DEAR ABBY: My 13-year-old son plays on a local travel sports team. Many of his teammates could be considered lower class or lower middle class. We live in a luxurious home. We don't flaunt it, and we're not snobbish. All of the kids and the parents get along, and socioeconomic status plays no role in our interactions.

My son invited a few of his teammates over for a few hours, and from the expressions on their faces, it was clear they had never seen a home like ours. They behaved like perfect gentlemen and were a pleasure to have over.

My mother suggested that it would be better not to invite the boys over again because it isn't fair to them. Her concern is that it might make them feel bad because they have so much less than we do. While I understand her point of view, I also think it can be beneficial for them to see what the possibilities are in the world if you work hard and are successful. Perhaps it will inspire them to do better in school, go to college, etc.

Of course, the primary purpose for their coming over was just for friends to spend time together and have fun. What do you think of these potential unintended consequences? -- SPORTS DAD IN THE SOUTH

DEAR DAD: I disagree with your mother. If your son and his teammates enjoy being together in addition to the time they spend doing their sports, they should be allowed that pleasure. Your home might be the most logical place to host these gatherings simply because it is large enough to accommodate all of the boys. Because they come from a lower income level doesn't mean they can't forge meaningful -- and lasting -- friendships with your son.

Many successful individuals weren't born with the proverbial silver spoon in their mouths. And many successful individuals did not attend college. They went to trade and tech schools and provide themselves and their families with very comfortable lifestyles.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter married a man last spring. One week after their honeymoon, he was diagnosed with Stage 4 metastasized colon cancer. After eight months of doctors, hospitals and chemo, he passed away.

They never had an opportunity to write thank-you notes for their wedding gifts. My daughter feels it is not appropriate now. I feel she should do it, saying something like, "Before my husband passed away, we enjoyed this gift very much." She said to ask you. What is your opinion? -- WONDERING IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR WONDERING: It is always appropriate to thank people for their kindness. Since you asked my opinion, I agree that your daughter should write short notes to the people who gave her wedding gifts and tell them she would have written sooner, but she is still grieving the loss of her husband. Then she should thank them for their generosity. The rules of etiquette do not require her to say more than that. When you discuss with her what I have written -- as I am sure you will -- please convey to her my deepest sympathy.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 15-year-old girl who wants to become a vegetarian. I don't exactly know why. I only know I want to stop eating meat and choose a healthier alternative lifestyle. I also want to lose weight, which may happen after becoming vegetarian.

There's been a lot going on in my life lately, so I've been stress-eating. I don't hate my body, but I sure don't love it. Every picture I take, I suck in my gut because I'm insecure.

The problem is, I'm not sure how to present this to my family. I'm sure I'll get the annoying, "How could you give up steak/bacon/chicken?" from my dad and sister. Mom will probably be supportive, as she has always encouraged us to eat healthier in general, and she'll most likely help me come up with somewhat of a meal plan.

I realized I wanted to stop eating meat when I was eating bacon and suddenly felt like I wanted to throw up because I was eating something that used to be alive. Basically, I was weirded out.

How do I explain this to my family? Additionally, how can I then get my extended family to understand that I won't be able to eat meat at events such as parties and gatherings? -- FUTURE VEGETARIAN IN NEW YORK

DEAR VEGETARIAN: There is nothing wrong with being a vegetarian, but it is not a guaranteed way to lose weight. Whether or not you realize it, half your letter discusses your lack of confidence about your body. You should definitely discuss it with someone. A counselor at school could be helpful.

Before changing your diet, discuss it with your doctor or a registered dietitian so you can manage it in a healthy way. Also, go online and start researching vegetarianism.

As to your extended family, people can have full social lives without consuming meat or causing inconvenience or discomfort to others. One simple solution would be to ask what will be served and bring something with you to eat if necessary.

DEAR ABBY: I was in an on-again, off-again relationship with a woman for well over a year. She was a single mother, and we took our time introducing me to her son until we were sure we were serious. The boy became very attached to me, and when it ended, he continued to ask about seeing me.

He's 4 now, but he remembers all the things we did. His mother occasionally will let me see him for a day and then disappears for months before repeating. At first I was advised to walk away, but he never forgets. When he sees me, he gets extremely excited, and I consider myself more of an uncle/big brother than anything.

I understand the situation is awkward and probably makes some in her family and mine (my family knows how much I care about him) squirm. But is it wrong that I answer when the opportunity comes, or should I let it go? -- FATHER FIGURE IN FLORIDA

DEAR FATHER FIGURE: Listen to your heart. Seeing the boy occasionally as you have been won't hurt him. It will reinforce that he is important to someone besides his mother. Because you care about him, continue to see him on the basis that your ex-girlfriend has established.

DEAR ABBY: I saw something shocking, and I need help. While working at my job at a hospital, I saw the man my mother is married to. He was there for an appointment. He did not see me, and I didn't have the courage to approach him because he was dressed as a woman. There is no mistaking it was him.

I don't know how to even begin to handle this. He has always been wonderful, especially to my mom. I am afraid if I don't tell her, she will find out and be destroyed, and if I do tell her, the same thing will happen. What do I do? -- HURT AND CONFUSED

DEAR HURT: Talk to your mother's husband -- who may be a cross-dresser or have gender identity issues -- about the fact that you saw him and give him a chance to explain. Do not be surprised if he tells you your mother is aware that he dresses this way some of the time.

DEAR ABBY: My husband was previously married for five years and had been widowed shortly before we met. He and his late wife had matching tattoo wedding bands. They had agreed they'd both be cremated upon their demise and that eventually they would be "reunited" by combining their ashes after his death.

My question is, what can we do to honor our marriage vows without removing the tattoo that will be respectful yet completely our own symbol of our vows? Secondly, I'm uncomfortable with the combining of their ashes. I'm 48 years old, and he is 44, so we have the potential for many more years of marriage than they had, but I do not want to completely dismiss her memory. What should I do about this? -- SECOND WIFE IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR WIFE: You could honor your wedding vows by wearing matching wedding rings. As for the "ashes" promise, talk to your husband about what his wishes currently are should he predecease you. He may have changed his mind about combining his ashes with hers -- or not. If the two of you are together longer than he was with his first wife, his feelings on the subject may change.

DEAR ABBY: My son got married a little over a year ago. They have a new baby. They are heavily in debt. He works full time plus a job on Saturday. She could work as a substitute teacher but prefers to stay at home with the baby.

I'm concerned about my son working so much. She brought indebtedness into this marriage. She agreed to work and now she doesn't. It doesn't seem fair to our boy. He's very kind and has a sensitive heart. Should I say something? -- CONCERNED MOM

DEAR CONCERNED: It may not seem fair, but do not insert yourself into this situation. Your "boy" is now an adult, and it's important that you let him speak up for himself. If you interfere -- even though you are trying to help -- you will come across as overbearing, which may cost you a relationship with your daughter-in-law and your grandchild.