DEAR ABBY: I am currently dating someone, and although it hasn't been that long, so far everything has been great. We each have two children from previous relationships. We have discussed the topic of marriage, having a child of our own and have even considered adoption.

One day he told me he wanted to tell me something. He ended up saying that before going into the military years ago, he "had" to marry his ex. Problem is, although they have lived apart for three years, she isn't his ex. They are still married. He said they have no interest in being together and have both moved on. When I asked when he plans to divorce her, he said he hasn't had the financial capability to do so. I don't know how to take this news. Any advice? -- THROWN IN NEVADA

DEAR THROWN: You need more information. Has this man been supporting his ex all this time, or is she self-supporting? Who is supporting the children? How much money does he think he will owe her if they divorce?

I'm not familiar with the divorce laws in Nevada, but an attorney who is licensed to practice there will be. It would be very much worth your while to make an appointment with one to discuss what your boyfriend has told you. You should do it before becoming any more involved with him.

DEAR ABBY: I'm writing in the hope you'll print my letter and, with your response, raise awareness about male breast cancer. A male family member was recently diagnosed with breast cancer, and in addition to the issues everyone recently diagnosed with cancer goes through, there are additional issues causing stress.

Because male breast cancer is so rare, all the pamphlets and information are aimed at women. As a result, my relative feels very alone. Besides family, he doesn't want anyone, including members of his church, to know his diagnosis because he's afraid of what they will think. Encouragement such as telling him his friends can offer additional support and prayers has gone nowhere so far.

Abby, can you share with your readers some information and resources for men with breast cancer? We would be very grateful. -- CARING FAMILY MEMBER

DEAR CARING: There is information about breast cancer in men online. If your relative will visit cancer.org and search on male breast cancer, he will discover an abundance of information on the subject. For suggestions about support groups, he should call the American Cancer Society's helpline: 800-227-2345. Your family member is not alone. I wish him a speedy and complete recovery.

DEAR ABBY: I work two jobs and took time off from my second job so I could watch my four grandchildren for a week when their parents had to go out of state. They did call the 14-year-old daily, but never once called or spoke to me during that time. Am I being cranky or is that disrespectful? -- FEELING LIKE DIRT

DEAR FEELING LIKE DIRT: I don't blame you for being miffed. It was thoughtless and ungracious of them not to ask to speak with you for a minute. However, if they didn't respect you, I'm sure they wouldn't have left their precious children in your care.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I live in a nice home in the desert Southwest with an in-ground pool and guesthouse. Our friends and relatives from back east have an open invitation to visit whenever they please. We enjoyed these visits until recently.

The problem is their ever-present compulsion to be connected to an electronic device. We are not yet retired, but in the past we didn't mind taking a few days off work to spend time with folks who came all the way out here to spend a few days with us. But it seems like nowadays our guests have their noses pointed at a phone or computer most of the time they are here. They have actually missed the beauty of our area, which we are missing work to show them, because they are otherwise engaged.

Is there a pleasant way to ask them to disconnect for a bit while we are enjoying their visit, or should I just get in the grumpy old lady line? I want our visitors to have a good time, but I find this behavior especially rude. -- ALMOST DONE IN THE SOUTHWEST

DEAR ALMOST DONE: It's possible that your guests don't realize how much time they're spending on their computers and cellphones. Because you are so turned off you are considering rolling up the welcome mat, explain to your guests that you have given them an open invitation so you can enjoy each other's company, and you are hurt that they spend so much time on their electronic devices. Nobody gets something for nothing, and it seems the "quid" has gone missing from the "pro quo" you have been offering.

DEAR ABBY: I am a male who was molested 30 years ago. It has troubled me into adulthood. Recently, my boss informed my crew that a convicted pedophile will be working on a trial basis on our shift. The moment he said it, it started setting off triggers in my head, and I am very angry about it.

When I told my boss about my childhood experience, he acted like he didn't want to hear it. Do I have any rights in this matter? I really can't work with a man who has hurt another child like I was. -- TROUBLED VICTIM

DEAR TROUBLED VICTIM: You absolutely do have rights. You have the right to request a different shift, if that's possible. If it isn't, you also have the right to look for another job. If that's the case, it will be interesting to know how many of the other employees will follow you out the door.

DEAR ABBY: A good friend's wife is currently in hospice care and not expected to live much longer. While I was at Walmart the other day, I passed through the card department and, because I was already there, I figured I would purchase a condolence/sympathy card. When my inner circle discovered I had bought the card before she passed, they criticized me to no end. I thought it was an efficient thing to do. I'm not wrong, am I? -- EFFICIENT IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR EFFICIENT: Oh, come on! There was nothing wrong with what you did. Many people buy cards of all types because they think the message is appropriate. You thought of your friend and his wife while you were in the card section, and it is the thought that counts -- not the date of purchase. If you made any mistake, it was in letting it be known that you purchased the card in advance. In a situation like this, discretion is key.

DEAR ABBY: My longtime friend of 30 years, "Charlotte," lives across the country. I have just learned that her husband, "Harold," is transgender and is now transitioning to become "Helen."

When they come, they always stay with us for several days because they can't afford a hotel. My husband is now very uncomfortable with them staying here or being seen out in public with them. Is there a way to tell Charlotte to come alone and still save the friendship? Or should I let them come and deal with my husband's feelings, which I think are unjust? -- UNJUST IN THE WEST

DEAR UNJUST: Talk to your husband and explain that he doesn't have to socialize more than he is comfortable with if your friends visit. If he still refuses, why don't you and he visit them this year? You could stay in a hotel while you adjust to the adjustment Harold is making.

I assume that your husband and Harold were friendly before. Perhaps if he and Harold have a chance to talk, your husband can get past his discomfort. It could be a valuable learning experience for him. Your support at this time would be a tremendous gift to this couple.

DEAR ABBY: My 22-year-old sister is unhealthily fixated on a particular cable TV channel. She will only watch this channel and is obsessed with the love stories and relationship movies. This goes far beyond a simple "like" for something, and I'm afraid she's using it as a way to avoid developing real relationships. She has few friends and has never been in a relationship. I have tried to get her to stop watching it, but it never ends well. How can I help her move away from the television set and into the real world? -- FANTASY VS. REALITY IN FLORIDA

DEAR F. VS. R.: Watching romantic movies with guaranteed happy endings (if only life were really like that!) is your sister's "safe" way of vicariously enjoying idealized relationships. Continue encouraging her to take some risk and join the real world by inviting her to join you in social groups. But until she realizes for herself that she needs to do it, it won't happen. Counseling could help her, but she won't accept it until she admits to herself that she needs help to develop the social skills she lacks and is willing to reach out for it.

DEAR ABBY: I have been dating my boyfriend for six months, and in many ways he's a great guy. One thing that irks me, though, is his tardiness.

This man can't show up on time to save his life. I have arrived at his house for a date only to find he has not even arrived at his own home yet. He is usually 30-plus minutes late for our get-togethers.

I have brought this up many times, and at this point I feel like a nag, but it's so disrespectful and rude to treat others this way. I'm annoyed to the point that I may break up with him for this reason only. Is my reaction well-founded? -- EARLY IN OREGON

DEAR EARLY: Your boyfriend is either extremely disorganized or just plain rude. If he hasn't been able to change his pattern in six months, he isn't likely to do it. You can, however, change the way you react to it.

Because you know he runs late, make your plans accordingly so you won't be kept waiting. However, if you can't do that, then rather than let it continue to stress you out, end the romance.