DEAR ABBY: Several years ago, I was diagnosed with a rare illness called Wegener's granulomatosis. Because of the way this illness has affected me, I have a hoarse, raspy voice and probably will the rest of my life.

The problem is, I get asked all the time by almost everybody I speak with, "What's wrong with your voice?" or, "Do you have a cold?" I'm a journalist who is on the phone constantly, so I get asked this question numerous times every day. Whenever I tell the truth (it's just the way I talk), people immediately feel bad, so I usually just lie and say, "Yes, I have a cold," or, "I have allergies."

My question is, what is the best response to give? I know people are just concerned, but I am so tired of being asked. -- JUST TIRED IN THE EAST

DEAR JUST TIRED: I see no way to prevent people who don't know you from asking the question. However, when they do, I think you should stick with the truth and allow them to own their bad feelings for having asked such a personal question.

DEAR ABBY: Recently I borrowed a power tool from a neighbor. When I tried to use it, it didn't work. So I called my neighbor and we tried to fix it with no luck. To be polite, I said I was sorry. He replied, "You could pay for it."

It's a fairly expensive tool, and I definitely did not break it. It never worked. Do I owe him anything other than to thank him? If it was something under $50, I'd probably offer to buy a new one to keep relations cordial. But under the circumstances ... -- IT DIDN'T WORK

DEAR DIDN'T WORK: Talk to your neighbor again and repeat what you said. However, THIS time tell him your apology was not an admission of guilt, but condolences and regret that you were the bearer of bad news. Then give him more bad news, that you will not be paying for something you didn't break.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have recently come across a locally owned Chinese restaurant that's affordable. The food is quite delicious. My wife takes issue with the Styrofoam containers the restaurant provides for leftovers. She claims they leak chemicals into the leftovers on top of being environmentally unfriendly.

On our last visit, to my surprise and consternation, she brought her own glass food storage container with her to the restaurant. Is it appropriate to bring your own container to restaurants for leftovers? -- LEFTOVERS TO GO

DEAR LEFTOVERS: I'm wracking my brain trying to come up with a reason why it would be inappropriate, if the patron doesn't mind the hassle of bringing it. In fact, it seems like an intelligent, environmentally friendly solution to an overcrowded landfill problem, as long as the restaurant doesn't object.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a high school junior, and my school's prom is coming up. I don't have a date. I completely understand that I don't need a date for prom to have fun. However, within my group of friends, we are organizing who will sit at our 18-person table, and I'm the only dateless person at our table, which means I'm the odd one out (eight couples plus me for a total of 17 seats filled).

I know I should try to have fun even if I'm the only one by myself, but the situation makes me feel so alone. I asked two different guys if they wanted to go with me: One ended up going with a different girl and will be sitting at our table. The other didn't want to go with me.

How should I handle this situation and be able to have fun at prom, even though I'll be sticking out as the only person in our entire group who couldn't manage to find someone to go with -- even as a friend? -- ANONYMOUS IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR ANONYMOUS: I understand why you would feel alone under these circumstances, but the truth is you won't be alone. You will be attending the prom with 16 friends. If you concentrate on that, you CAN have a good time hearing music you enjoy, surrounded by friends who are supportive and dancing if you wish to.

DEAR ABBY: My partner is addicted to the phone. One day last week she spent seven hours talking to friends. There is one friend in particular she spends upwards of two hours a day talking to. On weekends they often talk three times in one day.

This happens hour after hour, and her friend loves to call at 6 in the evening, meaning we often don't eat until well after 7. Last week I clocked her at 16 hours on the phone with just this one woman. Do I have a problem here? Or does she? -- CALLING OUT IN FLORIDA

DEAR CALLING: You both have a problem. Hers is her addiction to her phone. Yours is the inability to convey to her that what she's doing deprives you of sharing dinners together on a regular schedule, and robs you of time that could be spent communicating with each other. And that presents a danger to your relationship.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 27-year-old married man with two kids. They are 4 and 1 years old. I love my little family, and there has been a lot of "newness" to my life over the past few years.

My issue is that I'm starting to feel like I'm losing my identity. I no longer go out with friends because I feel guilty leaving my wife home alone with the kids. I also work a lot, so many nights I come home late and just crash. I have thought about taking a weekend trip alone to sort of reconnect with myself and get some things done, but would that be selfish? -- IDENTITY LOSS

DEAR IDENTITY LOSS: It wouldn't be selfish if you gave your wife the opportunity to take a similar sanity break when she feels the need. Or better yet, find a trusted baby sitter and the two of you go together.

DEAR ABBY: I take care of two girls. I have never asked for money from their dad. Because they are poor, I go to great lengths to make sure they get the same advantages as everyone else.

I took the girls to the hair salon because I wanted them to feel pretty. When it was the youngest girl's turn, the stylist found lice in her hair! She was at what they call an "infestation period." After that it's an infection and then baldness.

I went to their father and asked about the lice. He knew the entire time that she had lice and did not warn me or my family. Abby, he knowingly put my loved ones at risk! He isn't a good parent and doesn't make the youngest shower or take lice treatments. I know he doesn't care about the lice, so he's probably making her go to school despite the lice policy. What should I do? -- INFESTED IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR INFESTED: Among the "joys" of parenting is ensuring that one's children practice proper hygiene and their medical problems are treated. Father of the year this man isn't.

Of course he should have warned you so you could caution your children. He should also be watching his children more closely to be sure they shower regularly. Keep an eye on him, because he may be neglecting his girls in other ways. Could he be unaware that a head lice infestation can be treated? Because you are concerned about the girls' welfare, perhaps the school should be alerted.

According to the Centers for Disease Control, as many as 12 million lice infestations occur in the United States each year, and they are NOT caused by poor hygiene. While they may be inconvenient and cause severe itching, the condition is treatable, and they do not generally cause baldness.

According to kidshealth.org, head lice are "spread mainly through head-to-head contact, but sharing clothing, bed linens, combs, brushes and hats also can pass them along. Kids are most prone to catching lice because they tend to have close physical contact with each other and share personal items."

DEAR ABBY: I'm the product of my father's infidelity. My mother, who was 19, abandoned me. My grandmother took me in and raised me. I grew up very poor, but I made it. I got my college education plus a master's degree.

Actually, I think my biological mother did me a favor by leaving me because she's not a good person. She is now very ill, with only months to live. One of my half-sisters contacted me last night to let me know.

I don't hate her. I just do not feel anything for her. I'm 50 now, and she has never been a part of my life. I'm not sure if I should go and see her before she dies. -- UNSURE OF IT

DEAR UNSURE OF IT: Your half-sister may have contacted you to give you closure before your mother dies, or because your mother asked her to. If you have any questions you would like answered, you should go. Having never met your mother, I can't judge whether she's "not a good person" or simply someone who made terrible decisions and got on the wrong path when she was still a teenager. And I'm not sure you should judge her either, until after you have had a conversation with her.