DEAR ABBY: Six months ago, I got back in touch with a childhood friend who married at 17 and moved away. She has lots of family drama, much of it caused by her alcoholism (which she says is a result of PTSD).

Recently, she told me I have hurt her and I'm a terrible friend because since we've reconnected, I have never once asked her about her past and the ordeals she's been through. Abby, she talks about herself constantly. I never thought it was necessary to ask her about the past because she never shuts up about it. I have tried to be a good listener, but I don't think she has made the best life choices, and I don't want to confront her with my opinions on how she has messed up her life.

I don't question people about their past, truthfully. I feel if they want to discuss it, they'll bring it up themselves. Was I wrong for not asking her to dredge it up? Now she won't even talk to me. -- FRIENDLESS IN FLORIDA

DEAR FRIENDLESS: Be grateful the woman no longer speaks to you. You have done nothing wrong. The person you describe needs to feel wronged and be the focus of your conversations, which to me seems self-centered. Consider yourself fortunate that this troubled individual has moved on, and concentrate on relationships that are healthy -- and mutual.

DEAR ABBY: My family is very close, and we see each other often. Lately I have been avoiding most of our family gatherings because of my brother-in-law "Jared."

At the most recent family occasion, he was staring, winking and flashing peace signs at me. This is not friendly banter; it is very creepy. My sister isn't aware of it, and I'm sure she wouldn't approve.

I have been married four times, and I'm currently single. If his behavior continues, which I'm sure it will since I am a very desirable woman, I will have to skip family events entirely. Any thoughts? -- HARD TO RESIST OUT WEST

DEAR HARD TO RESIST: Your letter is unique. I rarely hear from people with as "healthy" an ego as yours. Because you feel your brother-in-law is out of line, try this: Tell him to cut it out the next time he does it because it is making you uncomfortable. And if that doesn't do the trick, tell his wife.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a male who recently started dating a great guy, "Jake." I deal with the public in my job every day, and I'm often asked things like, "Do you have a girlfriend?" and, "When will you find a wife?" Even my co-workers are inquiring when I'll find a "lucky girl." I'm happy in my relationship and would like to express that. Is there a tactful, succinct, non-awkward way to let people know I'm in a happy relationship with another male? -- IN A HAPPY PLACE IN GEORGIA

DEAR HAPPY: Absolutely! When asked if you have a girlfriend, say, "No, I have a boyfriend." And when your co-workers ask when you are going to find a wife or a "lucky girl," be upfront and tell them you are dating a great guy named Jake. That should answer the questions and put the subject to rest.

DEAR ABBY: My sister and I recently found out (through the internet) that my mother and stepfather have filed for Chapter 7 bankruptcy. A few months ago, Mom approached my sister (who's an attorney) asking about the effects of bankruptcy "for a friend."

My sister and I are now struggling with this information because my mom and stepdad promote a direct sales business where they advertise their multiple cars and lavish lifestyle as a result of the business profits. Should we let them know that we know about the bankruptcy and, if so, how should we handle this situation? Thanks for your advice. -- STRUGGLING SISTERS

DEAR STRUGGLING: You and your sister the attorney should go to your mother and stepdad and tell them the cat's out of the bag. They may need help extricating themselves from the company they have been promoting. Many people have been caught up in shady direct sales schemes and wound up with garages filled with product they couldn't sell. Whether your mother and stepdad are victims or perpetrators remains to be seen.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I have a joint membership at our local gym. Today the gym owner asked him if I was his mother. It upset me to the point of tears. I don't look any older than he does. We are not the same race. He is fit; I'm not, but we are both in our early 30s.

Why do people ask rude questions when a simple check of paperwork would satisfy their curiosity? I feel I should say something to her like, "Mind your own business." How do I get over this because I still would like to attend her gym? -- WORKING OUT IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR WORKING OUT: That gym owner ain't no rocket scientist. She could have lost TWO clients by asking that ill-advised question. Because you would like to continue patronizing the establishment, refrain from telling her to mind her own business.

P.S. It's possible that she was hitting on your fella, so ask him what he hoped to accomplish by repeating something so hurtful.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have lived in our home for 25 years, raised our children here and imagined living on this beautiful cul-de-sac forever. A woman who moved close by a few years ago has turned out to be the neighborhood gossip, spreading hateful rumors and expressing opinions that sadden us, based, we believe, on her own failed marriage and personal unhappiness.

It would be nice to dismiss her comments and believe that our friends will ignore her, but it's still hurtful and embarrassing. I have read that gossiping is related to low self-esteem and an effort to elevate oneself above others. What is your advice? -- KEEPING IT POSITIVE

DEAR KEEPING: My advice is to live your lives as you always have, and see your friends as you always have. By doing this, you will demonstrate that whatever the new neighborhood gossip is saying is fiction.

DEAR ABBY: My 16-year-old daughter, "Katie," leaves her nice clothes, wet towels and debris strewn around her room. She stays with me half the time, and her mother the other half. She's involved in activities and Advanced Placement courses in school, so when she gets home, she studies or needs to sleep. I remind her to pick her things up off the floor, but she rarely does it.

I keep going back and forth on the correct way to handle this. Should I just leave them and allow Katie to live in a mess until she gets sick of it, or straighten up ahead of time so when she comes over her room is tidy, and maybe she'll realize it's how the place should always look? She's a sweet, loving and considerate kid, but, frankly, she gets very dramatic -- especially when she's hormonal -- which makes it hard for a rational conversation. Thank you for any help you can offer. --FRUSTRATED FATHER IN FLORIDA

DEAR FRUSTRATED FATHER: You and your ex-wife may be divorced, but you need to be on the same page when it comes to parenting. Ask her if she allows clothing and towels to be left on the floor of Katie's room and, if not, how she handles it. Even if it doesn't bother your ex, you should still remind your daughter that when she gets to college, she'll be a more desirable roommate if she keeps her living quarters tidy, and that it would be better for her to acquire the habit now. Be sure she knows you are saying it to help her, not to be an ogre. It's your house, and you should be making the rules.

DEAR ABBY: Recently some of my extended family had dinner together at a restaurant. After the waiter brought our meal to the table, my adult nephew asked all 10 of us to pause before eating while he "offered thanks" for the meal. Most of the family is religious and may not have minded doing it even though they never do it themselves in public. However, some of us are not religious and never pray before meals, something everyone there has known for decades.

If we gather at someone's house, we follow the custom of the host and there's no objection, but I think it's presumptuous to insist on making everyone wait while they perform this ritual in public. No one will mind you praying silently to yourself, but please be considerate of others and refrain from turning every gathering into your personal prayer meeting. -- GODLESS IN TEXAS

DEAR GODLESS: Unless your nephew was delivering a sermon and you were experiencing symptoms of hypoglycemia, I don't think it was a great imposition to wait until he said the blessing.

That said, because you felt imposed upon, say something to your nephew -- or, because you know that he does this, pass on the next dinner invitation.

DEAR ABBY: I just recently had my heart broken. After this girl left me, I started talking to some other girls I like, and they like me back. The problem is, I want to date these girls, but I don't want to just date one and have the others be sad because I didn't choose them. What should I do? -- KEEPING EVERYONE HAPPY

DEAR KEEPING: Explain to the girls that you like them, but you have been through a recent painful breakup and you are not ready for another exclusive relationship right now. It's called "playing the field," and it's also the truth.