DEAR ABBY: I am in a loving relationship with a kind and caring man, "Byron." He has a preteen son, "Eli," from a previous relationship. Eli stays with us several days a week, and I watch him while Byron goes to work. Byron and I would like to spend the rest of our lives together, but I'm uncertain if I can truly be a stepmother to his son.

Eli often yells at and hits his dad. He calls his dad stupid, among other things. He asks for expensive items during every visit, often refuses to bathe and won't eat anything other than fast food or pizza. If Byron has to say no to Eli because he doesn't have the money for something, Eli throws a temper tantrum worse than a 2-year-old.

I know the kid is capable of better behavior because he doesn't behave this way with his mother or grandmother. Byron doesn't discipline his son at all, which allows his rude and disrespectful behavior to continue. I worry about the boy's future. How will he hold a job if he acts this way toward a boss?

I like Eli very much. When he's in a good mood, he's the kindest child I can think of. But when his mood turns, it's like the dark side takes over. I love Byron. I would like to marry him. But I don't know if I can handle watching Eli be so disrespectful to his father. Sometimes it makes me feel like ending things. Please advise me on what to do. -- HESITANT "STEPMOM"

DEAR "STEPMOM": I hope you realize that Eli behaves the way he does because his father allows it. Byron may do this because he feels guilty about the divorce and is afraid his son will "hate" him if he asserts himself. Your gentleman friend really needs to take some parenting classes because his failure to act isn't good for Eli. Please suggest it.

DEAR ABBY: I'm surprised by how many people choose not to use headphones while talking on the phone, listening to music or watching videos in public places. Instead, they use the speaker option or their Bluetooth speakers for all to hear.

I travel frequently. It's bad enough to suffer through one side of the conversation, but hearing both is worse (and these folks talk at top volume and make no attempt to step out of earshot). Lately, I have also noticed people watching videos in restaurants.

At my apartment's pool, several neighbors do the same thing. Sometimes the music includes offensive language, which I find inappropriate at a family pool. I'm tempted to start competing with them with random videos and music, but I know that's wrong. Is there a reasonable way to handle these folks? -- BLASTED OUT IN ARIZONA

DEAR BLASTED: If you are in a restaurant, ask the manager to move you to a quieter table. If you are bothered at your apartment swimming pool, take your complaint to the manager of the complex so a sign can be posted asking tenants to keep the volume low on their devices or wear headphones. It's worth a try. Do not make the mistake of confronting them yourself.

P.S. Consider putting on headphones and listening to something of your choosing. It will drown out what you don't want to hear.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married to my husband for 17 years. After several years, I realized he had some depression issues. Ten years ago, after he was diagnosed with PTSD, he stopped working and has been at home ever since.

I work full time, pay the bills, take care of the kids, run the errands, drop the kids off at practice, clean the house, everything! He does nothing but sleep. He stays in bed for days on end and showers once a week. We haven't slept in the same room in five years.

I'm so lonely. I hate being married to him, and I'm not sure how his depression affects my kids. He takes medicine but refuses to see a therapist. I want to leave and have a life. I feel stuck in this marriage out of guilt. What do I do? -- HAD IT IN KENTUCKY

DEAR HAD IT: Make an appointment for yourself with a licensed mental health professional to discuss your situation and your guilt. Please do this before you have a mental or physical breakdown from the stress you are under.

While I sympathize with your husband's mental problems, the fact that he refuses to do all he can to fix them tells me it is time to take care of yourself -- for your children's sake -- because you are all they have. Because your husband's meds are not working, he should have mentioned that fact years ago to the doctor who has been prescribing them.

DEAR ABBY: For a friend's birthday, I sent a $150 food delivery gift card, saying to put it toward meals when I visited for three days the following week. He called, told me I was "cheap" and said it was not a "gift" if it included money that would be spent on myself.

We are new friends and have never exchanged gifts. Please help me understand if I was inappropriate. -- MEANT WELL IN UTAH

DEAR MEANT WELL: You made an honest mistake. However, what you did was less inappropriate than your new friend's ungracious response, which was just plain insulting. On the next gift-giving occasion -- if you are still friends -- send him a book on etiquette, just for him.

DEAR ABBY: I am planning a trip to visit my friend in England. I studied abroad two years ago, and I'm excited to go back to my old stomping grounds and reminisce.

I got very close to this friend while I was there, and we talk on Facebook every so often. Obviously, because of the distance, we aren't best friends, but we still consider ourselves "trans-Atlantic sisters."

I'm on a pretty tight budget and want to start planning for expenses. Would it be rude to ask her if I can stay with her? Or should I just ask for suggestions on places to stay and see if she offers? -- TRAVELER IN TEXAS

DEAR TRAVELER: While it wouldn't be rude to ask, I vote for the latter option and see if she suggests it. (She probably will.)

DEAR ABBY: I am a 34-year-old man who is somewhat socially awkward. I want to start dating and hopefully find that special someone. The problem is, I have an addiction. It's not to alcohol or drugs, but to online games.

I have been gaming since I was 18, shortly after I joined the military, and it has been the majority of my social interaction. I have avoided friends and family and spent thousands of dollars over the years on this "hobby." I have tried several times to quit. I succeed for a few months, but I always go back, thinking I can play just a little bit. I sincerely want to quit. I don't want to go on like this, but I don't know how to break this cycle.

Until I can sort this out, I don't think I should become involved with anyone else. I feel like if I don't do this now, this is what the rest of my life will be, and it's frightening. Counseling is out of the question because I would have to report it to my job, which could jeopardize my future employment. Is there any advice about how to fix this problem? -- LOST IN CYBERSPACE

DEAR LOST: I'm glad you have recognized that your gaming has become a problem and want to do something about it. That's the first step in fixing it.

Video games are the fastest-growing form of media entertainment. Because of the sophisticated technology involved, the games can be addictive, and the social aspects of them can make them a hard habit to break without professional help. Treatment may involve private counseling or even require inpatient care. However, if that is unworkable, On-Line Gamers Anonymous (olganon.org) may be a helpful alternative for you. It is a 12-step program based on the principles of AA. You may want to check it out.

DEAR ABBY: My dad recently passed away. It was unexpected. Many people have sent condolences, which was very thoughtful. My problem is, I'm an atheist, and many of them have said things like "He's in a better place now."

I don't mind the prayers accompanied with the condolences. I believe everyone's beliefs should be respected, and the prayers are heartfelt good wishes. I have a huge problem, however, with people basically telling me that Dad is better off dead than alive. That's preposterous! My father is better off here, laughing with his family, enjoying life and playing with his grandchildren.

How do I respond to those people without sounding snarky? I have been biting my tongue so I won't let them know how much it offends me, but I really think people should know that those words in particular are just horrible. -- GRIEVING DAUGHTER

DEAR GRIEVING: I'm printing your letter because you are not the first grieving family member to have shared those sentiments with me. But please understand that the subject of death makes many people very uncomfortable, and they don't know what the comforting thing to say is. Readers, it's sufficient to say, "I heard the sad news. I'm so very sorry for your loss." (Period.)