life

Everything Changes After Man Reveals a Secret He Has Kept

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | April 3rd, 2019 | Letter 1 of 2

DEAR ABBY: I am a woman in my 30s working two jobs to make ends meet after a divorce. A few months ago, I met a nice gentleman who has been understanding about my situation and crazy hours, and we have a pretty stable relationship. Feelings have developed, and we're thinking about getting more serious.

He recently disclosed that he's actually very wealthy. He works full time and has a modest lifestyle, so the news caught me off-guard.

I enjoyed his company before the revelation, and I almost wish he hadn't told me. Now that his secret is out, he has been going over the top with gifts and offering to pay for things so I won't have to work a second job. Because I have always worked hard and offered to pay for dates, I have declined his offers, and I feel really awkward about accepting the extravagant gifts he insists on giving me. I think it's making him more attracted to me because I'm not like his past girlfriends who tried to take advantage of his wealth.

This may seem like a happy complaint, but I'm starting to have doubts about this relationship because it seems like we live in completely different worlds. I really like him and want this to work out, regardless of his money. Do you think there's a way to salvage this relationship and turn it back to the way things were? -- DON'T WANT THE GLASS SLIPPERS

DEAR DON'T: I sure do. Tell the gentleman exactly what you told me, or show him this column and tell him the letter was written by you. In a successful relationship, honest communication is essential. Now that you know more about his financial situation, things will never be the way they were, but by continuing the conversation, the two of you can navigate through this.

Love & DatingMoneyMarriage & Divorce
life

Woman Is Perplexed by Man's Attitude Toward Her Kids

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | April 3rd, 2019 | Letter 2 of 2

DEAR ABBY: I have been dating a man for three years. When we first met, he bonded very well with my three adult children. They liked him, and he was invited to every occasion.

My ex-husband is gay and is now married to his partner. We have remained friends and have even spent some occasions together. My boyfriend thinks this is totally dysfunctional, so I agreed that we would not spend occasions together anymore.

About a year ago, he started not wanting to participate in any event with my kids. We argued, and he said some nasty things about them. I was appalled. Had he just pretended to like them? He has had nothing to do with them for months.

My son is getting married next week, and when I told my boyfriend I don't think it's right that he come, he flipped out. Why would a man who didn't want anything to do with my kids expect to be welcomed at their wedding? Am I wrong? -- PERPLEXED IN FLORIDA

DEAR PERPLEXED: Your children are not wrong. You are not wrong. The man you have been involved with for three years appears to be determined to isolate you from those to whom you are closest, and it is a big red flag! This isn't a question of right or wrong. It's a question of whether you want to continue a relationship with him and, if so, at what cost.

Holidays & CelebrationsMarriage & DivorceFamily & ParentingLove & Dating
life

Mom Objects to Unsolicited Advice About Breastfeeding

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | April 2nd, 2019 | Letter 1 of 3

DEAR ABBY: I am a new mother to a perfect baby boy. Everywhere I go -- the grocery store, my front yard, my daughter's school -- people ask, "You are breastfeeding, right?" Why should it matter to strangers whether or not I'm breastfeeding my baby? It has no effect on them whatsoever. It's a personal decision. What's worse is when I have formula in my shopping cart and someone stops to lecture me about breastfeeding.

People need to stop shaming mothers for using formula and quit asking questions that are none of their business. It's a personal choice and not up for discussion. As long as a mother is feeding her baby, she's doing a great job. -- MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS

DEAR MYOB: As well-meaning as these individuals may be, I agree it is none of their beeswax how you nourish your baby. Why not give them tit for tat? Tell them you plan to raise your baby without their input and you don't appreciate their comments. Then walk on and continue your shopping.

Health & SafetyEtiquette & EthicsFamily & Parenting
life

Funeral Bouquets Only Add to Daughter's Grief

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | April 2nd, 2019 | Letter 2 of 3

DEAR ABBY: As I write this, I am shaking with frustration. My dear dad died a week ago. I put an obituary in the paper and online that requested in lieu of flowers to please donate to two specific noncontroversial charities.

I'm sitting here surrounded by NINE plants and bouquets of flowers! I'm so upset each time another one is delivered. My house looks like a funeral parlor. I don't have the time to take them to a hospital, so I'm tossing them. I would like to help cure the cancer that claimed my dad. Each plant reminds me of a waste of money.

Please remind people to respect the wishes of the family. -- GRIEVING DAUGHTER IN WISCONSIN

DEAR DAUGHTER: Please accept my sympathy for the loss of your father. Your desire to contribute to cancer research is understandable considering the circumstances. It's possible that friends and acquaintances who saw his obituary didn't read carefully through it and sent the offerings on impulse. Or perhaps they did both. But your comments have merit, which is why I'm printing them.

MoneyDeath
life

Boy Has Trouble Taking the First Step Toward Talking to a Girl

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | April 2nd, 2019 | Letter 3 of 3

DEAR ABBY: Why is love such a hard thing to find? I am a boy who often feels alone. I have never experienced true love, even though I often meet girls I'd like to be with. What holds me back is the fear of approaching and talking to them.

My fear puts me in despair, and I feel lonely. What would you suggest to overcome these feelings so I can find happiness? -- OUTSIDER IN HAWAII

DEAR OUTSIDER: True love is usually built on friendship. Friendships are generally based on common interests. What are the things you are interested in?

You call yourself a "boy," so I assume you are still in school. Consider joining clubs and activities that are offered there, such as sports, drama or music. Churches sponsor activities for youth, as well. Sign up for them and you will increase your chances of making friends.

Love & Dating
life

Time Takes a Toll on Wife's Figure and Husband's Interest

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | April 1st, 2019 | Letter 1 of 3

DEAR ABBY: I have been with my husband for 20 years. I'm 43, and he's 63. Our sex life has died. He is no longer attracted to me, and he has let me know it.

His love is physical, not emotional. I am not the size 4 I was when he met me. As long as my body looks like he wants it to look, he's into me. If I'm a size 8 or more, he is not at all into me. I have a hard time understanding how he can love me for how I look.

Long story short, my first love has popped back into my life. I have tested the waters with him, and I'm in over my head with the way he makes me feel. I haven't slept with him yet, but I have done everything but. The chemistry between us is undeniable.

I know I'm betraying my husband, and I don't want to hurt him. He is aware of this, and I don't know what to do. Help! -- MORE THAN LOOKS IN THE SOUTH

DEAR MORE: Before this goes any further, make up your mind about what you want and need. If it's a man who will love you for yourself, not your exterior, then free your husband to find a mate who will be a perpetual size 4. (Has HIS body changed over the last 20 years?)

Whether things work out between you and your first love is anyone's guess, but if you need the emotional security of sharing your life with someone who values you for more than your looks, the person to whom you are currently married doesn't qualify.

P.S. Time is on your side. In another 20 years your husband will be in his 80s and still trying to find a size 4 who thinks he is sexually attractive, while you'll still be in your prime.

Marriage & Divorce
life

Driveway Sleuth Discovers Unexpected Trouble

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | April 1st, 2019 | Letter 2 of 3

DEAR ABBY: I'm almost sure my wife is cheating on me. On her ladies' night out she has been getting home later and later. Someone drops her off at the corner and she walks to the house. The last time, I hid behind my Harley in the driveway to see if I could determine who is dropping her off. While crouching behind the bike, I noticed a puddle of oil on the driveway. Should I try to fix it myself or should I take it to the dealer? -- JIM IN IOWA FALLS

DEAR JIM: Jeez, that one's older than the hills! As intelligent as you are, I'm sure you'll make the right decision. Be careful not to slip on the oil while you're deciding.

Happy April Fools' Day to you, your wife and all my readers. And that's NO joke! -- LOVE, ABBY

Marriage & DivorceHolidays & Celebrations
life

Fat-Fingered Texting Lands Man Hot Water

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | April 1st, 2019 | Letter 3 of 3

DEAR ABBY: A couple of days ago, my boss texted me to ask if I could work overtime. I accidentally responded with a kissing emoji. Before I could explain it was a mistake, my 9-year-old grabbed my phone and sent her five more kissing emojis, two vomiting emojis and 10 poop emojis. When I tried to apologize, I accidentally sent her the middle finger emoji and the bikini emoji.

I got a call from HR later that day and now I have to go to sexual harassment training. Is there anything I can do to fix this situation? I want to let my boss know how the whole thing was a ridiculous misunderstanding, but I'm afraid anything I text will only make things worse. -- MISUNDERSTOOD IN MEMPHIS

DEAR MISUNDERSTOOD: I think you have already done enough, don't you? Pursue this further and you can grab your ankles and kiss your job goodbye. Happy April Fools' Day to you, too.

Work & SchoolHolidays & Celebrations

Subscribe

Receive Dear Abby Free Every Day


Next up: More trusted advice from...

  • September Sunshine
  • Talking to Strangers
  • Up North With Mom and Dad
  • Toy Around
  • A Clean Getaway
  • Patio Appeal
  • Grandmother-to-Be Has Mixed Feelings
  • Father Questions Son's Therapy Treatments
  • Fiancée's Devotion to Start-Up Frustrates, Worries Loved Ones
UExpressLifeParentingHomePetsHealthAstrologyOdditiesA-Z
AboutContactSubmissionsTerms of ServicePrivacy Policy
©2023 Andrews McMeel Universal