DEAR ABBY: I'm a mother of two girls, ages 3 and 5. Their father and I are together, but I'm not in love with him anymore. I have felt this way for two years now.

I'm not excited to see him come home. When I take our children out, I hope he doesn't want to come. When he touches me affectionately, I want to pull away. I have talked to him about it, but he doesn't feel the same way. He wants to do everything he can to fix it. I'd love that too, but I no longer feel any connection to him.

He's not a bad guy. He gives me plenty of attention and is good with the kids. I feel like an idiot. What kind of person even thinks about breaking her family up when they've got someone so great? How much time should I give this before I call it quits? How much couples counseling should we pay for before we can say we tried, but it didn't work? Should I stay for the kids even though I'm not happy with him? -- JUMBLED IN OHIO

DEAR JUMBLED: I would love to know what happened two years ago that caused you to begin withdrawing from your partner. You ask what kind of person thinks the way you do? The answer may be a woman who is bored, confused, disillusioned or has stopped putting in the effort that's required to maintain a satisfactory relationship. Or, you may not have been in love with him in the first place.

If you're sincere about it, try counseling, first to determine where your relationship went off track, and second to find a way to save it. Your daughters are little. They don't need their lives disrupted. Be sure the person you and your spouse choose is licensed. Give it a year. By then both of you will know whether it was worth the money.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 63 and retired. I have two grown sons and grandchildren. Some of them are young, and some of them are young adults.

My husband of 10 years and I have decided to adopt the RV lifestyle and travel. My sons are always busy with their own lives and hardly ever reach out to me except to ask me to baby-sit or to tell me I "need to come see the grandkids." They make no effort to visit us, although we winter in the same state not far from them. I'm lucky if I ever receive a "How are you doing, Mom?" phone call. We see each family during the holidays.

When we travel, we'll be on the road four to six months at a time. Contact will be by phone or through social media only. I feel guilty for doing this. Why? -- GUILTY IN TEXAS

DEAR GUILTY IN TEXAS: If I had to guess, you feel guilty because you think it is your duty to be at your adult children's beck and call. You have a right to the adventure awaiting you, and I hope you and your husband will go ahead with it. If you do, you will make lifetime memories and new friendships together. If an emergency arises, you can always hightail it back. Remember: You have earned this, so please allow yourself to enjoy it.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a middle-aged woman who has survived a 30-year toxic relationship with a covert narcissist. I am now blessed to be able to divorce him and get therapy for his emotional abuse. I have six amazing grown children. I'm also a sophomore in college and have a part-time job. This is the first time in my life I am able to actually do things by myself. To say the least, I am busy.

Most of the time, I enjoy it -- shopping, movies and even dining out. However, for some reason (especially while dining out), I get unwanted expressions of sympathy for being alone. Strangers comment about how sad it is to see me eating all alone. One woman offered to introduce me to her brother. She went so far as to ask for my phone number so she could pass it along to him, so that way I would have company.

I have friends and family, and if I had wanted company at that time, I would have invited someone. Sometimes I want to be alone to enjoy my "me" time. How can I respond to these unwanted comments and nip the conversations in the bud so they don't disrupt my entire meal? -- ALONE BUT NOT LONELY IN LOUISIANA

DEAR ALONE: Here's how. Smile and thank these kind people for their thoughtfulness. Say that at this point in your life you are enjoying freedom and comfortable solitude. And the next time you enter a restaurant, ask the host to seat you farther back, so you are not the first person these individuals encounter on the way to their table.

As to the sweet lady who tried to fix you up with her brother, I hope in the future you might be open to whatever possibilities come your way.

DEAR ABBY: I just started seasonal housecleaning, and I'm realizing my house is filled with useless knickknacks. When I get rid of an unneeded item, I remember who gave it to me and the special occasion associated with the gift. Then I start feeling guilty and wonder if I will later regret my decision to discard it.

My other issue is, I live in a small town. I'm afraid if I donate something to a local charity, friends or neighbors may see it at the thrift store, and I'll seem ungrateful for their thoughtfulness. How can I get over these feelings of guilt as I declutter? -- CRAMPED IN THE CAROLINAS

DEAR CRAMPED: Once a gift (or tchotchke) is given, it is the recipient's to do with as she chooses. If someone challenges your decision to donate an item, do not become defensive. Calmly explain that you are downsizing and decided to "share the pleasure" the item brought you with someone else.

DEAR ABBY: I will soon be retiring from a lay position in my church. As a former member of the choir, I'm being urged to return to it, which appeals to me. My problem is a member who has caused trouble in the past for me with lies and criticism.

She is a very negative bully. In the past, she poisoned my ability to worship, and I want as little to do with her as possible. I'm afraid if I rejoin the choir, the situation will continue. I don't want to upset the other choir members who are good, supportive friends, but I no longer want to have to put up with her. She's very hard to ignore. Any suggestions? -- SINGING A NEW TUNE IN CANADA

DEAR SINGING: If you haven't already done so, discuss this with the priest/pastor of your church. Explain how the woman's bullying and rumor spreading have affected you and ask for guidance. If she's the one sour note in the choir, it is possible she has done the same thing to others.

DEAR ABBY: My son moved in with a 22-year-old woman in 2009. She gave birth to a baby boy in 2010. My son, who is older, took on the responsibility of raising the boy. In 2018, she walked out on them both and wasn't heard from again. Through public records we found out that she had committed suicide.

My grandson is now 9. My question is, is he old enough to be told about his mother, or should my son wait until he's older, like in his teens? I'm just wondering what's the right thing to do. -- RIGHT TIME IN FLORIDA

DEAR RIGHT TIME: When your grandson asks about his mother, he should be told that she is no longer living. As he begins asking for more information, his questions should be answered in an age-appropriate way. He does not need to hear that she committed suicide until he is old enough to understand what she was suffering from and how sad you and your son are that her life ended the way it did.

DEAR ABBY: Despite gastric bypass years ago, my wife is still very heavy. I'm no longer attracted to her, yet she is my best friend. I have thought about leaving her. Our kids are grown, so I wouldn't have to pay child support. In a few years, I will be too old to pay alimony. However, even then, because where we live is so expensive, I would likely have to move out of state. I don't want to move out of state or lose my best friend. -- UNSURE IN THE WEST

DEAR UNSURE: Before making any decisions based on the assumption that you won't have to see that your wife is provided for financially, discuss this with an attorney. Because you don't want to move away or lose your best friend, you may have to accept that, despite her weight-loss surgery, your wife has serious issues with food and, because she is your best friend, love her in spite of it. Help her as much as you can with healthy eating and an exercise routine you can do together.