DEAR ABBY: My husband and I moved from another state four years ago. He went a year and a half before getting a job after we moved. Now he's out of a job again.

It has been seven months. He sits on the sofa and lounges around the house. He looks briefly for alerts on new job postings. He does a few chores -- not many.

He was an attorney, but he doesn't want to go back into the area of law he was in. He is getting no interviews, we're blowing through our savings and my job doesn't cover all of our expenses. I think he is unmotivated and lazy. At this point, I don't have much to say to him anymore except, "Did you look for a job today?"

It's sad what he has done to himself and his family. He won't discuss his career. I have told him just to get any job at this point, but then he gets very angry. I'm sure our children wonder why he is not working. I am afraid of the impact this will have on them and the example it sets.

I am close to hiring a divorce attorney. This is not the life I want. I'm emotionally and physically drained, and disgusted and embarrassed by his behavior. I have no one to talk to about this. We live in an expensive area with many educated professionals who don't behave like this. I'm sure if my friends and family knew, they would tell me to leave him. Help! -- CRUSHED IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR CRUSHED: Even if your husband can't find employment, he could be doing volunteer work and making contacts that could be valuable. Rather than show the anger you understandably feel, continue to encourage him. Consider this: Could he be having a midlife crisis or a severe depression? Before divorce, I urge you to see that your husband is medically and psychologically evaluated to determine what's going on. If he refuses, it may then be time to review your options.

DEAR ABBY: I was recently hired as a chauffeur in New York City. There was never any mention of how people should address me.

We are given information about the client we will be meeting. Some clients prefer not to be addressed as "Sir" or "Ms. X." I was told to always address my passenger using formal introductions such as "Good morning, Ms. X," unless otherwise instructed. I have noticed that all of my clients address me by my first name (the name given to them by dispatch).

I find it odd that it appears to be acceptable for the client to be informal with me, but I must be formal with them. Is this common? Should I ask the front office to give only my surname? -- INFORMAL IN NEW YORK

DEAR INFORMAL: It is very common. However, since it bothers you to be addressed by your first name, by all means ask the dispatcher to inform the clients that "Mr. Jones" will be their driver that day.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 30-year-old divorced male. I suffered from a stroke six months ago and have paralysis on one side of my body. After rehab, I returned home able to walk with a cane.

I have started texting a beautiful divorced woman. She lives next door, and we have been friends for more than six years. I don't know her age, but she's at least eight years older than I am. She has been visiting me frequently, and we have recently started holding hands while talking and exchanging hugs and kisses. My family is unaware of this.

Honestly, it has been a while since I have been in a relationship, and I want to pursue this new opportunity. But I don't know how to do it without causing problems with my family because they might think it is a forbidden relationship due to the big age gap between us. What should I do? -- READY AGAIN IN THE WEST

DEAR READY: At your age, the age difference is not important. Could your worries be based upon some feeling of guilt? If that's the case, my advice is to live the rest of your life as fully and happily as possible. Your neighbor is an adult; so are you. Let this relationship evolve naturally and see where it leads. And if it leads to something permanent, do not apologize to anyone for wanting to be happy.

DEAR ABBY: Some time ago, my husband developed a foot condition and was advised by his physician to wear white socks. The condition has subsided, but he insists on wearing white socks as a preventative measure because the condition was painful. Regardless of how he dresses, he wears them, and has been questioned about it when he wears a dark suit. Is it acceptable for him to attempt to prevent a recurrence of an uncomfortable ailment? Or should he follow the protocol of dress? -- PRACTICAL OR FASHIONABLE?

DEAR P OR F: It seems to me that your husband has a solid medical reason for wearing the socks he chooses. Suggest that he buy some short white socks, and when "protocol" requires it, wear dark socks over them. However, if he refuses, then protocol be darned. (Like the socks!)

DEAR ABBY: Some time ago, my husband developed a foot condition and was advised by his physician to wear white socks. The condition has subsided, but he insists on wearing white socks as a preventative measure because the condition was painful. Regardless of how he dresses, he wears them, and has been questioned about it when he wears a dark suit. Is it acceptable for him to attempt to prevent a recurrence of an uncomfortable ailment? Or should he follow the protocol of dress? -- PRACTICAL OR FASHIONABLE?

DEAR P OR F: It seems to me that your husband has a solid medical reason for wearing the socks he chooses. Suggest that he buy some short white socks, and when "protocol" requires it, wear dark socks over them. However, if he refuses, then protocol be darned. (Like the socks!)

DEAR ABBY: I was involved with a man ("Mike") I cared deeply about. One day he came to me saying he had a "secret" he needed to share. He explained that he was in love with another woman, and they had decided to get back together. I asked him all the normal questions. He explained as best as he could and apologized.

Three weeks later, Mike called me and told me he missed me and thought he had made a mistake. I went over and stayed the night. I didn't call him after that, but now he's calling me all the time.

Mike is still involved with the woman he broke up with me for. I have asked him repeatedly to leave me alone, but he is now offering me money and promising to pay my bills if I will be involved with him while he's with this other woman.

I need your advice. I could use the help financially, but I don't want to get involved with this situation because my feelings are at risk. -- FRAGILE IN FLORIDA

DEAR FRAGILE: I wonder if the woman Mike reconciled with has a clue that he is cheating already. He does not care about you or have your best interests at heart. He's attempting to put your relationship on a cash-on-delivery basis not out of concern for your financial difficulties but because he has no respect for your integrity. How insulting! Although you may need financial help, if you value your self-respect, turn him down. And from now on, block his calls because Mike is bad news.

DEAR ABBY: I have been living with intense grief and depression for a number of years. I have tried every way imaginable to deal with it, to no avail. I am no longer interested in fighting it. I have had suicidal ideation for years but haven't acted on it because of the pain it would cause my family.

Now it appears I have an answer. I have discovered that I have cancer. I have decided to do nothing about it and let it take me. I'm just not sure whether or not to tell my family.

I am inclined to say nothing until it's too late, but I fear this decision will cause them as much pain as if I had died by my own hand. I don't want to be here, and I don't think I should have to be simply because others expect it. I don't have a close relationship with my family anyway, if that has any bearing. We speak infrequently at best. Your thoughts, please? -- DONE WITH IT

DEAR DONE: I am sorry for your despair. You say your only question is whether to tell your family about your diagnosis because of the pain it may cause them, although you are not close and communicate infrequently. If you have truly made up your mind to refuse treatment, I vote for not informing them, which could be construed as trying to put them on a guilt trip. Everyone has a right to make this highly personal decision for themselves, but I hope you will remain in touch with your doctor, which may lessen any physical or psychological suffering you experience during the course of your disease.