DEAR ABBY: My 20-year-old daughter refuses to get her driver's license. She took the learner's permit test four times when she was 16, failed it each time and gave up. She goes to college online and has a job at the local store. Next week she is going to be promoted to assistant manager.

I don't work, but I'm tired of driving her around. We live in a small town that has no public transportation. Every time her father or I mention getting her license, she says, "Don't start" or, "I don't want to talk about it!" She doesn't date, but is very involved in church. She has her own phone, which she pays for, and also pays for gas. She's responsible in every way -- she just refuses to drive! HELP! -- TIRED OF BEING A TAXI MOM

DEAR TIRED: Your 20-year-old daughter is a smart cookie. Unlike you, she doesn't have to worry about car payments, insurance premiums or the cost of parking. As long as you agree to chauffeur her around, she isn't going to provide her own transportation. I suggest you encourage her to get a bicycle. And after four years, it's time for her to take the driver's test again.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married nine years and have two major issues in our marriage:

1. He feels I spend too much money.

2. I think he spends too much time away from home doing things he wants to do.

We have fallen into this cycle of him being away from home, so I spend money, which results in him spending more time away from home. Should we have separate bank accounts? Should I make him cancel some of his weekly activities? -- STRUGGLING IN ST. LOUIS

DEAR STRUGGLING: Separate bank accounts might be a good idea, provided you don't use yours to mask the fact that you're spending more than you should. As to "making" your husband cancel some of his weekly activities, I don't think it would work to your benefit.

A better solution/investment would be for the two of you to talk this out in the office of a licensed marriage and family counselor, because it appears you're spending as a way to punish your husband for his absence, which is not only not constructive but destructive. Doing activities outside the home together might also be helpful.

DEAR ABBY: My former spouse, the father of our adult daughters, recently passed. He will be cremated. Although he did not remarry, I did. Our youngest daughter has made all the burial arrangements.

My ex and I did not communicate much after the divorce. What is my role as mother? Do I send flowers, greet attendees, as if we were still together? We were married almost 30 years. -- WHAT SHOULD I DO?

DEAR WHAT SHOULD I DO: Your role as the mother is to support your daughters and the rest of the family. If your daughters want you there, be there for them. Greet anyone you know politely and thank them for being there for "the family." If you wish to send flowers, by all means do so. But beyond that, nothing more is required of you.

DEAR ABBY: I believe that love conquers all. The worldwide coronavirus is teaching us we are all one in body, but not yet in spirit. Every day may not be good, but there is good in every day. Don't count the days -- make the days count by throwing a kiss, sharing a smile with others, and waving a hand of greeting to them.

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Drink a refreshing glass of lemonade and make a toast: "To our health, God willing. Never give up!" And remember, the best medicine is a dose of laughter.

As President Kennedy said, our most common link is that, "We all inhabit this small planet. We all breathe the same air. We all cherish our children's future, and we are all mortal."

Abby, won't you ask your readers to pause daily to reflect, think positively and affirm the conviction that we as a nation will overcome this challenge as we have so many others before? Be agents for globalizing hope. Do good for others. The greatest joy in life comes from giving.

Sending love and hope to all. -- CARMELLA LaSPADA, FOUNDER, NO GREATER LOVE, INC.

DEAR CARMELLA: I could not agree more. Readers have been asking me how to cope with the changed reality of everyday life since the COVID-19 virus struck this country. Reaching out to help someone else is a potent remedy for anyone who is experiencing the blues and cabin fever. Even if you can't be supportive in person, a phone call, a text, a post with an uplifting message or a joke can lighten the mood of someone who is feeling isolated. I am glad you wrote, Carmella, and I hope your message will resonate.

DEAR ABBY: I have encountered an "over-hugger." I have always hugged, but I take care to respect how others feel about it. This person does not extend that courtesy. His typical hug involves picking the recipient up off the ground. It's invasive, in my opinion. The last time I saw him, I offered my hand. Instead of taking it, he yanked me in and said, "We give hugs here!" I know he wants to show affection, but he puts his own needs before the needs of others.

I want to tell him not to hug me anymore. However, it's complicated because we are part of a loose-knit athletic community.

First, is it odd of me not to want his hugs? Second, how do you recommend I send the message that a handshake is the most I want? -- NO BEAR HUGS

DEAR NO BEAR HUGS: Pandemic notwithstanding, in general terms, I agree that what this person is doing is over the top. If he were to yank and lift someone who has back issues, he could harm the person.

My first thought would be to tell this man privately that you don't want him lifting you. If you can't take him aside and do that, then call him or write him a letter.

DEAR ABBY: Am I wrong not to want to attend a baby shower because my significant other's daughter doesn't give me the time of day? I have been with her father for 10 years now, and not once has this girl ever asked me to go shopping, have lunch or anything. I have turned the other cheek when it came to family functions on my man's side of the family, but she refuses to participate in anything I have. What to do? -- SHOWER SHOULD OR SHOULDN'T

DEAR S.S.O.S.: In all this time, have you ever asked his daughter to go shopping with you, have lunch or anything else? Did you receive an invitation to that shower? If you did, it provides a glimmer of hope that you can have some kind of relationship. If you don't go, the ice will grow thicker, and it would be a mistake to let that happen.

DEAR ABBY: I have an etiquette question. I'm planning an evening family celebration for our company. The question of dress code has been asked multiple times. I find it perplexing that people are asking. Unless otherwise specified -- i.e. black tie, semiformal, business casual or jacket required -- shouldn't it be assumed that pretty much anything goes?

For this party, I expect people to show up in anything from cut-off shorts to cocktail dresses. I didn't think a dress code was a detail that needed addressing. Am I wrong? -- NO PAJAMAS, PLEASE

DEAR NO PAJAMAS, PLEASE: You are being asked because there is confusion. Clearly it IS a detail that needs addressing, and as a considerate host, you should clarify what you expect your guests to wear.

DEAR ABBY: I have an etiquette question. I'm planning an evening family celebration for our company. The question of dress code has been asked multiple times. I find it perplexing that people are asking. Unless otherwise specified -- i.e. black tie, semiformal, business casual or jacket required -- shouldn't it be assumed that pretty much anything goes?

For this party, I expect people to show up in anything from cut-off shorts to cocktail dresses. I didn't think a dress code was a detail that needed addressing. Am I wrong? -- NO PAJAMAS, PLEASE

DEAR NO PAJAMAS, PLEASE: You are being asked because there is confusion. Clearly it IS a detail that needs addressing, and as a considerate host, you should clarify what you expect your guests to wear.

DEAR ABBY: Widowed after 65 years of a superb marriage, it was my difficult task to begin clearing our closet of my wife's vast array of clothing and shoes. After a few trips to thrift stores, the next task was what to do with her jewelry. I came across a small black felt bag neatly tied with a small bow. Inside were her wedding band and diamond engagement ring. I set them aside.

On the date of our next anniversary, I asked a jeweler to combine my band with her rings. It took a month to complete, and some gold was added. The result was a magnificent piece with the small, but many-faceted stone inset. It cost me nearly $1,000, but I haven't regretted it for one moment. My advice to others: Consider it. Don't hesitate. (I'm twisting the ring as I write this.) -- RING OF TRUTH IN TEXAS

DEAR RING: Please accept my sympathy for the loss of your dearly beloved wife. How fortunate you were to have her for 65 years. I'm pleased that wearing the combined symbols of your commitment to each other brings you comfort and pleasure. Thank you for suggesting this to my readers.