DEAR ABBY: I am going through a nasty divorce. My sons, ages 4, 11 and 12, live with my husband, 1,000 miles away. They will be with me for summer vacation. This will be the longest stay they will have with me, and I'm not going to lie -- I am excited and nervous at the same time.

My problem is, my children do not know I have been seeing someone, and we live together. How should I break this to them? They didn't get to meet him during the holidays when we were together. My new beau, "Sean," thought it would be a bad idea, and I took his advice.

I have asked Sean how he feels about this, and he said he loves me very much, but he is scared of my boys. I'm fearful of how my children will react once I introduce them. I am afraid they will want to go back to their father. My soon-to-be-ex-husband said he has told them I left them for a new beau, which is not true. How can I introduce them slowly, and what can I anticipate for a backlash with the children? -- TREADING LIGHTLY IN THE SOUTH

DEAR TREADING: Because you and Sean are living together, it's a little late to introduce Sean "slowly." Consider calling your older boys and saying that you will want them to meet "someone special who has made Mom very happy" and you are excited that they will be with you.

Suggest to Sean that if he's not used to relating to kids, he should schedule an appointment with a psychologist who can offer him suggestions on what to do. He should also sign up for parenting classes if time permits.

Once your boys arrive, schedule plenty of one-on-one time with them. Because of what your almost-ex has told them, it's important they know they are most important to you, and you did NOT leave them for anyone.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 66-year-old married man with two grown kids. I taught high school for 30 years.

A couple of years ago, a young English teacher, "Marci," was teaching a class in my room, and we became friends. Since then, we have been going out on Fridays after school to have a few beers. We just enjoy each other's company, but my wife thinks it is weird.

We have been married for 34 years, and most of them have been happy. It doesn't make sense to me that she thinks I shouldn't be hanging out with my former co-worker. I have started not telling her Marci will be at the brewery, when in fact she will be. I am recently retired and don't have many friends other than the people I worked with all those years. Am I being weird or is my spouse? -- CONFUSED IN OHIO

DEAR CONFUSED: You are not being weird; you are being dishonest. Your wife isn't weird, either. She's feeling threatened because you are "hanging out" with a younger woman.

Stop lying and start being honest again. Explain it to your wife the way you did to me -- that you don't have many friends other than the people you worked with all those years, and you would like to maintain those relationships -- at least until you can find new friends. If you invited her to come along with you, it might allay her fears.

DEAR ABBY: My father recently passed away. I wanted to be sure I was appropriately dressed for his funeral, so I shopped for the most conservative outfit I could find. When I arrived at the service, I was taken aback by what my sister-in-law was wearing. I told her I didn't think her dress was appropriate for the occasion. It was skintight and all lace. I told her what she was wearing looked like something worn at a cocktail party.

Once the words were out of my mouth I knew I shouldn't have said anything. I immediately apologized and said she looked really good in the dress, and it was flattering and rather sexy. My brother called the next day. He was furious and said that he had chosen it.

I feel like at a funeral the dress should be like what you'd wear at church or a business meeting. I may be wrong. I know I should have kept my opinion to myself and regret the comment I made. Should I just let time heal this? She and my brother are extremely upset. -- SAID NO TO THE DRESS

DEAR SAID NO: When people are grieving, they sometimes make comments they wouldn't otherwise. Apologize to both of them for your thoughtlessness and insensitivity, and hope they forgive you.

Many years ago, I attended the funeral of a friend in his early 30s who had died in a tragic accident. "John's" mother was friendly with mine, and we went to support her. John's fiancee, "Linda," was someone I also knew. When she showed up wearing an orange mini-dress, his mother was appalled. She told me she thought it was highly disrespectful. When I asked Linda later why she had chosen that particular dress, her response made me want to cry. She said she had worn it because it was John's favorite dress, and he loved seeing her in it. I learned a lesson that day: Someone's attire at a funeral is far less important than what's in the person's heart.

DEAR ABBY: I am an avid reader. Whenever I find an interesting article or story that I believe someone will enjoy, I cut out the article or copy the link and send it to that person. My issue is, I don't think they ever read what I send them.

When I bring it up during casual conversation because I think it would be nice to discuss, I find that the person hasn't read it and says, "Oh, yes, I'm going to read it," but I don't think they ever do. Is sharing pushy? Do people read anymore? Should I stop sending articles and stories? -- PASSING IT ON IN NEW YORK

DEAR PASSING: You may be overdoing it in your desire to share. If someone tells you twice that they didn't get around to reading what you sent, stop.

DEAR ABBY: Graduation is fast approaching, and the pressure is on. I am doing good in school, but work and school are draining all of my energy. How can I not be so tired? I can't stop work, and I definitely need school and college. Can you give me some advice for managing time so I won't be so tired? -- TIRED IN SOUTH CAROLINA

DEAR TIRED: Recognize that you are running a kind of marathon. Establish an ironclad schedule that allows you to get the rest you need, and don't deviate from it. I'm not saying it will be fun, but it will get you through and allow you to reach your goal without making yourself sick.

DEAR ABBY: I was married to my first husband for 13 years and was very close to his family. His parents and sister were like my own. We ended up divorcing, and it was an extremely painful situation on both sides.

His family wanted to stay in touch with me afterward because they still loved me. I felt the same, so we remained connected through Facebook and the occasional phone call. After I remarried, their phone calls became less frequent, but we still remain connected on Facebook and message each other now and then.

It has been six years since my divorce, and we are drifting even further apart now because they often post photos of my ex and his new wife, who has become their daughter in my place. It's painful because it's a reminder that our relationship is fading away. I miss them and the wonderful times we had together that we will never have again.

Sometimes I wonder if it was healthy for any of us to stay in touch since we will never see each other in person, and all our online connection does is make us sad that things aren't the way they used to be. Should I politely cut ties or continue holding on to the frayed ends of what tiny shred of closeness we still have? How can I let go of such wonderful people in my life? And yet, are they not already lost to me? -- HURTING EX-DAUGHTER-IN-LAW

DEAR HURTING: As the circumstances of life change, so can the intensity of relationships. It says a lot about the one you had with your in-laws that they have remained in contact with you all this time. However, you and your ex have remarried, and your lives have taken different paths. Because seeing posts of the new wife causes you pain, stop viewing them and concentrate your energies on the life you have now. If you do, you will be happier.

DEAR ABBY: I recently quit my job for several reasons. I was no longer satisfied with my work, and I was overwhelmed with the demands from my job and attending a graduate program at the same time. I told my boss I was feeling very stressed out working for them since starting my graduate program. She was supportive and said "the door was always open," and I was welcome to come back in the future.

Soon after quitting, I reached out to her twice for a letter of recommendation. To my dismay she never replied. I took it personally since I had worked alongside her for nearly five years. Abby, am I blowing this out of proportion, or should she have had the common courtesy to respond? Is it normal for businesses to ignore former employees when asking for a letter of recommendation for another job? -- CONFUSED IN THE WEST

DEAR CONFUSED: In some states, it can be risky for a company to provide a letter of recommendation. That is why if prospective employers ask for information, they are given only the dates the person was employed there, for fear of legal liability. This may be why your former employer was unwilling to write one for you.