DEAR ABBY: I have had a serious boyfriend for six months. He's wonderful, a dream come true. But I find myself more depressed and suicidal than ever. Mom tells me I don't have any reason to be depressed since I have a boyfriend. It's like she thinks I have no right to still be despondent over my twin's death because I now have a significant other.

My eating disorder and self-harm have gotten worse, too. I feel like I'm holding in so much sadness I'm not allowed to show that I'm turning it all inward in self-destructive ways. Although I love my boyfriend, I almost feel like breaking up just so everyone won't expect me to be Pollyanna anymore. The third anniversary of my twin's suicide is coming, which is making everything more unbearable. I just don't know what to do. I just want to disappear. -- THINGS AREN'T OK

DEAR THINGS: If your mother truly believes a death in the family (particularly a twin!) is something that can be "fixed" by having a boyfriend, she is deluding herself. You need professional help and right away. There are support groups for survivors of a family member's suicide, and you are three years overdue for finding one. I urge you to contact the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. Someone there can help you to locate a support group for the survivors of a loved one's suicide. To find them, go online to afsp.org.

If you are feeling suicidal, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline and tell a counselor about what's going on. If you do, you can be directed to a licensed therapist in your community who can help. The toll-free number to call is 800-273-8255. Please do not put it off.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter and I have been estranged on and off for many years, most recently for the last 22 months. At that time, she angrily took her 8-year-old daughter and left our home, where she had been living since another eviction. She said she was going to tell everyone I kicked her out. Then she blocked me on Facebook, removed my access to my granddaughter's classroom progress reports and my name from the school emergency card. I had no idea where they went. My poor granddaughter was in tears. She had been upset moving back in with us again, and told me she wished her mom would get a job so they could stay in one place for real.

After no contact, I have been told my daughter is being married. "Save the date" cards have gone out. I have no desire or intention of going to a wedding of someone who has spent half her life being cruel to me, lying, ignoring me, being jealous at her sister's wedding and so on, with never an apology for her horrible behavior. She's a Jekyll and Hyde.

We live in the same community, and I do all I can to avoid seeing her. I'm happy for her and delighted my granddaughter will finally have a bedroom of her own, but I have no intention of playing happy family to someone who regularly sharpens knives in my back. How do I answer any inquiries that may come up about the wedding? -- CAN'T TAKE ANY MORE

DEAR CAN'T: Do not engage in a litany of complaints and accusations. You can get the message across to anyone who asks about the wedding by saying that you are not involved in the planning of the wedding and questions should be directed to your daughter. You do not have to discuss it further. It's short and sweet and gets the message across.

DEAR ABBY: I coordinated and paid for a 70th birthday party for my terminally ill husband. Fourteen people were invited, and seven of them were related to my only sister, "Carla."

During the dinner, her husband was rude to the waitress and at the end of the party was screaming and yelling at Carla over the valet parking ticket. As they left the restaurant, he shoved her. He then got in their car and left my sister and her stepdaughters (from a previous marriage) standing there. They had to order a rideshare to get home.

I texted her later to be sure she and the girls had arrived safely. She said yes and told me she would talk to me the next day. When I didn't hear from her, I followed up. The next time we talked, she acted like nothing had happened! When I pursued the discussion and asked what prompted his strange behavior, she said, "I don't know what to tell you." I said, "You don't know?" and she replied, "I didn't say that. I said I don't know what to tell you."

After a lengthy discussion, I told her that unless we had some assurance that the incident wouldn't be repeated, we didn't want to see her husband again. She said it wouldn't be a problem. I have invited her to numerous family events, and she comes solo, but now she is blaming me for "tearing the family apart." What can I do now, if anything? -- IN A MESS IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR IN A MESS: Your sister is apparently married to an abuser with a short fuse and has resigned herself to it. She has my sympathy, but she should not blame you for any of it. She could really use some help from a support group for abused partners, because things will not get better. If you prefer not to see her horror of a husband, stand your ground and do not allow yourself to be guilted or coerced into it. He owes all of you an apology.

DEAR ABBY: I am engaged to a wonderful, sweet, hard-working 30-year-old man. We get along well and make each other happy. The trouble is how he comes across to others. He is so eager to be friends that he opens up much too quickly, revealing and venting about things like his work problems. It makes people uncomfortable.

He has been called out on it several times by various people (some even straight-up called him "creepy"), and he will stop for a while. But he falls into the same pattern the next time he meets somebody new. This whole thing is made worse by his anxiety; when someone calls him out on this behavior, he experiences crippling panic attacks. They cause him to apologize profusely, which only exacerbates the problem.

He refuses to seek therapy or treatment for his anxiety. I am at a loss about how to help him, other than listen to his troubles and offer support when I can. What should I do? -- CHALLENGED FIANCEE

DEAR FIANCEE: Your fiance may be a great guy, but unless you want to spend your life with a partner who refuses to get help for his emotional problems and doesn't seem to learn from his mistakes, it may be time to step back and reevaluate this relationship. Much as you would like to, you can't fix what's wrong with him. Only he can do that. If you marry him, the chances are you will wind up as socially isolated as he is. What a shame.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 16 and have had trouble with romance for as long as I can remember. I've had almost 80 crushes since kindergarten. I counted.

Right now I am close to a relationship with a boy at my school who is a year older. I have had feelings for "Ben" for almost a year, and I found it was mutual a few months ago. He invited me to coffee but later canceled, explaining that he wasn't emotionally prepared, which was clear. He feels the way he does for a reason. Ben is a transgender male, and his mother disapproves, as do many of our classmates.

Two months ago, we agreed to be "just friends ... for now." Since then, no feelings have changed for either of us. However, I know Ben still isn't ready, largely because of his mother's and his classmates' influence.

I'm getting impatient. I've been in relationships before, the middle-school kind, and I know how my brain functions. Right now, I worry obsessively about how he feels. This will subside after a real relationship starts. But before that happens, the issue is all-consuming. I constantly rehash concerns we need to talk about in my mind, and I don't know how to ignore them until we can speak again. It makes my grades suffer.

I blame Ben's mother and classmates for the stress he's under. They're the reason for his dysphoria and panic attacks. I'm angry. I want her to leave her son alone. How can I wait peacefully and get over my bitterness toward his mother? -- CRUSHING TEEN IN OHIO

DEAR TEEN: Anger, frustration and bitterness can make people sick. You need to find ways to get your mind off this budding romance and channel these negative emotions, if only because Ben isn't ready for what you have in mind. Bear in mind that he is on a long and complicated journey. (Give him props for honesty.) Then buckle down and concentrate on your schoolwork, find a sport or other activity you can involve yourself in and, if your school doesn't have a Genders and Sexualities Alliance, consider going online to gsanetwork.org and starting one at your school.

DEAR ABBY: I work in the medical field in a family practice. I love my job and helping people, but the problem is, my boss never tells the truth to our patients and overcharges them anytime he gets a chance. The sicker the patient, the more heartless he is with them. He has told some patients that we, the assistants, told him they owe him money.

It has reached a point where I cannot handle it anymore. Knowing that I see everything he does, he now can't stand me and constantly criticizes everything I do. He has become verbally aggressive and abusive.

I know this is unhealthy for me. I have insomnia because of it, and when I do get to sleep, I have nightmares about this situation. Abby, please help me because I do not know what service to contact to make a complaint against him. -- SCARED IN GEORGIA

DEAR SCARED: Document everything you have observed. Then talk to your local police about possible fraud being committed by your employer. Next, contact your state medical board and report what has been going on at the expense of the patients. If these patients are senior citizens, reach out to your Area Agency on Aging (aging.georgia.gov/locations), because the "good doctor" may be committing elder abuse, which could land him in the prison system.