DEAR ABBY: My wife and I recently hosted some longtime friends for a few days while they were passing through our area on vacation. We had a fine time reconnecting, although my wife commented after they left that they seemed to have "slowed down a bit" -- to which I responded, "Yeah. Us, too, I guess."

We just received an email from that couple's adult daughter, with whom we're also friendly, asking about our perceptions of her parents' well-being. We are not comfortable responding to her very pointed questions about their eating habits, bedtimes, taking of medications, mental sharpness, etc. while they stayed with us. Is this kind of inquiry common today, or do these folks have "helicopter kids"? -- ANYWHERE, USA

DEAR ANYWHERE: If it's common, I'm unaware of it. It's the first question of this kind that I have received. Clearly, the daughter has noticed something going on with her parents that has her worried. Because "the kids" are so concerned about their parents' welfare that they feel compelled to ask these kinds of questions, perhaps they should travel with them so they can supervise.

If you choose to answer that email, an appropriate response would be, "I think we have all slowed down a little, but if you want to know what your folks ate (etc.) while they were with us, you should ask them."

DEAR ABBY: Years ago, a gentleman wrote to you asking what he should get his aged parents who didn't need another "thing." You suggested he write them a letter telling them why he was thankful for them. He wrote you back later telling you he had taken your advice, how much it meant to his father and that, shortly afterward, his father died.

I immediately wrote each of my parents a letter listing the things I learned from them and what I cherished about them. It was the perfect, most meaningful thing I could have done for them. They have since passed on. I am so thankful that I was able to do that for them.

I have read your column for about 35 years. It is always respectful and full of common sense. Thank you. -- GRATEFUL IN COEUR D'ALENE, IDAHO

DEAR GRATEFUL: You're welcome. I'm glad you picked up on the suggestion and that it made your parents happy. I can think of few people who would not welcome -- and treasure -- a love letter if it's sincere.

DEAR ABBY: I lost my hubby after 50 happy years, and yet I don't cry. What's wrong with me? -- GRIEVING IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR GRIEVING: There is nothing wrong with you. If your husband was ill for a period of time before his death, you may have had more than enough time to grieve his loss as he was slipping away. If his passing was sudden, you may be in shock, which is why your tears won't come. Not everyone grieves in the same way, drowning in an ocean of tears, so please do not judge yourself harshly -- or at all.

DEAR ABBY: I have been in a relationship for more than five years. My girlfriend and I will soon graduate from college. I have accepted a full-time job offer, and she will be going to grad school.

Almost certainly our relationship will have to be long-distance for a year or two, and she has given me an ultimatum. She says she doesn't want the stress of a long-distance relationship if it doesn't lead to anything in the future. I am torn. I like the status quo. I'm not sure if I want to propose and be locked into something without being 100% certain we are meant to be. What should I do? -- HESITANT IN THE HEARTLAND

DEAR HESITANT: I'm so glad you asked! Because you have been in a relationship for more than five years and are still not certain if this young woman is "The One," do her (and yourself) a favor and stop wasting her time. You both need to see others and gain more experience in the dating world before making a lifetime commitment. And don't worry about her. I'm sure she will do just fine.

DEAR ABBY: When my mother passed away three years ago, the financial burden fell on me. I asked my brother (who earns more than double what I do) to help and got no help from him. Since then, I have been paying her storage unit fee.

I asked my brother to pay half because half the stuff in this unit belongs to him and his family. I've never received a penny. He took it upon himself to go through the stuff and take what he wanted.

I have spent $900 on this unit. I feel the contents are mine as I have more than paid for it. I'm willing to go through it together, but I feel he was wrong to have done it without me. Am I wrong? Am I overreacting? How do I deal with this without causing problems? I am way beyond upset. --STUCK WITH STUFF IN MONTANA

DEAR STUCK: You are not wrong. Your brother should not have shouldered you out of the way to have first dibs on the contents in storage, and he should have been paying half the cost of the unit since her death. I am unsure what "problem" you are afraid of causing, because your brother appears to be the one causing the problem.

My inclination is to advise you that what is left in the unit is now yours to dispose of as you wish, but before doing that, you would be wise to consult an attorney. You should not be paying a monthly fee that is causing you financial stress.

DEAR ABBY: My mother-in-law has sent me a friend request on Facebook. It might sound simple, but we are not friends. We don't hang out. Even though we live in the same city, we see each other only at family events.

I have never been good enough for her "angelic" son, whom I have supported for more than 15 years. Why would she want to be my FB friend now? She isn't trying to make amends. She's just being nosey. This is a lose-lose situation. Must I allow it? -- TRAPPED IN HURRICANE COUNTRY

DEAR TRAPPED: You are no more trapped than you wish to be. Because someone sends a friend request does not mean that you are obligated to accept. My advice is to ignore it. Or, accept her invitation and use Facebook's timeline settings and the option to not "share" with her.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 49-year-old woman whose mother tries to make me feel guilty for having a good relationship with my father. I have an excellent relationship with her, but lately it feels strained because she gets mad if Dad and I do things together or even just talk on the phone. My goal is not to hurt her, but I refuse not to have a relationship with my dad just to appease her. Have you ever heard of a mother being jealous of her daughter's relationship with her father? -- CONFLICTED IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR CONFLICTED: Yes, I have. But you say you have an excellent relationship with your mother, and this behavior is recent. Do you call and interact individually with her the way you do with your father? If not, it might help to give her more attention than you have.

Is her relationship with your father the same as it always has been? If it isn't, because you and your father have extended, private phone conversations on a regular basis, she may fear you have supplanted her in his affections. However, if this isn't the case, and she demonstrates other personality changes, her physician should be notified so she can be evaluated.

DEAR ABBY: I have been trying to deal with this on my own for a long time. I have been "crushing" on a man of my faith for a couple of years, and it never seems to subside. We are both married to others, seemingly happily. I like his wife very much, and I would never want to hurt her.

I think he is a wonderful human being, and he has said as much to me. We would never entertain the idea of an affair. From my standpoint, I don't know what to do. Do you have any suggestions? I try to give my own husband lots of love. -- TORN BETWEEN TWO IN MONTANA

DEAR TORN: Do nothing about this crush. Continue giving your husband lots of love, attention and appreciation. Crushes are normal. Sometimes they serve as reminders that we are still alive. As long as they remain "unfertilized romances," they harm no one. You have a mutual admiration society because you both deserve it and have nothing to feel guilty about.

DEAR ABBY: Is there any way to stop charities from sending all of this "free stuff"? When I donate to charity, I intend for my contribution to be used to help someone in need. Instead, I am subjected to all kinds of things in my mailbox. I have received money, postage stamps, greeting cards, notepads and enough mailing labels to far outlast me!

I have now decided that any charity that sends me merchandise or any other "freebie" will be taken off my donation list. I hate to write bona fide charities off my list, but it has become ridiculous. -- WASTEFUL IN WASHINGTON

DEAR WASTEFUL: You are not the only person to complain about this. I receive many letters from equally frustrated readers about it.

Before donating to any charity, go online and check out charitynavigator.org. If you do, it will give you insight into where your money goes -- including how much of their revenue is spent on salaries and "overhead." Just because you receive notepads, mailing labels and calendars does NOT mean you are obligated to send money. Please remember that.