DEAR ABBY: I'm a 25-year-old female currently serving a nine-year prison sentence. It is the first time I have ever been in trouble (wrong place, wrong time). My boyfriend is 24. We've been together 2 1/2 years and have had our ups and downs (mostly ups). I am truly in love with him, and he tells me he will always be there for me.

I have been in prison for five months so far, and he hasn't missed a visit or a phone call. He also makes sure I have money on my books.

I'm worried that somewhere down the road, since we're so young, he will meet someone and move on. In a way, I would kind of understand -- I don't want his life to stop because mine has. But I also don't want to lose him. How do I keep our relationship strong, or should I let him go? -- LOCKED UP IN DELAWARE

DEAR LOCKED UP: Nine years is a long time, and sometimes life happens in the interim. I can't predict what will happen, and you shouldn't either. Take things a day at a time. Keep the lines of communication open and honest.

Because things are going well, do not "let him go." If the romance ends, so be it. But if it does, appreciate that he seems to be a staunch friend and ally.

DEAR ABBY: I love my wife. We have been married for 38 years. However, she does something that drives me crazy.

I have a hard time going to sleep at night, and if I'm disturbed in those first few minutes of sleep, I'm up all night. We both agreed that when we say "goodnight," it means no more talking or loud noises. But almost every night after saying "goodnight," she wakes me up with something she HAS to say or explore. If it was an emergency, I wouldn't mind, but it's usually something of no consequence that could wait until morning.

I have tried ignoring her, pretending to be asleep, saying "goodnight again" in a rough tone of voice and getting angry. Nothing seems to work. I would appreciate some advice for dealing with this. -- SLEEPLESS IN TEXAS

DEAR SLEEPLESS: A solid night's sleep is crucial for good health. Tell your wife to keep a notepad by the side of the bed and jot down what she wants to discuss the next morning. However, if she persists in awakening you, get up and go into another room. And continue doing it until your wife agrees to show more consideration.

DEAR ABBY: I have known my friend "Midge" for more than 60 years. We live in different states now, but keep in touch online. While our views are polar opposites on just about everything, we have remained friends.

Over the last year, it seems Midge has reverted to being a wild teenager. She is smoking pot, got tattooed and is doing a lot of partying. Recently, she posted a very lengthy missive, including dozens of pictures, about how much she misses her ex-boyfriend. Abby, they broke up 10 years ago! I asked her sister about her bizarre behavior and was told, "Oh, that's just Midge." Is it time to let go of the friendship? -- NOT THE SAME IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR NOT THE SAME: Assuming that pot is legal in the state where Midge resides, she's doing nothing illegal, immoral or that will get her pregnant out of wedlock. Because you're concerned about her, call Midge to hear how she is. Sometimes an abrupt change in personality can be a symptom of a physical or mental health issue.

DEAR ABBY: My brother- and sister-in-law were trying to have a baby using artificial insemination. A few months into the very difficult pregnancy, they were told the baby had many life-threatening defects and asked if they wanted to terminate because the baby had little, if any, chance of surviving. They chose to carry the baby to natural birth.

A month or so before she was due, she went into labor. The baby lived for only a few hours. They had a funeral, and it was a very sad event. A month later, on the due date, they started organizing a birthday party for their 10-year-old daughter and invited 30 to 40 people, young and old. They contacted my son and daughter-in-law, who had been pregnant at the same time and had given birth to a healthy baby, and asked them not to bring their newborn. Other babies a year old or older are invited.

How should we respond? Leave the baby and my daughter-in-law at home, or refuse the invitation? Was it proper for my brother-in-law and his wife to throw a party and unwelcome a newborn? -- LOST IN ETIQUETTE

DEAR LOST: Your brother-in-law and his family are in mourning. They have my deepest sympathy. If they felt it would be too painful after their loss to host a tiny baby at the birthday party, they should not be criticized. Your daughter-in-law should graciously refuse the invitation, saying she is sorry she will be unable to attend, and send a gift for the daughter.

DEAR ABBY: What do you think of barbers or beauticians who take phone calls and continue to talk to the callers while doing a client's hair? I haven't said anything because I don't want an angry person cutting my hair. It's almost like having a doctor talk on the phone while doing surgery. What do you think? -- HAIR-RAISING IN ILLINOIS

DEAR HAIR-RAISING: A short conversation to book an appointment is one thing, but what you have described is just plain rude. The first time the beautician did it you should have spoken up. Because you didn't, she/he thinks you don't mind.

Hairdressing is a service business, and the client in the chair should take priority. If you are really afraid your stylist would butcher your haircut in retaliation if you complain (talk about passive aggressive!), find someone else to provide this service.

DEAR ABBY: I have been a widow for three years. Sixteen years ago, my husband and I built a modest -- but nice -- home and worked very hard to pay off the mortgage early. I am constantly asked if I am going to stay in my home or if I plan to sell it. I have no intention of moving at this time or in the near future, if at all. Is there a good answer to give people when they keep asking this question? Do they think I am not capable of living in a house by myself? Any suggestions will be appreciated. -- HAPPY AT HOME

DEAR HAPPY: When someone asks that question, rather than become defensive, say, "Why do you ask?" Then let the person explain the reason behind it. Instead of implying that you are no longer capable of living alone, the questioner may be considering making an offer to buy it from you.

DEAR ABBY: My stepdaughter recently married a convicted rapist. She refuses to believe he raped an elderly woman even though there was corroborating DNA evidence. While he admitted his guilt in front of a judge and spent some time in jail, the conviction was later overturned, after which he denied his culpability.

My stepdaughter has two young children from a prior marriage and she's now pregnant with his child. They live in another state. I am a rape survivor. I am absolutely adamant that this man is not welcome in my home.

I do not want to negatively affect my husband's relationship with his daughter, but her decision to become a family with this individual has been difficult for me. She's planning to visit, and I -- and others in our families -- have no idea what to even say to her. How do we handle social interactions? Please help. -- STAYING FIRM IN NEW MEXICO

DEAR STAYING FIRM: Because you do not want the husband under your roof, your husband should entertain them separately away from your home. If you have to see them, be warm and cordial to your stepdaughter and nonconfrontational to her husband. I advise the same for the other family members whom she plans to visit.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married for 35 years. For the last seven years, we have been separated. He treated me badly, and finally, I refused to take it, so I left him. I moved out, bought a car and bought a home, all on my own. I'm proud of myself.

We have tried marriage counseling, but I felt like we were just going through the motions. He has pressured me in the past about getting back together, but I know he will go right back to his old behavior.

My question is, when is it time to get a divorce? I'm confused about just being separated because it makes me feel I'm in limbo. -- IN-BETWEEN IN COLORADO

DEAR IN-BETWEEN: You ARE in limbo. You tried marriage counseling; it didn't help you trust that your husband wouldn't continue to abuse you. Call a lawyer. After seven years (!) of separation, the time to formally untie the knot is now.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married for 35 years. For the last seven years, we have been separated. He treated me badly, and finally, I refused to take it, so I left him. I moved out, bought a car and bought a home, all on my own. I'm proud of myself.

We have tried marriage counseling, but I felt like we were just going through the motions. He has pressured me in the past about getting back together, but I know he will go right back to his old behavior.

My question is, when is it time to get a divorce? I'm confused about just being separated because it makes me feel I'm in limbo. -- IN-BETWEEN IN COLORADO

DEAR IN-BETWEEN: You ARE in limbo. You tried marriage counseling; it didn't help you trust that your husband wouldn't continue to abuse you. Call a lawyer. After seven years (!) of separation, the time to formally untie the knot is now.