DEAR ABBY: For some reason, my father hates my fiance to the point where, when I stayed with my fiance for one day, Dad wouldn't allow me to come home. Dad said many nasty things after eventually letting me back home, but among the more hurtful ones were that he hoped my fiance would abuse me, and that I shouldn't be allowed to get married. He doesn't remember saying them, but I remember them well.

Only my immediate family and my fiance's family know the specifics, and whenever I say I would rather have my brother walk me down the aisle, my relatives are all in disbelief. Dad has come to terms with my engagement to my fiance, but he treats him differently compared to my older sister's boyfriend. Am I really in the wrong for not wanting him to escort me? -- MISUNDERSTOOD BRIDE-TO-BE

DEAR MISUNDERSTOOD: Does your father have a substance abuse problem? An anger management problem? Under the circumstances, it is understandable that you would prefer someone else walk you down the aisle.

Your fiance must be a saint to want to enter a marriage with a built-in in-law problem like your dad. My advice is to do what is best for the two of you, including considering an elopement.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a girl in my teens. My best friend moved away, and I miss her so much. It feels like the world has turned against me, and I am depressed.

I don't like to text her, and I don't think she would let me call her every single day, although I haven't asked. I'm afraid we're not going to be friends anymore, and I feel so distant from my other friends. I made a new friend this year, but it isn't the same.

What should I do, Abby? Do I talk to her about it? Or should I stop being her friend? -- MISSING MY BEST FRIEND

DEAR MISSING: It is painful when life separates people. As you pointed out, friendships, unlike Lego blocks, are not interchangeable. Do not suddenly stop communicating with your friend. You should absolutely talk to her and tell her how you are feeling because she may be feeling the same way.

With more time, you will get past this. You will meet more people and establish new relationships. But in the meantime, try to stay busy, which will help you feel less isolated.

DEAR ABBY: I am an 84-year-old divorced alum from a local college, who has developed feelings for a 59-year-old widowed alum from a local university. She works at my former college and visited me a month ago asking for a donation to the college. Since then, she has shown extreme appreciation of my gift, via letter, emails and phone calls.

I'm curious as to how much her feelings of appreciation are for her success as a fundraiser, or if the attraction could be mutual. Do you think the age difference is too much for me to pursue a meaningful relationship with her? I would appreciate your opinion. Thank you. -- UNKNOWN FEELINGS IN VIRGINIA

DEAR UNKNOWN FEELINGS: Depending upon the condition you are in physically and financially, the age difference may not be an insurmountable problem. At 59, she is old enough to decide whether it's a deal-breaker. Invite her out. See if she accepts. If she hits you up for another donation, you will know where you stand.

DEAR ABBY: My fiancee has two daughters (14 and 11) from a previous marriage. Their dad, "Brett," was just arrested for his fourth DUI, the second within a year. The girls don't trust him anymore, and their image of him has changed greatly.

We have always encouraged the girls to stay with their dad on "his" days, but when they do, Brett rarely does anything with them, and he berates them. I know he misses his girls, and his siblings have told us the girls need to get past this because "tomorrow is not guaranteed." I understand. I live my life on that premise. But if Brett isn't willing to change, then why should we continue to encourage his being in their lives? He cares only about his image, not the actual relationship with his daughters.

He has a history with drugs and alcohol, and in the last 12 months, he has been fired from three different jobs. This is not the role model the girls need. I know I'm not their father, but it kills me seeing them hurt. Should we encourage them to still visit him? Or do we let them decide? I'm a soon-to-be stepfather who wants only what is best for the girls. -- PARENTING IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR PARENTING: When there is a divorce with children involved, custody arrangements are usually dictated by the court. Your fiancee's daughters may not have much choice but to visit their father on "his" days. That said, the custody arrangement can be altered if it becomes necessary.

I agree that someone with four DUIs is not a great role model, and he could be a danger to them if he is still allowed to drive. Encourage the girls to keep you informed of what transpires during their visits with their father. I disagree with the relatives who say they must get past their father's neglect and verbal abuse.

DEAR ABBY: I have three sisters. We are all in our 50s and 60s. Three of us get along great and always have, but we have all had issues with our oldest sister, "Lulu." She has gotten angry at us for many different reasons.

When our father was terminally ill, she wanted one of us to live with him in his home even though we thought it was enough that we were in the same small town and went over there daily. Also, Lulu is a widow and not financially secure, and she feels we have not helped her out enough. There have been times we have gotten along wonderfully, but sadly, it always ends in drama.

I miss her regardless of the drama, but she seems to have written us off. She is convinced that she is right, and we are bad for her. Must I learn to accept this and move on? Or should I try to make it right? My youngest sister wants nothing to do with her. She says Lulu is bad for her mental health. Can you help me to finally resolve this one way or the other? -- DYSFUNCTIONAL IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR DYSFUNCTIONAL: You are not responsible for Lulu's financial woes. Let her know you are there for her, but cannot help support her financially. I'm sorry you didn't mention whether she has a job. If she doesn't, she needs to find one to supplement her income. Unless you are willing to cave to emotional blackmail and supplement your sister's income for the rest of her life (or yours), accept that it may be time to move on.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have two sons in their late 30s. We always thought they got along well and loved each other. Over the past year, they are no longer speaking with each other because of hard feelings over current situations. They live in the same neighborhood.

My husband refuses to stay at either one's house now when we visit from out of town because he's so upset at the turn of events. (We have been getting a hotel room.) When I visit on my own, I stay with our older son because there is no place to stay with the younger one.

The disagreement between my husband and me is I want to continue to visit as I have, understanding there are differences but hoping they will come to a solution. I refuse to choose one over the other, and I'm trying to be consistent with love and be a good role model. Both of our sons know this.

My husband is upset with me because I don't support his position of not staying at either house until they make up. This is creating more friction in a situation that is already breaking our hearts. What do you recommend? We have made our suggestions for a resolution, but these are grown men who must do the work themselves. -- MOM IN A DIFFICULT SPOT

DEAR MOM: I recommend you continue to do what makes you comfortable. Your sons both know you love them. If your husband thinks that your staying in a hotel -- provided you can find one during the current shutdowns -- will somehow manipulate your sons into settling their differences more quickly, he is mistaken. It hasn't worked so far. As you stated, your "boys" are grown men. I agree with you that they will have to hash this out on their own.

DEAR ABBY: My fiance often leaves memory cards out on his dresser after a day of being home alone. I was by myself one day and looked at them. There were photos of a nude woman wrapped in his bed sheet on his bed back in 2018. In them, she is posing. We were dating when they were taken, but not yet living together or engaged.

He dabbles in photography, but never mentioned this or informed me he was doing this shoot. I found another set from 2017 -- prior to our relationship -- that is not as "tastefully" done. Do I have reason for concern? I thought these things were professionally done off-site. His bedroom, though? -- UNEASY IN NEW YORK

DEAR UNEASY: If the photos were taken before you and your fiance were exclusive, I doubt you have any reason to worry. However, rather than ask me if you have anything to be concerned about, any questions you have about his "dabbling" would be better addressed directly to him.

DEAR ABBY: I have a grown daughter whom my ex-husband named "Brenda." (It is her middle name.) She's married, a mother of five and lived abroad for quite some time. She's back in the U.S. now and living 50 miles away from our family. She now wants to be called by her first name, which is "Riley." The problem is, everyone here at home knows her as Brenda. Presently, I still call her Brenda. How can this be resolved? -- NOT HAPPY IN THE SOUTH

DEAR NOT HAPPY: Resolve this by using the name your adult daughter prefers. If you refuse, expect the distance between you to become greater than 50 miles.