DEAR ABBY: My wife died recently. We were very happy. We had six beautiful children and were married for 58 wonderful years.

It has been a month since her funeral, and I have been able to cope somewhat with her loss. But suddenly, a couple of days ago, I experienced a tremendous wave of grief and thought I would go crazy with not being able to see her again. I began to be afraid I'd have to be hospitalized, perhaps in a psychiatric ward and medicated. But my son told me this condition (everything "hitting" you in a delayed reaction) has been documented in a majority of cases. Is this true? -- GRIEVING TEXAN

DEAR GRIEVING TEXAN: Please accept my deepest sympathy for the loss of your wife. I am sure you feel her loss profoundly.

Not everyone grieves in the same way. Some feel numb and can't understand why they can't feel anything after a loved one dies. Others feel the loss immediately and can't sleep, eat or stop crying.

Your son is absolutely right. What happened to you is not unusual. However, if feelings of being out of control persist, you should discuss them with your doctor.

DEAR ABBY: One of our in-laws recently confessed about a long-term affair. The details are widely known. The closest family members, and especially the couple's adult children, are shocked, devastated and angry. No one wants to even talk to the cheater.

The aggrieved spouse wants to keep the marriage together. It is hard to imagine that time will heal these wounds. How can my wife and I support the aggrieved spouse and the devastated children? Should we try to re-establish ties with the cheater? If so, do we just talk about the weather, or do we acknowledge the elephant in the room? -- TRYING TO DO WHAT'S RIGHT

DEAR TRYING: If you truly want to support the spouse and adult children, let them know you are there for them if they want to talk. If you socialize with the husband and wife as a couple, continue to behave as you always have with them and discuss the topics you always did. Couples can get past turbulence in their marriage more easily without unsolicited interference.

DEAR ABBY: I was paying bills and saw that my husband sent his mother flowers for Mother's Day. It stung because I received nothing from him. ZIP. In the past, he has stated that I am not his mom, suggesting there's no reason to celebrate the mother of HIS child who birthed HIS child on Mother's Day 10 years ago. Should I be annoyed? -- UNSURE IN OREGON

DEAR UNSURE: Most husbands have more brains than the cheap, insensitive man you married. I am tempted to suggest that you "forget" him on Father's Day and when he asks why, tell him he's not your father. You are a mother because he helped you become one, and he shouldn't forget that fact.

DEAR ABBY: Do you have any advice on how I can make friends with people my own age in my hometown? It's a small college town. I recently graduated from the local university and still live at home with my parents. Most of the people I socialized with in school have moved back home after graduating, found work, and seem uninterested in contacting me, or they're still in school and very busy.

I've had some success making friends online, but my internet friends live out of state or abroad. I work as a substitute teacher and would like to make friends with other subs and teachers, but I don't get many chances to interact with them.

I have always been somewhat of an introvert and homebody and don't get out much. I want to change that before I leave for grad school next year, but I'm not sure where to start. -- HOMEBODY IN OHIO

DEAR HOMEBODY: Start making it a priority to get out of your parents' house and meet new people. The first thing to do is figure out where your interests lie. Surely in a college town there are organizations or groups that would interest you.

If you want to be more physically active, consider joining a gym. If you are political, reach out to the party of your choice and volunteer. I'm sure you will be welcomed with open arms. If you're an animal lover, raise money for a pet rescue organization. While you're doing good, you will be getting to know other like-minded individuals.

And remember that social skills don't always come naturally to people. The more you give yourself a chance to practice, the better you will become at them.

DEAR ABBY: My father has a problem with food. He has no portion control. He rarely eats fruits or vegetables, never exercises, and is addicted to cigarettes. He admits he could do better but makes no effort to improve his health. To be honest, Dad is lazy and gluttonous.

I'm worried he will have cardiovascular health issues in the future. My siblings and mother share my concern. I am a recent college graduate with a paying job, and I'm living at home temporarily to save money. I'm willing to exercise with him and can commit to encouraging him daily. How do I intervene without seeming disrespectful (considering I'm still under his roof)? -- WORRIED ABOUT DAD

DEAR WORRIED: How about putting it this way: "Dad, I love you so much. I want to have you around for a long time. But I'm worried sick that you're so sedentary, your diet isn't healthy and you smoke. If you don't start doing something about these things, they are going to bite you in the butt. Please let me help you to become more active. I'd love to exercise with you, if you're willing. I know it would make you feel better if you do."

If your father is so addicted to nicotine that he can't quit on his own, suggest he talk to his doctor about a smoking cessation plan. If you say these things with love, it should not be regarded as disrespectful.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 57-year-old man who has been divorced for eight years. (My ex-wife was the one who filed.) I recently reconnected with my ex-wife's sister, "Edith," whom I hadn't seen in years. We began a friendship, which has evolved into a serious relationship.

My ex is having issues with our romance and has been trying to turn friends, our grown children and our parents against us. We are both single and enjoy each other's company. Is there any reason why we should not pursue this relationship, because "we're upsetting my ex-wife's family"? -- TWO LOVERS IN NEW YORK

DEAR TWO LOVERS: When your wife left you, she lost the right to dictate what you should do with your life -- including whom you date or even marry next. She is acting like the proverbial dog in the manger, and I sincerely hope your friends and family don't let her get away with it. Now go and have a good life, because you and Edith deserve one.

DEAR ABBY: Ever since I can remember, I have felt like my mother hates me. Growing up, my two brothers got whatever they wanted while I had to beg for things I wanted. An example: My brothers were given a car for graduation; I got contact lenses. Neither one could do anything wrong in my mother's eyes, but whatever I did was wrong.

Now that I'm an adult, she still treats me this way, and it's making me depressed. I have medical issues that she refuses to believe I have. What can I do to make my mother like me? -- DEPRESSED DAUGHTER IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR DEPRESSED: It would be interesting to know what kind of a relationship your mother had with her own mother, because it's possible that she's repeating a pattern she learned when she was a child.

I'm sorry you are hurting because of the way she has treated you, but it isn't possible to "make" somebody -- even a parent -- have feelings that just aren't there. What might help you is to discuss your dysfunctional relationship with your mother with a licensed mental health professional who can help you understand that if there is fault involved, it belongs solely with her and not you.

DEAR ABBY: I have a friend who calls 20 times a day. If one of my kids asks me something and I ask her to hang on while I respond, she hangs up on me. We have had a falling-out over this more than once.

I think it's rude of her to just hang up. I feel it would be different if she called only a few times a week for a few minutes, but that's not the case. She feels I am being rude to ask her to hang on, and that my kids should either wait until we are finished or go on about their business and come back to talk to me later. However, they can't always do that. They try really hard not to interrupt, but sometimes they just have to because of time. Am I wrong to be upset? -- HOLD ON JUST A MINUTE

DEAR HOLD ON: No, you are not wrong. Your children are trying to be cooperative and respectful. It is your friend who is being unreasonable. Your children should come first, and if the woman can't understand that, perhaps you should cultivate friends who are more tolerant and less chatty (20 times a day!).