, but when they do, Brett rarely does anything with them, and he berates them. I know he misses his girls, and his siblings have told us the girls need to get past this because "tomorrow is not guaranteed." I understand. I live my life on that premise. But if Brett isn't willing to change, then why should we continue to encourage his being in their lives? He cares only about his image, not the actual relationship with his daughters.

He has a history with drugs and alcohol, and in the last 12 months, he has been fired from three different jobs. This is not the role model the girls need. I know I'm not their father, but it kills me seeing them hurt. Should we encourage them to still visit him? Or do we let them decide? I'm a soon-to-be stepfather who wants only what is best for the girls. -- PARENTING IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR PARENTING: When there is a divorce with children involved, custody arrangements are usually dictated by the court. Your fiancee's daughters may not have much choice but to visit their father on "his" days. That said, the custody arrangement can be altered if it becomes necessary.

I agree that someone with four DUIs is not a great role model, and he could be a danger to them if he is still allowed to drive. Encourage the girls to keep you informed of what transpires during their visits with their father. I disagree with the relatives who say they must get past their father's neglect and verbal abuse.

DEAR ABBY: I have three sisters. We are all in our 50s and 60s. Three of us get along great and always have, but we have all had issues with our oldest sister, "Lulu." She has gotten angry at us for many different reasons.

When our father was terminally ill, she wanted one of us to live with him in his home even though we thought it was enough that we were in the same small town and went over there daily. Also, Lulu is a widow and not financially secure, and she feels we have not helped her out enough. There have been times we have gotten along wonderfully, but sadly, it always ends in drama.

I miss her regardless of the drama, but she seems to have written us off. She is convinced that she is right, and we are bad for her. Must I learn to accept this and move on? Or should I try to make it right? My youngest sister wants nothing to do with her. She says Lulu is bad for her mental health. Can you help me to finally resolve this one way or the other? -- DYSFUNCTIONAL IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR DYSFUNCTIONAL: You are not responsible for Lulu's financial woes. Let her know you are there for her, but cannot help support her financially. I'm sorry you didn't mention whether she has a job. If she doesn't, she needs to find one to supplement her income. Unless you are willing to cave to emotional blackmail and supplement your sister's income for the rest of her life (or yours), accept that it may be time to move on.