DEAR ABBY: My sister and I recently found out (through the internet) that my mother and stepfather have filed for Chapter 7 bankruptcy. A few months ago, Mom approached my sister (who's an attorney) asking about the effects of bankruptcy "for a friend."

My sister and I are now struggling with this information because my mom and stepdad promote a direct sales business where they advertise their multiple cars and lavish lifestyle as a result of the business profits. Should we let them know that we know about the bankruptcy and, if so, how should we handle this situation? Thanks for your advice. -- STRUGGLING SISTERS

DEAR STRUGGLING: You and your sister the attorney should go to your mother and stepdad and tell them the cat's out of the bag. They may need help extricating themselves from the company they have been promoting. Many people have been caught up in shady direct sales schemes and wound up with garages filled with product they couldn't sell. Whether your mother and stepdad are victims or perpetrators remains to be seen.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I have a joint membership at our local gym. Today the gym owner asked him if I was his mother. It upset me to the point of tears. I don't look any older than he does. We are not the same race. He is fit; I'm not, but we are both in our early 30s.

Why do people ask rude questions when a simple check of paperwork would satisfy their curiosity? I feel I should say something to her like, "Mind your own business." How do I get over this because I still would like to attend her gym? -- WORKING OUT IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR WORKING OUT: That gym owner ain't no rocket scientist. She could have lost TWO clients by asking that ill-advised question. Because you would like to continue patronizing the establishment, refrain from telling her to mind her own business.

P.S. It's possible that she was hitting on your fella, so ask him what he hoped to accomplish by repeating something so hurtful.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have lived in our home for 25 years, raised our children here and imagined living on this beautiful cul-de-sac forever. A woman who moved close by a few years ago has turned out to be the neighborhood gossip, spreading hateful rumors and expressing opinions that sadden us, based, we believe, on her own failed marriage and personal unhappiness.

It would be nice to dismiss her comments and believe that our friends will ignore her, but it's still hurtful and embarrassing. I have read that gossiping is related to low self-esteem and an effort to elevate oneself above others. What is your advice? -- KEEPING IT POSITIVE

DEAR KEEPING: My advice is to live your lives as you always have, and see your friends as you always have. By doing this, you will demonstrate that whatever the new neighborhood gossip is saying is fiction.

DEAR ABBY: My 16-year-old daughter, "Katie," leaves her nice clothes, wet towels and debris strewn around her room. She stays with me half the time, and her mother the other half. She's involved in activities and Advanced Placement courses in school, so when she gets home, she studies or needs to sleep. I remind her to pick her things up off the floor, but she rarely does it.

I keep going back and forth on the correct way to handle this. Should I just leave them and allow Katie to live in a mess until she gets sick of it, or straighten up ahead of time so when she comes over her room is tidy, and maybe she'll realize it's how the place should always look? She's a sweet, loving and considerate kid, but, frankly, she gets very dramatic -- especially when she's hormonal -- which makes it hard for a rational conversation. Thank you for any help you can offer. --FRUSTRATED FATHER IN FLORIDA

DEAR FRUSTRATED FATHER: You and your ex-wife may be divorced, but you need to be on the same page when it comes to parenting. Ask her if she allows clothing and towels to be left on the floor of Katie's room and, if not, how she handles it. Even if it doesn't bother your ex, you should still remind your daughter that when she gets to college, she'll be a more desirable roommate if she keeps her living quarters tidy, and that it would be better for her to acquire the habit now. Be sure she knows you are saying it to help her, not to be an ogre. It's your house, and you should be making the rules.

DEAR ABBY: Recently some of my extended family had dinner together at a restaurant. After the waiter brought our meal to the table, my adult nephew asked all 10 of us to pause before eating while he "offered thanks" for the meal. Most of the family is religious and may not have minded doing it even though they never do it themselves in public. However, some of us are not religious and never pray before meals, something everyone there has known for decades.

If we gather at someone's house, we follow the custom of the host and there's no objection, but I think it's presumptuous to insist on making everyone wait while they perform this ritual in public. No one will mind you praying silently to yourself, but please be considerate of others and refrain from turning every gathering into your personal prayer meeting. -- GODLESS IN TEXAS

DEAR GODLESS: Unless your nephew was delivering a sermon and you were experiencing symptoms of hypoglycemia, I don't think it was a great imposition to wait until he said the blessing.

That said, because you felt imposed upon, say something to your nephew -- or, because you know that he does this, pass on the next dinner invitation.

DEAR ABBY: I just recently had my heart broken. After this girl left me, I started talking to some other girls I like, and they like me back. The problem is, I want to date these girls, but I don't want to just date one and have the others be sad because I didn't choose them. What should I do? -- KEEPING EVERYONE HAPPY

DEAR KEEPING: Explain to the girls that you like them, but you have been through a recent painful breakup and you are not ready for another exclusive relationship right now. It's called "playing the field," and it's also the truth.

DEAR ABBY: I've been best friends with "Mary" since we were 13. We're 23 now. We tell each other everything and are as close as sisters. We went to high school together, but I graduated and Mary dropped out in senior year with the intention of finishing up later. She never did. She does want a GED, but her lack of a degree hasn't been a big issue because she got married and had a kid, and her husband works.

Lately, Mary has confided (and I've seen) that their marriage is troubled. There's a real possibility that she will soon be on her own with a kid, no job experience, no high school diploma and nowhere to go. Aside from raising her kid (who she adores and is her whole life), she has no hobbies or projects, nothing to look forward to or to pour her energy into. It's literally just "wake up, watch the kid, clean, cook, sleep." I think it's taking a toll on her and she's depressed. I want to help Mary, but I don't know how. I don't want to get into her personal business, but I also don't want to see her thrown into a terrible situation. Any advice? -- CLOSE AS SISTERS

DEAR CLOSE AS SISTERS: It's time to have a frank talk with your friend about the trouble in her marriage and that you are concerned she may be depressed. While you're at it, tell her how important it is that she get that GED. If she does, she may gain the confidence to improve other aspects of her life. Then keep your fingers crossed that Mary will listen and heed your advice.

DEAR ABBY: When we are young, nothing prepares us for watching our parents grow old. Sometimes we must make the difficult decision about putting Mom or Dad in an assisted living facility. Making it even more difficult, there may have been promises made about never putting someone in assisted living.

Abby, please remind your readers not to make promises they can't keep. Sometimes kids must make decisions based on what's best for our parents to ensure they are cared for when they can no longer care for themselves and the kids can't be there 24/7. Going against someone's wishes is very difficult, but it's important to remember that these decisions are made because you care about and love the person. -- CARES VERY MUCH IN UTAH

DEAR CARES: I think what most seniors fear about being put into assisted living or a nursing home is that once they are there, they will be forgotten or ignored by their families. While making this kind of decision is difficult, I agree that it is sometimes necessary. However, when relocating a parent is necessary, family members should make every effort to visit and to make sure their loved one is included in every activity that person is capable of enjoying. Unfortunately, if that doesn't happen, the person in the institution is left feeling unloved and abandoned.