DEAR ABBY: I am a woman in my 50s who has been the family "screw-up" since I was a teenager. Eighteen months ago, I screwed up in the worst way possible. Without my husband's knowledge, I started robbing Peter to pay Paul with the bills. The end result: I lost us everything (home, vehicle, etc.).

He is a good man, and he deserved so much better than what I put him through. He has said he forgives me for everything, but my problem is that I can't forgive myself.

We are divorcing now, and I'm struggling to live my life without the man I love (and who still loves me). The divorce was pushed-for right after we lost everything. His adult son paid for it, so he hasn't dropped it. He says he doesn't want to make waves because he's living in his son's guest room. I had to move back in with my dad several states away.

We talk daily, but I am still incredibly depressed. I have found a job near where I live now, but I have no medical benefits, so therapy is out of the question (and so is everything else I need to take care of my health). I have worked with mental health patients my whole adult life, so I recognize the symptoms (I have to force myself to perform personal hygiene, I sleep whenever I'm not at work, etc.).

Abby, I don't know what to do anymore. There are days when I don't know why I bother continuing on. I feel like I don't deserve to live after what I did to my husband. There is no way I will ever be able to give him back everything I caused him to lose, and that knowledge haunts me every minute of every day. How does someone learn to forgive themselves? -- FOREVER THE SCREW-UP

DEAR FOREVER: There are options available for individuals who have little or no money and need help with their mental health. I researched what might be available in your community and found there is a university with a department of psychological services. Contact it and inquire if someone in that department might be able to help you. There is also the option of the County Department of Mental Health.

Once you are stable again, you can begin to work on forgiving yourself. The problem with being labeled a "screw-up" as a teenager is that once the idea is embedded, it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Start there.

DEAR ABBY: I have a grocery store etiquette question. I become really offended when I'm unloading my groceries onto the conveyor belt at checkout and -- before I'm finished -- another shopper comes up behind me and begins unloading hers. It leaves me not enough room to finish unloading mine! I think it's rude, and it baffles me that so many people do it. Is it impolite to tell them they are being rude? Or is it dangerous these days? -- GOING AS FAST AS I CAN

DEAR GOING: It wouldn't be impolite or dangerous to tell the person behind you that you haven't finished unloading your purchases and to please stop. I do, however, think you should suppress the urge to lecture the person about manners unless you're looking for an argument.

If this happens often, talk to the store manager about it. In some businesses there is a mark on the floor indicating where shoppers should stand while waiting for the person ahead to complete his or her purchase.

DEAR ABBY: I am 7 1/2 months pregnant, living with my fiance, his cousin, his cousin's girlfriend and her little brother, who she has custody of. (He will be 18 in a few months.) I do all the house cleaning and have for the last year and a half. I constantly pick up after them after work.

The cousin's girlfriend ("Queen Slob") is the worst of the bunch. She doesn't clean up after herself at all. She leaves a trail -- drops her purse on the table, doesn't throw away her trash and leaves dirty dishes everywhere. I have tried not picking up after Queen Slob and everyone else, but they are either so dumb or inconsiderate that they don't put two and two together and realize it's not magic and someone is cleaning up after them.

How do I nicely express that I'm fed up with being the only one who keeps the house clean without coming off like a crazy pregnant lady? I'm running out of energy. I have been trying to clean for my baby shower, but I'm getting nowhere because every time I clean something, I have to do it again the next day. I also can't get the house ready for the arrival of the baby. It's not going to be fair to my baby if Mommy has to clean up someone's mess before I feed him. Help, Abby! -- MAID IN NEVADA

DEAR MAID: You are right that once the baby arrives you won't be able to keep up what you have been doing. If you haven't expressed to your fiance what you have shared with me, it is long overdue. The two of you should convene a meeting of everyone who lives under that roof and set some house rules. If the cousin and his girlfriend won't cooperate, they should move.

As to your baby shower, if you have a close friend or relative nearby, it might be more practical to hold it in one of their homes.

DEAR ABBY: My 10-year-old son is behaviorally challenged and receives special education services at school. He is in the fourth grade.

Since the beginning of the school year he has been bullied by a girl in his class. She intentionally embarrasses him and makes fun of him in front of his classmates or when the teacher isn't looking. His reaction to her bullying gets him in trouble. Unfortunately, they don't see what she's doing that causes it. My son gets put into isolation at school, but seldom does she have any consequences for the bullying because she's discreet.

I have talked with his teacher, his counselor, special education coordinator, vice principal and the principal. Their only focus is my son's behavior/reaction. They don't address the issue of the girl bullying him. I tell him to ignore her, tell his teacher, tell the vice principal, but my advice has changed nothing. I don't know what to do. Please help me. -- STOP THE BULLYING

DEAR STOP THE BULLYING: If I were in your situation, first, I'd keep a record of these instances. Then I would try to talk to the girl's parents. If they were uncooperative, I'd then address my concerns to the school board in my community. And, if nothing changed, I would contact an attorney who specializes in cases of discrimination.

DEAR ABBY: I have been divorced for 26 years. I have been engaged a couple of times since, but never made it back to the altar. My ex-wife has now permanently separated from her second husband. I have helped her financially and emotionally through a couple of stressful situations in the interim due to her second husband.

I became available again myself about 18 months ago, so I have been considering inviting her to dinner to help her relax and give her someone to talk to other than family. The problem is, she still seems to regard me as "the enemy." She will speak to me, but it's just bare bones conversation. I have never stopped loving her. Should I ask her to dinner or just let things be? -- STILL LOVIN' MY EX

DEAR STILL LOVIN': I wish you had mentioned what destroyed your marriage 26 years ago. Whatever it was, because your ex still seems to regard you as "the enemy," in spite of the fact that you have helped her financially and emotionally, I don't think what you have in mind is feasible. Sometimes it's safer to love someone from a distance, and this may be one of them.

DEAR ABBY: We live in the downstairs apartment of an old Victorian house that has been converted into three separate apartments. We try to be good neighbors and do our part keeping up with our neighborly duties. However, lately we've been finding ourselves the only ones doing our part.

Every Sunday evening, we roll out the garbage, recycling and compost bins for the Monday morning pickup. Currently, there is only one other tenant living here, a man who has been here for more than a year. Not once has he bothered to roll out these carts that he uses as well. How should we handle this without coming off as nagging or rude? -- PEEVED IN PORTLAND, ORE.

DEAR PEEVED: Your neighbor isn't a mind reader. He may think you are doing this as part of your deal with the landlord. If you haven't discussed this with your neighbor, you should. If you do, you may be able to agree on some sort of schedule.

DEAR ABBY: I graduated from law school several years ago. I didn't pass the bar, and I now have a non-law-related job. I am fine with it, and I really do not aspire to be in the field of law. My parents didn't help me with law school tuition, nor am I saddled with debt.

My problem is, some family members -- and a few acquaintances -- seem to think me almost a novelty. I get comments such as, "Hey, how's that degree working for you?" and "Are you ever going to use your degree?" and "Do you regret going to law school?" I find it really annoying. How can I put a stop to it? -- NOT A LAWYER AND FINE

DEAR NOT A LAWYER: Tell these "curious" individuals that you do not regret going to law school because knowledge of the law is valuable when it's applied to other fields. As to how that degree is working for you, tell the questioner it's working so well you are now considering going for a degree in astrophysics.