DEAR ABBY: I am very close to my 19-year-old son. He is kind, sweet and big-hearted. He has learning disabilities and the maturity level of probably a 15- or 16-year-old. Naturally, I am protective of him. He had one girlfriend during his senior year, and when they broke up after four months, he was beyond devastated. Since then he constantly talks about how lonely he is and his desire to be in a relationship.

About a week ago, he told me he likes a woman from his work. They went out on a couple of dates and, come to find out, she's 33 and has three kids (9, 7 and 8 months old). He told me she asked him if he wanted to be in a serious relationship or just be friends with benefits. He told her he wanted something serious, and I guess she agreed.

Abby, this woman is taking advantage of my son! What would a woman that age want with a kid? This is a complicated nightmare, and I do not want my son involved with her. I'm convinced she's using him, and once she is over it, she will break his heart. It took him a long time to get over his high school sweetheart, and I was seriously worried about his mental well-being. Is there anything I can do to stop this train wreck?

I have talked to him about my concerns, but it didn't accomplish anything. I told him I want to meet her, and they agreed. I'm nervous because I know I need to refrain from telling her how I really feel. Any suggestions? -- PROTECTIVE MOM

DEAR MOM: Not all romances are guaranteed to last, as most adults find out after they enter the dating scene. At 19 -- learning disabilities or not -- your son is considered to be an adult. Part of becoming one is experiencing life with all of its joys and disappointments.

You cannot protect your son from sadness or predict how his relationships will turn out. Let him know that you are supportive of him always. Then, when you meet this woman, be warm and befriend her. Get to know her so you can communicate with her without her becoming defensive. You will gain nothing by seeming hostile.

DEAR ABBY: About 12 years ago, I found out my dad isn't really my father. It didn't change how I felt about him, and I wasn't interested in meeting my biological father.

Dad died a couple of weeks ago. During the memorial service, I ended my emotional tribute to him by saying that even though he wasn't my bio father, he was still my "Dad," and the love and memories I have of him mean more than any blood ties to my bio father.

My brother and one of my sisters had no problem with me saying this. My other sister, however, was very upset with me. She said letting church members know he wasn't my bio father was disrespectful. She was the only one who criticized me. Was I disrespectful, and was my sister correct in chastising me? -- LOVED MY DAD

DEAR LOVED: The eulogy you gave for your dad was beautiful, and it came from the heart. It was in no way disrespectful and you did nothing wrong. Your sister should not have criticized you the way she did, but when there is a death in the family, emotions sometimes run high.

DEAR ABBY: Around 12 years ago, I helped out an old friend I'll call Patty by creating an author website for her. I have maintained it for her ever since. She is grateful and gives me a gift every once in a while to show her appreciation.

Over time, her requests for revisions and updates have increased to the point that I dread receiving them. I'm very busy with a business I own, and I really don't want to do this for her anymore.

The problem is, I created the website using an obscure program she has no idea how to use (she's tech-unsavvy to begin with), so if I stop, I would be leaving her high and dry. Oh, and she has no money, so I don't think hiring someone to take over would be an option. The only thing I could recommend to her is that she start making a new webpage from scratch, using a free site.

I'm dying to let this go, but I think she'll be crushed, and I hate to hurt her. Any advice? -- OVERWORKED FRIEND

DEAR OVERWORKED: Explain to your friend that you have a business to run and you will no longer be able to give her the free services you have been. Then, if you want to keep the friendship, rebuild her a website on a platform that will be easier for her -- or someone else -- to manage in the future.

DEAR ABBY: My brother-in-law has always been a bully and a chronic liar. It has torn our family apart. He'll tell one family member one thing, and the other another story for the purpose of getting them mad at each other. He is also a narcissist. Innocent people have been victimized by all of this.

Now he is moving on to the elderly neighbors and lying to them about family members. Confronting him will do no good. We have tried. How do we get him to stop the bullying and lying? His wife is no help because she has been brainwashed and can no longer think for herself. Please help. Maybe by publishing this letter it will turn on a lightbulb. -- DESPERATE IN NEW ENGLAND

DEAR DESPERATE: Because your brother-in-law is now spreading misinformation among the elderly neighbors, explain to them that he has a "personality disorder" and a problem with the truth. Then give them some examples and, with luck, you can nip this in the bud.

DEAR ABBY: I have depression and anxiety problems. My dad sometimes forgets that I have it. I tried to kill myself a couple of times. I asked him if I can have a service dog for my mental health problems. He says I can't have one. I understand his reasons, but I think it would help me. I really need help. -- GOING INSANE IN WASHINGTON

DEAR GOING INSANE: I cannot fathom how the parent of a child who has attempted to commit suicide would "forget" it. I will assume that you are under the care of a mental health professional for your depression and anxiety. If you aren't, you should be. Your father may be more open to accepting the concept of a therapy dog if he hears it from your therapist.

DEAR ABBY: I have been dating my boyfriend for two years. He is 10 years older, in his mid-40s. He is wonderful, kind, smart, and treats me well. There is only one issue: He still lives with his ex-girlfriend from 10 years ago.

She and I do not get along. She infringes on my time with him -- has him run her errands, drive her around, etc. when I am at his (their) house. He also ends calls with me at night to talk with her, and his texts abruptly stop. Later I'll find out she was in his bedroom talking/venting to him about her current boyfriend or some other subject.

She recently put in an offer to buy a house that was accepted. After she moves out of the house they are renting, he plans to remain there and would like me to move in with him. Here's the catch: He says he will be going over to her (new) house to mow the lawn, rake leaves, take care of her car, etc. He says he runs these errands for her because she pays him. I have told him how much it bothers me. I feel he is placing her above me. Am I crazy for being upset over this? -- SECOND BEST IN VIRGINIA

DEAR SECOND BEST: You're not crazy. Unless your boyfriend is hard up for money, it appears there may be more to his relationship with his ex-girlfriend than he has revealed to you. If he was disconnected from her emotionally -- and possibly sexually -- he wouldn't cut your conversations short or hide the fact that he is texting you. Unless he rearranges his priorities, you should not only not move in with him, you should find a boyfriend with whom you're No. 1.

DEAR ABBY: My wife, "Riley," and I got married three months ago. I'm a corporate pilot and have been for most of our two-year relationship. Now she's telling me if I don't quit my dream job, she will leave me.

I signed a year-long contract with this company, so it will cost me well over $10,000 to get out of it early. She hates my schedule, even though I work only about 11 days a month. Riley thinks I have to be home every night, even though I warned her that because of my career, I would be gone a lot of nights. She knew what she was getting into, yet she's trying to force me into giving up this dream job or lose her. Please help. -- TORN IN THE SOUTH

DEAR TORN: Riley knew you were a pilot when she married you. You explained to her what that meant. That she would threaten to leave you because she doesn't like the responsibilities your career carries with it is immature and controlling.

If she was serious when she made the ultimatum, I think you should take her up on it. And before you marry anyone else, be sure the woman is independent. Then have premarital counseling to ensure something like this doesn't happen again.