DEAR ABBY: Thank you for responding to "Crystal in Nevada's" June 7 question about her aunt and her aunt's baby who was stillborn. Few people talk openly about pregnancy loss, yet I worry your response might discourage parents from remembering their children out loud, for fear it might seem too morbid for others.

My daughter, Evelyn, was born at 21 weeks gestation and died at birth. She would turn 7 this fall. I think about her every day. In the wake of her death, I sought help from a pastor, and I also belong to a support group.

Every year on her birthday, my spouse and I put a birthday candle on a cake or a stack of pancakes or a tiny cookie. This is important to us, and this is how we remember her. I wonder if this is "truly sad." How ought we remember her? She was real to us.

People remember anniversaries around grief in different ways, and we should be cautious about judging what is and is not appropriate. If a person's grief gets in the way of everyday living, then she or he should seek counseling. But a person acting out their grief on the anniversary of a loss should evoke our empathy rather than judgment. I hope Crystal's aunt knows there is a whole sisterhood/brotherhood out here who will remember her baby with her. -- ADRIANNE IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR ADRIANNE: I'm glad you wrote. I appreciate your reminding me that there are many ways to grieve. If it brings comfort to those who have suffered a loss, no judgment should be passed. I apologize to any and all grieving parents who were affected by my answer because it's clear that my response caused hurt feelings, and for that I am truly sorry.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a professional, independent female in my early 40s. I'm not sure how to handle a friend I've known for nearly 10 years. She's beautiful, with a magnetic personality, but she has a terrible habit of lying and embellishing about things big and small, inconsequential and serious.

There have been times I've been appalled by the enormity of her lies, and embarrassed for her when someone indicates they're aware that what she's said isn't true. I have gently reminded her more than once that it'll catch up to her and encouraged her to be honest. She persists.

My problem: A few years ago, when she expressed a desire to "expand her circle," she incorporated some of my closest friends and their friends. Boundaries have been blurred and the need to impress others (lie, greatly exaggerate) has grown worse. These new friends are drawn to her dynamic personality, yet I can no longer stomach her rampant dishonesty. Will I possibly lose or damage other relationships by ending my friendship with her? Should I label her a liar and watch her react? I don't know if this friendship can be salvaged or if I even want to. -- SICK TO MY STOMACH

DEAR SICK: You don't have to make any grand announcements regarding this poor woman. Stepping back from a relationship with a compulsive liar should not damage your other friendships. People will soon recognize her for what she is, and will likely follow your example. If, however, you are ASKED why you no longer socialize with her, I think you should quietly answer the question truthfully.

DEAR ABBY: My sister is driving me and our other sister nuts. There are five years between the three of us. We are all seniors who live in the same city and have always been close.

Abby, the oldest talks nonstop. It was always a family joke, but it's gotten worse. Now she interrupts people to tell her story (after all, everything is all about her).

A cousin we hadn't seen in several years came to town, and we all had dinner. Not once did my sister ask, "Why are you in town, how are you doing, your family, etc.?" She just talked and talked about herself and her family.

It's no longer a joke; she is just plain rude. It's getting difficult to be around her. How do we stop her outlandish behavior without hurting her feelings? -- ALL LISTENED OUT IN IOWA

DEAR ALL LISTENED OUT: Stopping her outlandish behavior may take some risk, but it's worth it. Point out to her -- as kindly as possible -- what she has been doing and how it affects people, and tell her it has to stop before people start avoiding or excluding her. The truth may be unpleasant, but she needs to know.

DEAR ABBY: I have a childhood friend who is seriously depressed. She sees a medical professional once a month for drugs, but doesn't get counseling.

She lives alone and is going through a contentious divorce. She has pretty much alienated her friends and family because she can't converse without crying and blaming everyone else for her problems.

Do you have any advice on how I might help someone who doesn't seem able to help herself? I'm at a loss and feel so sad for her. -- SYMPATHETIC IN SOUTH CAROLINA

DEAR SYMPATHETIC: This woman is fortunate to have such a caring friend as you. Suggest to her that she inform the doctor who is prescribing her medication that she needs more help than she is currently receiving. And if she isn't already aware of it, point out to her that she should go online and explore support programs or groups for divorced people.

DEAR ABBY: I'm in my second trimester and grateful to have wonderful family and friends who are giving us their old baby clothes and toys. One of my friends, "Jenna," is also pregnant. She's still in her first trimester and hasn't told anyone yet.

Our mutual friend "Tisa" just had a baby and is giving me all her baby stuff because she doesn't know Jenna is pregnant. I would like her to share the items with Jenna, but don't know if I should share her secret. Also, because she's in the beginning stages of pregnancy, I'm not sure if Jenna is even planning for the baby's arrival just yet. Should I keep the items and let her know I'll put some aside for her as the months pass? -- THINKING AHEAD

DEAR THINKING AHEAD: Do not betray Jenna's confidence. The announcement of her pregnancy should come from her. However, do tell her you will be receiving a lot of baby clothes from Tisa and offer to share them with her as needed if she wishes.

DEAR ABBY: I just started dating an amazing guy. He is sweet, funny and handsome, but I don't feel as strongly for him as he does for me. Maybe it's too early in the relationship for me to be worried about feelings, or maybe as much as I want to have deep feelings for him, I don't.

Lately, I have been tempted to cheat. That sounds awful, I know, but for some reason, I feel it's my last chance before things start getting really serious with this guy. I want so badly to have this amazing relationship with him. It really feels like I could grow old with him, and I'd be OK with it. Or maybe I want a lifelong partner so badly that I'm forcing myself to keep seeing this guy. He's basically everything I've ever hoped for, and yet I'm hesitating, unwilling to give up being single and having freedom.

Is it normal to feel this way? Is it normal to have the urge to flee something amazing because I don't want to lose the ability to have total freedom? Or am I scared of commitment? Life is complicated; I am complicated. -- UNSURE IN THE SOUTH

DEAR UNSURE: From where I sit, you do not appear to be ready to settle down. Also, you have "just started" dating this amazing man. Unless he starts pushing you to have an exclusive relationship, you would be wise to give it more time and see how things play out. Whatever it is that is holding you back will become apparent if you proceed slowly.

DEAR ABBY: My mother-in-law manipulates my husband into lying to me and going behind my back. She is hard on him if he doesn't return her calls promptly, to the point of calling the police and having them come to our home to "make sure his wife hasn't done anything to him."

She throws a tantrum if he calls her back when I'm around. She will speak to him only in private and doesn't want him to tell me about the calls or conversations. (He tells me anyway, although not all the details, which is fine.)

My husband and I feel her demands are destructive to our marriage. Last Thanksgiving was the first time he chose to spend the holiday with me and didn't see his family. It caused an uproar, and now she's giving him the cold shoulder and threatening to leave him out of the will. Help! -- IN-LAW BLUES IN TEXAS

DEAR BLUES: Your husband should not have had to choose between spending Thanksgiving with his wife or his family. There must be a lot more going on in addition to what you have put in your letter.

Be smart. The two of you should talk about this with a licensed marriage and family therapist who can help your husband find ways to cope with his mother's emotional blackmail and threats to disinherit him. Her need to control her son is sick and, I agree, destructive to your marriage. Please don't wait.

DEAR ABBY: I left high school in 1974 before graduating. I acquired my GED and don't know if it would be appropriate to attend my high school reunion all these years later. Any thoughts? -- REUNION IN OHIO

DEAR REUNION: For heaven's sake go! If you do, you will reunite with friends you haven't seen in many years, and I am sure they will be as glad to see you as you are to see them.