DEAR ABBY: I met a really great guy online eight months ago. He lives in another country and we have been in a long-distance relationship for the last six months. We talk all the time, video chat frequently and have grown very close. I have never clicked with anyone like I have with him, and I know he feels the same.

We are having a significant disagreement about meeting in person. I'm willing to travel to his country. The expense, while not negligible, is within my means. However, he says he has some serious ongoing health issues and he wants to wait until they are resolved to meet. He has had them for much of his life, although they have gotten worse during the time I have known him. So far, there has been no diagnosis or treatment plan.

When I have asked, he says I should be patient and he doesn't want our relationship to be about waiting to do things because of his condition. Meanwhile, I know how much pain he is in. I see it every time we chat, and I know how much it affects him. It's not going to scare me away. I just want to be there with him, to see if we work as well in person as we seem to online.

I don't want to add to his stress by insisting we meet, but I also don't want to spend months or years with my life on hold, waiting for a perfect time to meet. What should I do? -- GAMER GIRL IN INDIANA

DEAR GAMER GIRL: When someone you meet online is reluctant to meet in person and interact with you fully, there is usually a reason. Having had these "health problems" all his life, one would think there would be a name for the illness and a treatment plan. Because he has neither, I question whether his health is the reason he doesn't want you to visit him. He may be in a relationship or not as he has represented himself in some other way. What you need to do is move on.

DEAR ABBY: My mother-in-law has the means to buy almost anything she wants. She's a shopper, a borderline hoarder, yet very generous to her children. She buys expensive and unwanted gifts for all her kids -- satisfying her shopping urges by getting us doubles of her latest cooking gadget, vacuum cleaner or 10-pound box of chocolate we shouldn't be eating in the first place.

While we're not poor, we sure could use the money she's wasting on these silly gifts. How do we tell her that it's awkward for us to receive an expensive vacuum when we need help with school tuition for our kids? Is it wrong for us to look a gift horse in the mouth, or insensitive of her to flaunt her purchasing power while we're struggling? -- REGRETFULLY UNGRATEFUL

DEAR REGRETFULLY: I'm not going to label your mother-in-law as insensitive or you as ungrateful. I do think the time has come for you and her son to have a frank talk with her and explain that, while you are grateful for the gifts, you could better use the money she's spending on them for help with her grandchildren's school tuition. If that offends her, so be it, but if she loves her grandchildren, I don't think it should.

DEAR ABBY: My niece (age 25), despite numerous warnings against getting pregnant, deliberately did three years ago. This was a result of an affair with a man who is in a live-in relationship with another woman.

My niece ended up in the hospital and had to have some serious surgeries. She lost her job and moved in with my sister and her husband. She's working again, but she and her daughter still live with my sister because she doesn't earn enough to support them (and gets no help from the father). She has recently announced that she's pregnant again by this same man!

My sister says she feels compelled to support my niece because she is concerned about her grandchild(ren). How do the rest of us "opt out," without seeming mean or judgmental? I feel sorry for the strain this is putting on my sister, but she keeps asking family members to help out as she is only working part-time and her husband is on disability. I don't feel it is our responsibility to keep supporting this self-centered, irresponsible adult. HELP, please! -- AUNTIE NO MORE

DEAR AUNTIE: Unless you and the rest of the family want to support your niece and all the children she may have, draw the line. Tell your sister that "the family" will chip in one more time, but the money must be used so she and her daughter can consult a lawyer about how to compel the deadbeat dad to assume his responsibilities toward his children. There are also state child support enforcement agencies that can help her.

DEAR ABBY: I started dating my next-door neighbor two years ago. We have known each other for 17 years. We hit it off, and after about a month he was spending every night with me. He's 72 and retired; I'm 55 and work full time. We have a great relationship, but I feel he is stalling about marrying me.

In the beginning, he said if we were together after one year we would talk about selling one or both of our houses and having just one. It hasn't happened. I make his breakfast each morning. Then I go to work and he goes to his house. He comes back at lunch to let my dogs out. When I get home at 5, he comes over and I cook supper. (He does buy some groceries and will start dinner every once in a while.) He then stays until I leave for work the next day. And he's here every weekend, too. He does go home to shower.

I think after two years he should know whether he wants to marry me or not. His last divorce was 20 years ago, and mine was seven years ago. I love him, and he says he isn't putting me off, he just wishes I could be "patient." I think it's stupid to have two houses when he stays with me every night. I pay my own bills, and he pays his. Do you think I'm wasting my time with him? -- READY FOR CHANGE IN SOUTH CAROLINA

DEAR READY: Whether you are wasting your time remains to be seen. After two years I don't think you are being "impatient" to want a commitment from him. That's why you both need to have a serious, lay-it-on-the-line discussion about what your goals are. If marriage isn't one of his, he should let you know NOW.

DEAR ABBY: My sister "Blanche" and her husband moved to the small town where my husband and I settled 23 years ago. Blanche is 11 years older than I am. My husband and I like our space, but we do spend time with them. They are retired, but we are still working.

Over the past three years they have not made any friends here in town to socialize with. They are now contacting my friends because we don't go out on weekdays and see them multiple times a week. Frankly, it's driving a wedge between all of us -- my family and my friends. I'm very resentful that they can't find their own friends. Am I wrong? -- GO FIND YOUR OWN FRIENDS

DEAR GO FIND: Feeling resentful is a waste of your time and energy. You can't control the social lives of other adults, nor should you expect to. Your sister hasn't kidnapped these individuals, so they must be socializing together willingly. This isn't a competition. Your friends are still your friends. You will be happier if you try harder to quell your insecurity.

DEAR ABBY: I love to cook. It's my passion. Problem is, when I cook for people coming over for dinner, my wife likes to sample the food before they arrive. What really upsets me is when I make a cake or something that needs to be served whole, she cuts into it and it looks like I'm serving leftover food. It's infuriating.

To me, the presentation is important. She couldn't care less. If I mark it "Do Not Eat" or hide the food, then I'm "wrong" or "going too far." Help! -- FOOD FIGHT IN NEW YORK

DEAR F.F.: Of course the presentation is important. Ask yourself why your wife would deliberately do something to ruin the meals you prepare for company. Could it be jealousy that you are the center of attention?

What she's doing is inconsiderate and disrespectful. If she's so hungry she can't control herself, she can make a peanut butter sandwich in an instant, or peel a banana in even less time. Because you must go so far as to hide the dishes you don't want "sampled," then I have to disagree with your Mrs. You are not going too far at all. Put your foot down!

DEAR ABBY: My best friend since childhood, "Jeff," died eight months ago; he was in a 57-year marriage. I have known his still-attractive widow, "Della," since they were newlyweds. I have been divorced for decades.

I have long admired Della at a distance, quietly, out of respect for Jeff. It helped that over the years we lived in different states. I believe she sensed my admiration for her.

How long should I wait before I begin showing my interest in her as a potential partner in our golden years? -- WISHFUL IN THE EAST

DEAR WISHFUL: Did you reach out to Della to express condolences when you learned of Jeff's death? If not, do it now. If she responds, follow up with a phone call -- and possibly a visit to her community and dinner if she's agreeable. Once you are in regular contact with her, you will be able to determine if the interest is mutual.

TO MY IRISH READERS: Happy St. Patrick's Day!

"May the most you wish for

"be the least you get.

"May the best times you've ever had

"be the worst you will ever see."