DEAR ABBY: I just started dating an amazing guy. He is sweet, funny and handsome, but I don't feel as strongly for him as he does for me. Maybe it's too early in the relationship for me to be worried about feelings, or maybe as much as I want to have deep feelings for him, I don't.

Lately, I have been tempted to cheat. That sounds awful, I know, but for some reason, I feel it's my last chance before things start getting really serious with this guy. I want so badly to have this amazing relationship with him. It really feels like I could grow old with him, and I'd be OK with it. Or maybe I want a lifelong partner so badly that I'm forcing myself to keep seeing this guy. He's basically everything I've ever hoped for, and yet I'm hesitating, unwilling to give up being single and having freedom.

Is it normal to feel this way? Is it normal to have the urge to flee something amazing because I don't want to lose the ability to have total freedom? Or am I scared of commitment? Life is complicated; I am complicated. -- UNSURE IN THE SOUTH

DEAR UNSURE: From where I sit, you do not appear to be ready to settle down. Also, you have "just started" dating this amazing man. Unless he starts pushing you to have an exclusive relationship, you would be wise to give it more time and see how things play out. Whatever it is that is holding you back will become apparent if you proceed slowly.

DEAR ABBY: My mother-in-law manipulates my husband into lying to me and going behind my back. She is hard on him if he doesn't return her calls promptly, to the point of calling the police and having them come to our home to "make sure his wife hasn't done anything to him."

She throws a tantrum if he calls her back when I'm around. She will speak to him only in private and doesn't want him to tell me about the calls or conversations. (He tells me anyway, although not all the details, which is fine.)

My husband and I feel her demands are destructive to our marriage. Last Thanksgiving was the first time he chose to spend the holiday with me and didn't see his family. It caused an uproar, and now she's giving him the cold shoulder and threatening to leave him out of the will. Help! -- IN-LAW BLUES IN TEXAS

DEAR BLUES: Your husband should not have had to choose between spending Thanksgiving with his wife or his family. There must be a lot more going on in addition to what you have put in your letter.

Be smart. The two of you should talk about this with a licensed marriage and family therapist who can help your husband find ways to cope with his mother's emotional blackmail and threats to disinherit him. Her need to control her son is sick and, I agree, destructive to your marriage. Please don't wait.

DEAR ABBY: For the last 12 years, we have been traveling 7 1/2 hours to see my husband's grandparents. This happens several times a year. Each time I pray it will be the last visit.

Invariably, when we return home, I am sick for about a week, and it's getting worse. At 96, Grandma isn't cleaning the house (Grandpa died four years ago). She lives on her own in the country. Grandma has fallen, can't cook for herself and still drives. The closest family member lives seven hours away.

Grandma has always been a manipulator, and I'm tired of how she treats her family. She uses the "financial inheritance" for leverage. My family has things planned out in advance about what to do when someone has reached a certain age.

I'm tired of subjecting myself to this, let alone facing Grandma's wrath. The rest of the family accepts it for what it is. They don't want to upset her, so they give in and accommodate. Do I have the right to back out? -- WANTS TO RUN AWAY

DEAR WANTS: Before backing out, may I recommend that you and your husband discuss this with all of the relatives involved? It seems to me that a group intervention for Granny may be in order.

If she has enough money that she's successfully holding it over everyone's heads, she has enough to hire someone to clean her house for her on a weekly or monthly basis. Rather than pray for her demise, ask yourself, "If she's not cleaning and cooking, how IS she taking care of herself?"

Contact the senior center nearest to where this poor woman lives, or the closest Area Agency on Aging and ask what can be done to help her. If not you, then your husband's parents, aunts and uncles should do this. Ignoring her condition could be considered elder abuse.

DEAR ABBY: I have never seen this issue discussed anywhere but cannot believe I'm the only person who is dismayed by the tradition of bringing casseroles to the homes of the bereaved.

When my father died, my mother and I hosted a post-memorial get-together at her home. Each of my parents' many friends and acquaintances brought a casserole. Mom's refrigerator was always full, so there was no room after the seventh casserole. My mother told me to take the rest to the basement and say it was put in the freezer. My parents never owned a freezer, so after everyone left, we put 17 casseroles down the garbage disposal.

Please make your readers aware that post-funeral food is often inconvenient even if the thought is appreciated. A restaurant gift card accomplishes the same thing and assures the family will end up with something they actually like. -- ENOUGH IS TOO MUCH

DEAR ENOUGH: That the love, effort and expense your parents' friends went to ended up down the drain is a shame. I am printing your letter because your suggestion makes sense and readers may appreciate it. If this happens to other readers, it would not be ungracious to be honest. Explain there is no more room in the fridge or freezer and suggest the food be taken with the mourners when they leave.

DEAR ABBY: My stepbrother "Pete" is a recovering addict who did significant prison time for possession and gang affiliations. He has also had multiple DUI convictions. He's been out for two years and is holding a job and taking care of his kids part-time.

My parents think he's completely rehabilitated, but I think he's using again, based on his behavior. He has tried to get my husband to give him some of a prescription medication he takes, and jokes about "acting good" when with family but not at home.

I decided I no longer want to be around Pete, particularly with my children, and I asked my parents not to have him over while we are visiting. They said they understood, but the last time we went for a weekend, Pete was there with his son, and it was really uncomfortable. Now they say they just want us to all get along and that I'm "snobby" for wanting to exclude Pete.

I have reached a point where I'm no longer willing to visit them because I can't trust them. They won't come to my house, but are mad at me for "withholding their grandkids from them" (their words) and "breaking up the family." What are my obligations in this situation, and is it reasonable to insist we visit without Pete? I hate to make them choose, but I also feel like this is a safety issue. -- UNCOMFORTABLE IN MINNESOTA

DEAR UNCOMFORTABLE: As a parent, you have to do what you think is best for your children. I wish you had explained your parents' reason for not visiting your home, because it appears to be manipulative and a means of punishing you for sticking to your guns.

Given the fact that Pete has tried to convince your husband to share his scheduled medications and has bragged about "acting good" when with family, you are doing the right thing.

DEAR ABBY: My sister -- age 57 -- has terrible table manners. We live three hours apart but get together every two or three months to enjoy each other's company.

Recently, we went to a nice restaurant, and she let out a loud, obnoxious, disgusting burp. I was surprised and embarrassed. She quickly apologized. I said, "Can't you lower the volume and cover your mouth?" She became defensive and said, "I apologized!"

Her burping happens often, but this one was beyond the pale. I don't like it, never have. How do I communicate to her effectively to burp quietly and in a controlled manner? -- DISGUSTED IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR DISGUSTED: I think you have already done that. Is it possible your sister suffers from a gastrointestinal disorder? If she hasn't brought this to the attention of her doctor, she should.

If, however, there is nothing physically wrong with her, you may be happier having your meals in a different kind of restaurant -- a loud, casual burger joint or a sports bar where no one will notice her problem while rooting for the home team.

DEAR READERS: Have a very happy and healthy Fourth of July, everyone. And please be safe! -- LOVE, ABBY