DEAR ABBY: I don't know how to handle this. My husband of 29 years spends more time with his sister and her family than he does with me and our children. If I say anything about it, he jumps all over me, defending her. He says she doesn't have anyone to help her. But Abby, she has two grown sons and a husband she recently decided to divorce.

I think his relationship with his sister is weird, and other people have said they think so, too. One person even called it creepy. When I told my husband I thought it was a weird relationship, he yelled at me. I can no longer talk about his sister with him; it's off limits. Please help. -- ONLY THE WIFE

DEAR ONLY THE WIFE: Has your husband always been close to this sister? It may be the reason he is spending time with her. I'm sure she wouldn't be divorcing her husband if the marriage had been a bed of roses, and she may need private time with her brother to help her detoxify.

That said, that he spends more time with his sister than with you and the children is unusual. It makes me wonder about the state of your own marriage. If there is stress and tension the two of you can't resolve together, you may need to consult a licensed marriage and family therapist.

DEAR ABBY: Our 47-year-old son remarried two years ago. We have a 15-year-old grandson from his previous marriage who lives with his mom and who visits his dad every other weekend. We are not close with our new in-laws, who live out of state.

We recently found out that they have purchased a second home very close to our son. The problem is, the home is located within a nudist colony and, therefore, we assume they are in fact nudists. Should this be a problem for us (we are both 70), or should we not be concerned? -- WONDERING IN THE SOUTH

DEAR WONDERING: I don't think there is anything to be worried about. If you are concerned that your grandson will "see" something shocking, please know that he can find whatever he is curious about on his computer or cellphone. However, if you are worried that either of you will be forced to view or participate in nude activities when you visit your son, all you have to say is, "I think we'll stay at a nearby hotel, thank you."

DEAR ABBY: I recently attended a wedding and was videotaped while I was dancing. I was shown the tape later at a family gathering. I'm not a great dancer, and I looked silly, so I asked that the video be deleted. Instead, it was passed around and everyone laughed and made fun of me. It was embarrassing and hurtful.

My husband says I'm overreacting. Am I? I said nothing and don't intend to, but I can't get it out of my mind. -- DANCING FOOL IN OHIO

DEAR DANCING FOOL: Your feelings are your feelings. Nobody wants to be made fun of. But you have two choices: The first is to continue to stew about it. The second is to join in the laughter, admit you don't dance like a gazelle -- few people do -- and let it go. If you downplay it, it will go away.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married to a wonderful man for 33 years. He doesn't drink or smoke and has never used pot or drugs. We have the best time together, love each other and enjoy our life together.

The trouble is his family. He's the youngest, and they treat him like an outsider. Whenever we get together, his mother often tells him he was a "surprise" baby, and his siblings treat him like an interloper.

I have been wanting to limit our contact with his family, and my husband, who has been loyal to them even though they treat him this way, is finally coming around. I don't want to be rude, but his family will never change their ways. What's the most polite way of distancing ourselves without hurting anyone? -- OUTSIDER'S WIFE

DEAR WIFE: The "polite way" is to tell the relatives you can't see them because you have a schedule conflict, a previous commitment, a trip planned, a sick pet, or think you may be coming down with something contagious and don't want to give it to them. The better way would be for you and your husband to tell them you don't like the way they treat him and if it continues, they will see much less of both of you.

DEAR ABBY: I have been at my current job just over a year, and I really enjoy it. My co-workers and I get along, and it is a great job for my skill set.

When I was interviewing for the position, I made a point of saying that I am not the type of person who will leave after a short while because it's a problem employers face where I live. Recently, however, I have been asked to help my father run his business. He's not a young man, and he genuinely needs the help I can provide.

I'm torn. Should I put my family first, or keep my promise not to leave this job after such a short time? -- TORN IN COLORADO

DEAR TORN: I think you already know what you must do. Talk to your boss, explain the situation and apologize. Then give enough notice that a replacement can be found so you are not leaving your employer in the lurch.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I recently lost our beloved pet of 12 years, "Bootsy." He was our first "fur baby." His death was very sudden, and we are devastated. We don't have children; it was as if he was our firstborn. What can we do to get through the death of our beloved dog-child? -- SUFFERING IN THE SOUTH

DEAR SUFFERING: I am sorry for your loss. An unfortunate aspect of being emotionally invested in a pet is the reality that they have much shorter lifespans than humans do. Start the healing process by reminding each other that you gave Bootsy the best life possible. Consider making a contribution in his name to an animal rescue organization. Then contact the veterinarian who cared for Bootsy about joining a grief support group to help you through this time of bereavement.

DEAR ABBY: I'm responding to the Oct. 25 letter from "Maria in California" regarding the leftover money in her late husband's GoFundMe account.

If more than enough is contributed to help someone in need pay their medical expenses, that money is not intended to be "income" for the recipient's family. You rightly suggested considering her husband's wishes, but the contributors' intent was to help a needy person pay medical expenses. Any leftover funds should be donated to a nonprofit organization with similar goals, perhaps a free medical clinic for low-income patients or an organization that provides free or reduced-cost housing for families who travel to medical centers for a loved one's treatment. Family members should not profit from generous donors who intended to help pay a needy individual's medical bills. -- GLEN IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR GLEN: Thank you for your comment. Other readers disagreed with my answer and said that Maria and her family should "pay it forward." Read on:

DEAR ABBY: Regarding which family member is "entitled" to the leftover funds from Maria's terminally ill husband's GoFundMe account: I say none of them. People donated money to help defray the costs of treating the husband's illness. Now those have been paid, it is unseemly (a money grab) and unethical (fraud) to assume remaining funds can be used by either the widow or the daughter. The money wasn't given to them!

The solution is to donate the remaining funds to the disease research, hospice, medical facility, or any other cause near and dear to the deceased's heart. That way, there is no conflict of interest, no impropriety, and it's the right thing to do. -- MO IN SAN DIEGO

DEAR ABBY: "Maria in California" asked what to do with leftover money raised on GoFundMe for her husband who has passed away. I would have suggested she go back to the GoFundMe site and find some other families in need and donate the money to them. -- MARION IN UTAH

DEAR ABBY: My fiance and I have been together for four years. I love him very much, but there are times when he lectures me, and I get tired of it. Then about an hour later -- maybe sooner -- he will come and say, "I'm sorry." I'm getting frustrated because he's always "sorry." There are times I just roll my eyes and wait. What can I do or say when he comes back to apologize when he always makes it my fault? -- FRUSTRATED IN SOUTH CAROLINA

DEAR FRUSTRATED: What is going on is a red flag, and you should recognize it as such. That your fiance talks down to you, and then says he's sorry but it was your fault, isn't an apology. It's a lame excuse for his bad (verbally abusive) behavior. Please carefully examine what is really going on in your relationship before it begins to affect your self-esteem, and possibly rethink this engagement.