DEAR ABBY: I'm having trouble with a friend, "Julie." We have been close friends for about five years. Julie is 29, still a virgin and lives at home. I never thought much about her living at home but, as the years go by, her living arrangements have become more front and center.

I'm in a meaningful relationship and recently bought my first home (on my own). Julie shows no interest in dating or moving out of her parents' home. She says living at home is a "cultural" thing, and most people within her culture move out when they get married. At the rate she is "dating," she will never move out.

Her constant complaints about her job, money and wanting a place of her own are getting annoying. She says moving out would be "tedious" because she would then have to budget her money and wouldn't be able to spend freely. She doesn't cook, clean or do anything to help out around the house. Her stay-at-home mother does everything.

I like Julie. She's a sweet, fun and attractive girl. I know she can live her life as she pleases (and for as long as her parents allow her to live there), but I'm getting tired of seeing her miss out on fun and challenging life chapters. I don't know how to respond when she makes pathetic excuses about why she doesn't travel more, move out, date, etc. I find myself wanting to avoid her lately.

How should I respond when she complains about things she has the power to change? I know I could tell it to her "like it is," but I also know it would end our friendship. Is there a better mindset I could have about someone like her? -- ANNOYED IN TEXAS

DEAR ANNOYED: You cannot change another person. When Julie complains about things she has the power to change, your response should be that she can change them if she puts her mind to it. Understand that you can't live Julie's life for her, so appreciate her for the good qualities in her that you admire.

As to your mindset, recognize that your life is changing. As yours progresses because of circumstances -- marriage, children, etc. -- you and Julie may have less in common and grow apart. That's life.

DEAR ABBY: For months I have been trying to convince my family (I am under 18) to allow me to go onto the pill. No matter how I explain it to them, they always find a way to refuse or put it off. Doctors and therapists have also talked to them, but they refuse to budge. I have started becoming sexually active, and the pill would decrease the stress of becoming pregnant. What should I do? -- STRESSED TEEN

DEAR TEEN: Because you didn't mention in your letter your age or whether you have a steady boyfriend, your parents may be worried that giving their permission will signal approval of your sexual activity. However, in most states teens are allowed to get birth control at their nearest Planned Parenthood Health Center or from their doctor without parental permission. Because you are concerned about being safe, go online, do some research and find out for yourself. But keep in mind that the pill will not protect you from getting an STD.

DEAR ABBY: I'm watching the slow-motion destruction of a childhood friend on Facebook. There is substance abuse, infidelity, divorce, the whole lot. It hurts.

He recently admitted that he has struggled with depression for years, but insists he isn't interested in seeing a doctor or a counselor. It sounds like he's been burned in the past. I know I can't do anything until he asks for help, but I intend to be there when he does. What resources are available for someone who is clinically depressed and self-medicating? -- TRYING TO HELP IN THE WEST

DEAR TRYING: Support groups for people who are depressed and/or have emotional issues exist. But to join one, the person must admit there is a problem and help is needed. Because your friend is resistant to the idea of professional help, you might suggest a group called Emotions Anonymous. It was started in 1971, and its mission is to help people who are experiencing emotional difficulties. It offers chat, Skype and phone meetings as well as in-person groups. If you would like more information, you can find it at emotionsanonymous.org.

DEAR ABBY: I have been dating this woman for a few years. We aren't in a committed relationship, but she wants me exclusively to herself. She's a very jealous type, and a comment she made took me over the edge.

She told me that my late wife's picture should only be displayed in my children's room, and that I'm still holding onto her, which is preventing me from moving forward with any woman. I will never remove any pictures of my children's mother out of respect not only for my departed loved one but for my children as well. What do you think of this? -- RESPECTFUL IN TEXAS

DEAR RESPECTFUL: If you keep a photo of your late wife next to your bed, I can see how it might bother someone you have been dating for a few years -- particularly if you haven't made a commitment to her. That said, if displaying a picture of your wife in a public room of your home is so threatening to this woman that she would make the kind of scene you describe, it may be time to replace her with someone who is less easily threatened.

DEAR ABBY: I have been happily married (for the most part) to my husband of 40 years. He is a good husband, provider and father. Only one thing about him really bothers me. When he is telling someone a story, he frequently "embellishes" it and changes it to something that's not actually the truth.

What he says doesn't really matter or hurt anyone, but it still bothers me. It makes me wonder if what he is telling me about something is the correct version or "his" version.

Like I said, it is never anything of importance, so I don't understand why he even does it. I have asked him about it, and he doesn't really explain. Do you have any idea what would make a person do this? -- WIFE IN WONDERLAND

DEAR WIFE: Some people "embellish" to impress or to make themselves look more important, or because they think it will make the story more entertaining or exciting. Not knowing your husband, I can't answer for him. It might help to reassure him that you love him just the way he is, and the truth is always better than fiction.

DEAR ABBY: My dad had a heart attack and nearly died a year ago. Since then, he has totally revamped his diet and put forth the effort to eat a plant-based diet to become healthier. It has been a family affair, and my sister jumped on the bandwagon as well.

I have battled for years with an unhealthy relationship with both alcohol and food. I have been seeking help for my troubles. The more help I have received, the more I have come to realize my body dysmorphia issues come from my mom and sister and their constant talk about losing weight and being healthy. (Get this: When Mom isn't around my dad, she downs double cheeseburgers, and my sister can drain a bottle with the best of them.) Every single family event or dinner out there's a discussion about how my mom needs to lose weight or eat better or something.

I want to support Dad, and other family members as well. How do I politely tell them I can no longer be around the constant "lose weight" talk or healthy food talk because it is hindering my own ability to heal and be happy with my body? And how do I tell a family of drinkers I'm no longer drinking? -- UNHEALTHY IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR UNHEALTHY: Congratulations on the lifestyle changes you are adopting. Change isn't easy, and how your family reacts to the new you will affect your relationship with all of them.

Approach your mother and your sister privately. Explain that in the course of getting help for your own issues you have discovered that certain subjects are detrimental to your recovery, and you would appreciate it if they were not a topic of conversation when you are together.

As to explaining your abstinence from alcohol to those who choose to imbibe, I do not think it is realistic to expect them to stop because you have chosen to. When drinks are offered, ask to be served something nonalcoholic. Many people do it these days, and it should not present a problem. If you are cajoled into having "just one," you may then have to seriously curtail the time you spend with them.

DEAR ABBY: I have a friend I connect with on many different levels. It's amazing. But he's already in a relationship. He tells me he loves me and doesn't ever want to lose me, but he never talks about leaving her. He says things will naturally work themselves out.

Although he says he isn't trying to have his cake and eat it too, that is exactly how it feels at times. I'm confused about what to do. My heart and my head are at odds. Please give me some advice that will help me settle my inner self. -- CONFUSED GIRL IN LOVE

DEAR CONFUSED GIRL: As it stands, your friend has two women, and you have half a man. He may love you, but if he was IN love with you, he would end the relationship with his girlfriend. He never talks about leaving her because he doesn't intend to rock the boat.

I know the idea of breaking things off is painful, but while you have romantic feelings for this person, you won't be free to find anybody else. You deserve someone who is willing to make the same kind of commitment to you that you are willing to make to him. Repeat that to yourself daily until he's out of your system.