DEAR ABBY: We have a small house, and family and friends are always welcome. We also have six cats, and their care and comfort are paramount. We keep our cats separated so they don't fight, so two cats occupy what used to be our guest room. We have explained this to overnight guests, several of whom are allergic to cats or don't like them, and they insist "everything will be fine." They then refuse to let the cats into the room during the day, while our distressed feline family members howl and claw the door.

There are simple things that must be done when living with cats, like making sure they don't run outside (they are all indoor cats), keeping toilet lids down and breakable things out of their reach. Our guests don't seem to care and they don't comply. Frankly, I wouldn't care if the cats took their jewelry, but I would care if one of them choked on it.

Why is this so hard to understand? Our cats need care and consideration; they are not disposable furry houseplants. To be fair, we visit with these petless folks, so we can't ask them not to stay with us. I've even tried putting Post-it notes around the house, reminding guests to keep doors and toilet lids closed, etc. They reacted like they thought I was rude! How do we handle this politely so there are no hurt feelings? -- NEW ENGLAND CAT LOVER

DEAR CAT LOVER: It's time to end the tradition of staying in each other's homes. There will be fewer hurt feelings all the way around -- your pets included -- if, when you visit these folks you stay someplace other than in their home and suggest to them that they do likewise. This doesn't mean you won't see and entertain them -- it only means they won't be subject to your house rules, which clearly are not acceptable to them.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been having the roughest year of our marriage, and we are divorcing. He has started a new relationship with a woman who is 14 years younger than he is, and he takes our 5-year-old to her house. I feel it is inappropriate because who knows if this relationship will last?

My husband and I are still living together. He's in the basement; I'm upstairs. I don't think it's wise for him to take our child on picnics and play dates at her house. I have tried to have a conversation about boundaries and doing what's best for our daughter, and I don't know what his next move will be. Living with the young lady? What should I do next? -- MOVING ON

DEAR MOVING ON: There is a commonsense rule that parents who are divorcing should not introduce a child to the new partner until it's clear the relationship will be long-lasting. At this point, you can't control to whom your husband introduces your little girl. This is a conversation you should be having with the attorney who is arranging your divorce. If something presents a danger to your child, the lawyer may be able to help you put a stop to it.

DEAR ABBY: I have a friend on social media whose brother died by suicide several months ago. She was the one who found him. They were close, and I think he was her last immediate family member. She has posted openly about how horrible this experience has been and how sad she feels.

More recently, however, her posts have become increasingly bleak. She shares that she's having trouble sleeping and she is so sad and feels completely alone because she has no more family. She gets supportive comments from her Facebook "friends," but continues to sound hopeless. She has started posting that she's going to get off FB because all she can talk about is her brother and she knows everyone is sick of hearing about it. She writes that she does not think she will be here much longer.

I know that someone who hints at suicide should not be dismissed, especially given her experience with her brother's suicide. We went to school decades ago but were not close friends. I don't know her personally very well, and we live several hours apart. How can I help her if she really is thinking about suicide? It seems critical to me, but I don't know what I should do or how fast to act. -- CARING IN VIRGINIA

DEAR CARING: Contact your friend through messaging on Facebook, tell her you are concerned about her, and ask to talk with her. You are right to be concerned. Urge her to join a grief support group or talk with a mental health professional about her loss and feelings of depression and isolation. Give her the number for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-8255. If she calls the hotline, she may be able to get a referral there. You are being a good friend. Let's hope she takes our advice.

DEAR ABBY: I am a successful career woman in my 50s. My husband is in his 40s. We decided several years ago that he could stop working, as my income is enough for both of us. He runs our household and is invaluable to me, not only as manager of our household, but also because he looks after the affairs of both our aging parents. Our kids are grown, so there's no need for child care.

When we go to social functions, invariably he gets asked, "So, what do you do?" When we say he's retired, people look at him suspiciously. I suspect they think he's taking advantage of me, when that couldn't be further from the truth. There is no way I could be as successful in my career without his support. What would be a good response? I think it hurts his feelings, but he keeps it quiet. -- GOOD THING GOING OUT WEST

DEAR GOOD THING: Congratulations on having a partnership that is working so well. People often ask this question as a way of starting a conversation with someone they don't know. Your husband might answer it by saying, "I'm retired now, but I used to work in ----. What do YOU do?"

DEAR ABBY: I've been spending time with a certain gentleman for more than five years. I am in love with him. We dated at first, then became friends with benefits. He had another woman move in with him a few years ago, but we are still friends with benefits, and he has become my best friend. He listens when I need someone to talk to and knows how to give a good pep talk when I need one. We talk several hours a day and text throughout the day.

I know in my heart we are meant to be together. He tells me he loves me but says he can't ask the other woman to move out because she doesn't have anywhere to go until she makes the person living in her house move out. How do I talk to him about this? -- OTHER WOMAN

DEAR OTHER WOMAN: Friends do not string friends along for years, which is what this "gentleman" has been doing to you.

He invited the other woman to move in because she is providing something he finds of value. (Are you sure they haven't gotten married or enjoy similar benefits?) If he wanted her out, he would find a way to do it. During your next "hourslong" phone call, tell him that as much as you care for him, you can no longer continue to live in limbo. Give him a deadline to get rid of his houseguest and, if he doesn't meet it, cut off his "benefits."

DEAR ABBY: As a woman, I am infuriated by men of all ages who have to adjust their crotches all the time. Is there any way we can tell these men that what they're doing is vulgar and embarrassing, and it's rude to do this in public? I'm almost tempted to caress my breasts with both hands and push upward. But I guess that would be worse. Any ideas? -- INFURIATED IN TOPEKA

DEAR INFURIATED: Forget hoisting your breasts skyward. Rather than succumb to infuriation, dig deep and try to feel some sympathy. This has everything to do with our Creator's grand design. Because men's genitalia are external, they sometimes get pinched in their clothing, which is uncomfortable. It's only natural that they reflexively try to remedy the situation. Because it bothers you so much, try looking elsewhere.

DEAR ABBY: After a long period of infertility, a dear friend of mine found out she is expecting. Unfortunately, a mutual friend at work stole her thunder and told me about the pregnancy before she had a chance to tell me herself. While I'm pleased to hear that she's pregnant, I'm also a bit upset that because I already know, I can no longer give her a genuine reaction consisting of love, shock and excitement when she tells me face-to-face. Of course I will still express how happy I am, but should I let her know I was already informed? -- ALREADY KNOW IN THE SOUTH

DEAR ALREADY KNOW: By all means tell your friend how happy you are for her and that you know how long she has wanted this. Express to her how exciting the news is, but do NOT tell her you already heard it from a co-worker.