DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend of nearly five years and I have been at odds during most of our relationship. We have had religious-based disagreements, arguments over my not giving him enough affection, his not providing financially, possible cheating on his part, and his wanting me to have a better relationship with his mother.

For about a year he has been pressuring me to stop taking birth control pills. I was always adamant about taking them because I do not want to be pregnant before marriage. He claims I am "playing God," and "I don't know the potential harm the pills cause." I don't think the pills are harming me, and I feel I can do with my body what I please.

When he told me to stop taking birth control, I asked, "When are you going to propose?" He says he'll marry me once I trust him enough to stop taking the pills and believe he'll step up to the plate.

I trust that he wants to be with me, but I can't help but feel he wants me to go against my morals and values and get pregnant before marriage. I see a life for myself, and he doesn't seem to fit in my vision. I know no one is perfect, but I can't help but feel we clash on too many issues. Should I be more positive and look at the good things in our relationship and try to ignore the negative? -- YOUNG PENNSYLVANIA WOMAN

DEAR WOMAN: If you see a life for yourself beyond this relationship, make up your mind to start living it NOW. Your boyfriend wants you to stop taking birth control pills because once you're pregnant (oops!) you will be tied to him for life, like it or not.

Step back. View this for a moment from my perspective: Here is someone with whom you have religious-based disagreements, who doesn't pull his weight financially, whom you can't trust not to cheat, and who will bring with him a guaranteed mother-in-law problem. It's time to do what you should have done years ago. Recognize that you can do much better than this and get out of there.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I live in Washington state. My son and his family live in South Carolina. I have decided I want to move close to my son and grandchildren. My husband doesn't want to move there. He has never been to South Carolina, but he has preconceived notions about what the people are like and has decided he wants to stay on the West Coast.

I know what would make me happier, but I'd feel guilty about leaving my husband. We have been married 27 years. (He is my second husband; my first died when we were 36.) My son is from my first marriage.

I need some objective advice. Am I being selfish? Is it wrong for me to want to move to be with my family? -- GUILTY ON THE WEST COAST

DEAR GUILTY: You are with your family -- your husband. Have you explored how your son and his wife would feel about you pulling up stakes and moving there alone? If you haven't, you should, because they may not be comfortable feeling responsible for you and being your only social outlet.

Since you asked, I think it would be foolish to sacrifice a marriage (I assume a happy one) that has lasted more than a quarter of a century. It's possible that you could visit your son and grandchildren several times a year without jettisoning your spouse, and because planes fly both ways, they could visit the two of you as well.

DEAR ABBY: I am a woman in my 30s working two jobs to make ends meet after a divorce. A few months ago, I met a nice gentleman who has been understanding about my situation and crazy hours, and we have a pretty stable relationship. Feelings have developed, and we're thinking about getting more serious.

He recently disclosed that he's actually very wealthy. He works full time and has a modest lifestyle, so the news caught me off-guard.

I enjoyed his company before the revelation, and I almost wish he hadn't told me. Now that his secret is out, he has been going over the top with gifts and offering to pay for things so I won't have to work a second job. Because I have always worked hard and offered to pay for dates, I have declined his offers, and I feel really awkward about accepting the extravagant gifts he insists on giving me. I think it's making him more attracted to me because I'm not like his past girlfriends who tried to take advantage of his wealth.

This may seem like a happy complaint, but I'm starting to have doubts about this relationship because it seems like we live in completely different worlds. I really like him and want this to work out, regardless of his money. Do you think there's a way to salvage this relationship and turn it back to the way things were? -- DON'T WANT THE GLASS SLIPPERS

DEAR DON'T: I sure do. Tell the gentleman exactly what you told me, or show him this column and tell him the letter was written by you. In a successful relationship, honest communication is essential. Now that you know more about his financial situation, things will never be the way they were, but by continuing the conversation, the two of you can navigate through this.

DEAR ABBY: I have been dating a man for three years. When we first met, he bonded very well with my three adult children. They liked him, and he was invited to every occasion.

My ex-husband is gay and is now married to his partner. We have remained friends and have even spent some occasions together. My boyfriend thinks this is totally dysfunctional, so I agreed that we would not spend occasions together anymore.

About a year ago, he started not wanting to participate in any event with my kids. We argued, and he said some nasty things about them. I was appalled. Had he just pretended to like them? He has had nothing to do with them for months.

My son is getting married next week, and when I told my boyfriend I don't think it's right that he come, he flipped out. Why would a man who didn't want anything to do with my kids expect to be welcomed at their wedding? Am I wrong? -- PERPLEXED IN FLORIDA

DEAR PERPLEXED: Your children are not wrong. You are not wrong. The man you have been involved with for three years appears to be determined to isolate you from those to whom you are closest, and it is a big red flag! This isn't a question of right or wrong. It's a question of whether you want to continue a relationship with him and, if so, at what cost.

DEAR ABBY: I am a new mother to a perfect baby boy. Everywhere I go -- the grocery store, my front yard, my daughter's school -- people ask, "You are breastfeeding, right?" Why should it matter to strangers whether or not I'm breastfeeding my baby? It has no effect on them whatsoever. It's a personal decision. What's worse is when I have formula in my shopping cart and someone stops to lecture me about breastfeeding.

People need to stop shaming mothers for using formula and quit asking questions that are none of their business. It's a personal choice and not up for discussion. As long as a mother is feeding her baby, she's doing a great job. -- MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS

DEAR MYOB: As well-meaning as these individuals may be, I agree it is none of their beeswax how you nourish your baby. Why not give them tit for tat? Tell them you plan to raise your baby without their input and you don't appreciate their comments. Then walk on and continue your shopping.

DEAR ABBY: As I write this, I am shaking with frustration. My dear dad died a week ago. I put an obituary in the paper and online that requested in lieu of flowers to please donate to two specific noncontroversial charities.

I'm sitting here surrounded by NINE plants and bouquets of flowers! I'm so upset each time another one is delivered. My house looks like a funeral parlor. I don't have the time to take them to a hospital, so I'm tossing them. I would like to help cure the cancer that claimed my dad. Each plant reminds me of a waste of money.

Please remind people to respect the wishes of the family. -- GRIEVING DAUGHTER IN WISCONSIN

DEAR DAUGHTER: Please accept my sympathy for the loss of your father. Your desire to contribute to cancer research is understandable considering the circumstances. It's possible that friends and acquaintances who saw his obituary didn't read carefully through it and sent the offerings on impulse. Or perhaps they did both. But your comments have merit, which is why I'm printing them.

DEAR ABBY: Why is love such a hard thing to find? I am a boy who often feels alone. I have never experienced true love, even though I often meet girls I'd like to be with. What holds me back is the fear of approaching and talking to them.

My fear puts me in despair, and I feel lonely. What would you suggest to overcome these feelings so I can find happiness? -- OUTSIDER IN HAWAII

DEAR OUTSIDER: True love is usually built on friendship. Friendships are generally based on common interests. What are the things you are interested in?

You call yourself a "boy," so I assume you are still in school. Consider joining clubs and activities that are offered there, such as sports, drama or music. Churches sponsor activities for youth, as well. Sign up for them and you will increase your chances of making friends.