DEAR ABBY: My son is engaged to a young woman I'll call Carla. They are currently living with my husband and me to save money and pay off bills. They fight often. Because of this, my husband and I were not excited when they flippantly announced their engagement and also flippantly announced their wedding date recently. I just said, "That's nice" or "congratulations."
I know this is not my relationship, and they are adults, but should I explain why we cannot get excited about it? I don't dislike Carla, and I would be truly OK if they could make each other happy most of the time. But because of their arguing and unresolved issues, I do not have confidence in their relationship.
I think they may ask us for money to help with wedding expenses, and unfortunately, I feel it would be throwing money away. How awful is that? I don't want to create hard feelings if they can make this work. Advice? --- UNENTHUSED MOM IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR MOM: If you are asked to chip in for the wedding expenses, consider making it conditional. Tell your son and Carla that you are deeply concerned because of the amount of fighting you see they do, and if they will agree to premarital counseling, you will be glad to help them.