DEAR ABBY: I have never been in love before, and I have just learned the man I'm seeing is a former felon. It was nothing having to do with sexual violence or killing anyone. I'm afraid if my family finds out, they will judge him. He works seven days a week and lives in a shelter because most places don't want to rent to felons. He treats me good and takes me out for dinners.

Maybe I'm stupid for not being judgmental, but he's a good person who has served his time for his crimes, and he's still being punished. Are people like him not allowed to be in love and have families too? -- IN LOVE IN NEBRASKA

DEAR IN LOVE: People make mistakes. People "like him" also fall in love, marry and have families. While there is bias against individuals with prison records, the fact that they served time does not guarantee they can't go on to live successful lives after their release. Explain that to your family, and suggest they take the time to get to know him before jumping to conclusions and making any final judgments.

DEAR ABBY: I've always been sensitive, but it has gotten worse since I became a mom a year ago. I dread watching or reading the news for fear of seeing a child, parent or animal has been hurt or mistreated. I'm a religious person, and I find myself asking God why bad things happen.

I know the tragic stories tend to make the headlines, but how would you suggest I learn to still see the good in the world? I can't quit seeing the news. We are inundated. I just wish the negativity of the world didn't get to me like it does. Advice, Abby? -- SUPER SENSITIVE IN KENTUCKY

DEAR SUPER SENSITIVE: That you have recently become a mother and are responsible for a helpless little person may have something to do with your feelings. But please don't judge the whole world or the people in it by the horror stories featured in the headlines, because they are misleading. Many people do positive things to help their neighbors and their communities that don't make the news. Consequently, we hear less about them.

I combat feelings like those you are experiencing by taking a "vacation" from reading or watching the news for a few days or a week when I think it is affecting me emotionally. I suggest you try it. Also, while your schedule as a new mother may be a busy one, if you can make the time, consider volunteering at your local library or a senior citizens' center. If you do, it may help you feel less helpless, knowing you are not only doing something positive but also making a significant difference in someone else's life.

DEAR ABBY: I have been retired for a little more than a year, and I enjoy it, except for one problem. My husband seems to think that since I'm home, I should be constantly busy -- cleaning, cooking, doing something. He accuses me of being lazy. I think he may be jealous that I don't work anymore. What do you think? -- RETIREE IN GEORGIA

DEAR RETIREE: I think you may have hit the nail on the head. Things might improve if you tell him less often how much you're enjoying it.

DEAR ABBY: My 15-year-old granddaughter has lived for the past several years in an environment with adults who have done drugs, can't or won't keep a job and are in and out of jail. I want her to have a better life, and I try to explain what a responsible adult life looks like. But when I do, she accuses me of being judgmental and nonaccepting because these people are "nice." How can I get her to understand that the lifestyle she's exposed to isn't good without coming off as judgmental? -- AT A LOSS FOR WORDS

DEAR AT A LOSS: The lessons we teach others don't always have to be verbal. One way would be to expose your granddaughter -- as often as possible -- to people who have chosen a different way of life and are reaping the rewards for it. Perhaps then she will begin to draw her own conclusions and realize that she can have a different life if she's willing to work toward it.

DEAR ABBY: My ex-fiance decided to leave our relationship and our 10-month-old son, "Nicky," about a month ago. He sees Nicky regularly and is a good father. I know our relationship is over and that it's not going to be fixed. To be honest, when he left, I was relieved.

The other day, I suggested to my ex that maybe once a month we take our son out together to do something, like go to the park or the zoo. My reasoning is that Nicky needs to know that even though his mom and dad are no longer together, we can still get along. His response was he didn't think it was a good idea. He doesn't want our son to get the wrong impression. I just said "OK" and left it alone.

Is he right? Would it confuse our son, or is he being selfish? It seems unrealistic to me that we will never do anything together. My son is my No. 1 priority, and I just want to handle it the best that I can for him. Please help me. -- CONFUSED IN SANTA MARIA, CALIF.

DEAR CONFUSED: Your ex may have said what he did because he doesn't understand that you have accepted that the romance is really over. Don't accuse him of being selfish. Be patient. In the future, Nicky will understand that, although Mom and Dad are not together, they get along, if you truly DO get along. As Nicky grows older, there will be events such as birthdays, sporting events, graduations, etc., you will probably wind up enjoying together -- or eventually with significant others or spouses included.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 13-year-old dancer, and I recently had a recital. The mothers came backstage to help their children change in the dressing rooms.

A girl my age who has two lesbian mothers was near me while I changed. It made me feel self-conscious. I'm normally not like this, but it felt awkward, to say the least. I'm not against same-sex couples, but it felt weird. Am I overreacting? -- MIDWEST DANCER

DEAR MIDWEST DANCER: I think so. Those two mothers were more interested in what was going on with their daughter than with you. If you plan to become a professional dancer -- or part of any branch of the performing arts -- you will be changing costumes under all kinds of conditions. This means you will be around straight males and females, gay people of both genders and, occasionally, trans people. It's a fact of life because separate dressing rooms may not be available.

DEAR ABBY: My niece on my husband's side was engaged to be married two years ago. There was a bridal shower, and everyone gave gifts or gift cards. Two weeks after the shower, the wedding was canceled because of the groom-to-be's infidelities. The shower gifts and gift cards were never returned nor was anyone reimbursed.

The same niece is getting married to someone else now. Another shower is being given for her. Everyone on her side of the family is invited. Are we required to give gifts again? Can we attend the shower and not give a gift? Should we all just not attend? Please help. -- ALREADY GAVE ONCE

DEAR ALREADY GAVE: Any unopened gifts from the first shower should have been returned to the givers. Because they weren't, you are not "obligated" to give the bride another gift. However, if you plan to attend this shower, in my opinion, you should not go empty-handed.

DEAR ABBY: Last week, I was in my college's cafe, minding my own business and studying for a test. I looked toward a group of guys that hang out there and made eye contact with a guy friend I've known since preschool. He made his way to my table, sat down and we started talking about classes and whatnot. Suddenly, he changed the subject and asked me if I was seeing anyone. I said no, and he blurted out that he's in love with me! He said he has loved me for a very long time, that I am perfect in his eyes, and that I'm too harsh and doubt myself. Then he said he wants me to give him a chance.

The thing is, I don't like him that way and never have. He's not the type of guy I'm attracted to. How do I go about rejecting him without losing him as a friend? -- FRIEND ZONE IN WASHINGTON STATE

DEAR FRIEND ZONE: Tell him the truth -- that you like him, too, but only as a friend, and hope he will find someone soon who can reciprocate his romantic feelings. He may not like the message, but he will respect you for your honesty and for not wasting his time.

DEAR ABBY: I have many older friends, and when we go out for lunch or dinner, all they talk about is their aches and pains and other medical stuff. I will always be their friend and support them, but sometimes it's such a downer, they even get depressed listening to each other.

What's the best way to change the conversation to happy subjects while being sensitive at the same time? -- HAPPY SUBJECTS ONLY

DEAR HAPPY: Older people sometimes dwell on their aches, pains and other medical stuff because they have little else to occupy their minds. If you are sensitive, you will listen sympathetically for a period of time, then propose you all change the subject to something more upbeat -- and suggest something.