DEAR ABBY: My 8-year-old daughter is seriously allergic to most animals, including cats and dogs. Even a little fur sets her off. She was recently sent home from school sick after she had borrowed a sweater from a friend who has a cat. We are working with an allergist, but this isn't something that's going to go away with simple treatment.

My sister lives in a different state and has invited my family to spend the holidays at her home this year. However, she recently started fostering stray animals for a local shelter and has between five and 10 of them in her house at a time, in addition to their two cats and a dog. I have told my sister we can't visit her with the animals there. Although she insists that she'll vacuum and it will be OK, there is no way this is safe for my kid. Even if we slept at a hotel, spending the day in a "furry" house will be uncomfortable if not dangerous for my daughter.

My brother-in-law has a mild allergy for which he takes over-the-counter medication. My sister refuses to understand that this is different. She thinks I'm being difficult and overprotective, and she's angry at me. She's also unwilling to consider coming to our house. How do I get her to see that this isn't about her, and I'm just protecting my kid? -- FUR'S FLYIN' IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR FUR'S FLYIN': Ask your daughter's doctor to please -- in the name of family harmony -- write you a short letter explaining that because of your daughter's severe allergy, she cannot be in an environment that hasn't been professionally sanitized, and simply vacuuming isn't enough to guarantee your daughter won't wind up in an emergency room. Forward a copy of the letter to your sister with a loving note explaining that you aren't trying to hurt her feelings, but your daughter's health must come first. Then stick to your guns!

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I married late in life, and while he has never been married before, I have an adult child from a previous marriage. My husband's parents have long passed away, but his two siblings are torturing him. They are exceedingly bothered by the money and time my husband spends on us, constantly complaining to him that his "blood" family should be more important than his new family. How can we turn this situation around other than cut them off completely (as his therapist has suggested)? -- FRUSTRATED SISTER-IN-LAW

DEAR S-I-L: Your husband is paying good money for the advice he is receiving from his therapist. What the therapist is telling him makes sense. You cannot change your greedy, envious in-laws. You will save yourselves a world of pain and aggravation if you take the advice you have been given and distance yourselves both physically and emotionally.

TO MY JEWISH READERS: Passover begins at sundown. Happy Passover, everyone! -- LOVE, ABBY

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have demanding jobs neither of us is crazy about. I sell insurance; she manages a hairdressing salon for a large company. At day's end I keep the events of the day -- good or bad -- to myself. I have heard the saying "Don't bring your family problems to work, and don't bring your work problems home," so I don't carry any "baggage" home with me. If something positive happens, I may mention it.

How do I get my wife to leave her work problems at work? It's the last thing I want to hear about. If I offer an opinion or respond to her, I get criticized and accused of not appreciating how hard she works. She has actually said, "No one else in this world works as hard as I do!" I would like to have an enjoyable evening or weekend with her and not have to hear about HER work problems. -- BAGGAGE-FREE

DEAR BAGGAGE-FREE: There is another saying that may help you to be more understanding: A joy shared is twice a joy; a burden shared is half a burden. If your wife can't discuss her frustrations with you, who else can she safely confide in? A word to the wise: Women often just need someone to listen.

Because this is getting to you to the point that you would write to me about it, rather than offer suggestions or opinions, it's time you tell her exactly what you have conveyed to me. Maybe you can agree on a time when these issues can be discussed -- once you both have decompressed from your demanding jobs.

DEAR ABBY: This is my suggestion for "Unfulfilled Grandma in Minnesota" (Jan. 15), the senior citizen looking to help young children. Schools need help! Contact the local elementary school. Speak with the principal. If the administration agrees with your intentions, you may be required to pay for the background check and fingerprinting.

My story: Our youngest daughter sent me a text. She indicated my grandson's kindergarten teacher was asking for help in the computer lab. Being a retired geek, I showed up the following Thursday, working for just an hour. After three weeks the teacher asked me if I would be willing to help her in the classroom for four hours every Thursday. I agreed. It didn't take my grandson long to figure out he got faster help if he addressed me as "Mr. ----."

After three months, I told my wife it was the best four hours of my week. Without blinking an eye, she smiled and said, "You know, it's the best four hours of my week, too!" Wait? What? -- FULFILLED GRANDPA OUT WEST

DEAR GRANDPA: Thank you for writing. Other readers also suggested that volunteering at a school can be a rewarding way for seniors to put their time to good use and help children. I heard from a "camp grandma" who volunteers at a YMCA summer camp, another who is a reader for 3- and 4-year-olds at a Head Start program, a child care worker in the nursery at a church, and a man who helps to make the children of Afghan refugees feel welcome in their new country through the No One Left Behind organization. Thank you all for these important acts of service, and for sharing the information with me and my readers.

DEAR ABBY: My husband went to his 45th class reunion a state away and hooked up with a classmate. Over the next few months it went from talking and texting to her sending him nude pictures of herself.

I found her emails professing her love to him. When I asked him, he swore nothing happened between them during the two weeks he was there other than a lunch date. After further investigation, I have discovered they had more than 30 hours of phone conversations, exchanged 4,000-plus texts and who knows the number of emails. Not only that, he bought another phone so I could no longer see the interactions on our shared cell account.

He finally admitted they did have a sexual encounter. He has now agreed to end all contact with her and work on our marriage. He has apologized, but I'm struggling to believe him because every time I found damning evidence, he would make up another excuse or blame it all on her. However, he never told her to stop or blocked her.

Is it time to cut my losses, or should I wait to see if he does this again? Why do people think having affairs is a good thing? -- CONFUSED IN MONTANA

DEAR CONFUSED: People who think an affair is a good thing for a marriage are deluding themselves. An affair only adds to the problems the couple was trying to ignore.

It's time for you and your husband to make an appointment with a licensed marriage and family therapist. Marriages can survive infidelity, but it takes time, full disclosure and hard work to rebuild trust. It will happen more quickly with professional help. If it doesn't work, THEN may be the time to "cut your losses." Only you can decide whether your marriage has been irretrievably broken.

DEAR ABBY: I was diagnosed with cancer two years ago. I had surgery and radiation treatment, and although my recovery was slow, I am doing well now.

About a year ago, a co-worker was diagnosed with breast cancer. Our other co-workers raised a large sum of money for her to be used at a spa. They have also offered her emotional support via phone calls, texts, visits and cards. While I don't begrudge her the gifts and support, I'm very hurt that all I received was a handful of cards, an occasional phone call or text and one visit from one person. Only one of my co-workers stuck by me through everything.

I see these people all the time, and I'm having a hard time with my hurt feelings. Any thoughts on how I can move on? As a sidebar, these people are always the first ones to ask me for help and support at work. -- HURT IN THE EAST

DEAR HURT: There is nothing to be gained by nursing this disappointment. You and this woman are different people and likely have different relationships with these co-workers. If you don't want to help the people you feel gave you short shrift by comparison, you are free not to. But if you intend to continue working at the place you now do, recognize that it is time to put this behind you and move forward.