DEAR ABBY: I recently had a baby, and I have been diagnosed as having postpartum depression. I have tried all of the prescribed medications but took myself off them because of the side effects.

The issue I'm having is I read a news story about a tiny baby who was scalded to death years ago by his mother. I think about that precious baby all day long. I cry, I scream and I have anxiety about hot water.

I started following the case closely (it's in another state) and have been spending my hard-earned vacation money ordering depositions and other documents from the case. I want some kind of closure on this, but I can't seem to let this poor baby go. My money is limited, which is why I can't/don't see a therapist. Any advice? -- OVERWHELMED IN GEORGIA

DEAR OVERWHELMED: Have you informed the doctor who prescribed those medications that you stopped taking them, and why? If you haven't, you should.

It is important that you talk with a mental health professional about your obsession over the death of that baby and how it is affecting your life. Because money is limited, contact your county department of mental health and ask what services are available on a sliding financial scale.

Please don't wait to reach out. Your own baby needs love and care, and that should be your focus.

DEAR ABBY: I recently started a band with some close friends. At the beginning, everything was going great because we all have similar tastes in music. However, recently the lead singer has gotten more and more attention-seeking.

It started out small where he would make jokes on stage and try and get a laugh out of people. But now he's getting really outlandish, wearing crazy outfits and overall just acting ridiculous. How can I help him get back to just caring about the music and leaving the antics behind? -- EAST COAST MUSICIAN

DEAR MUSICIAN: You have my sympathy. Tom Hanks wrote and directed a movie about this subject in 1996. It is called "That Thing You Do!" If you can locate it, I am sure you will find it interesting.

As destructive as the hardships of being constantly on the road have been for performers in the music and entertainment business, EGO can be equally so. Your bandmate may be trying his best to upstage the rest of you or may think a gimmick could excite your audience. Try talking to him about it, but accept that you may have to replace him. If that's the case, be sure the person you hire has the same vision for the band that you do, so this won't happen again.

DEAR ABBY: What is the best way to approach a co-worker regarding body odor? A number of people in my office have noticed it, and it's creating a problem when someone has to sit near him during a meeting. We don't want to cause hurt feelings, but we really need him to be aware. -- KEEPING OUR DISTANCE IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR KEEPING: This could be a medical problem rather than poor hygiene. Because it's a delicate subject, one that could be embarrassing for everyone concerned, this should be discussed with HR, the person's supervisor or the boss -- depending upon the size of the company.

DEAR ABBY: Nine months ago I met this incredible guy and we fell in love. We got along so well. He's smart, good-looking, has a great career and there didn't seem to be any problems.

Six months later, he casually mentioned that we are political opposites. Now I'm not that big on politics, and we all have reasons for being conservative or liberal, but when I asked him to explain his ideology, his answer was simply to slam the other side.

Is it ridiculous for me to end my relationship based on this? To me it indicates that we have very different morals and values. I made my position on social issues clear from the beginning, but he thinks I'm foolish to worry about things that "aren't true" and/or "won't affect me personally." I feel misled and betrayed, but I miss him a lot. I don't fall in love easily, and getting over this has been difficult. Am I overreacting? -- PRINCIPLED IN TEXAS

DEAR PRINCIPLED: While some couples can discuss their differences -- political and otherwise -- in your case your "incredible guy" seems unable to intelligently discuss them or articulate the reasons for his beliefs without denigrating yours. Without mutual respect, relationships usually fail.

DEAR ABBY: I used to take care of my grandparents. When my grandmother passed away 10 years ago, I took over cooking, paying the bills, laundry, etc. so my grandfather could stay in his home. He passed away three months ago and left everything to me. I have lived in their house for 24 years. I'm sleeping in the same bedroom I had when I first moved in. I like the neighborhood, and I plan on staying.

Now that my grandfather is gone, people say I should move into his (master) bedroom. And therein lies the question: What should I do with his bedroom furniture? On one hand, it holds special memories, so I'm hesitant to get rid of it. On the other hand, using it will feel like I'm in his room and not my own. It is made of big, bulky, dark, heavy oak that does not fit my style. I feel like getting rid of it is getting rid of him, but I also don't want to live in a "museum." How do I resolve this? -- CAN'T DECIDE IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR CAN'T DECIDE: Your grandfather has been gone only three months, and the rule of thumb is to make no important decisions while you are still grieving. It's practical advice, and those who follow it usually have fewer regrets than those who jump the gun.

For the time being, make no decisions about what to do with the bedroom furniture, which, although it may be somewhat dated, could be valuable, and someone may love to have it (a relative, an antique dealer, etc.). For now, move it into the room you have been using, and move yourself into the master bedroom. Allow yourself more time to make your decision, and when you finally do, you may find yourself ready to make some other updates to your property as well.

DEAR ABBY: When I was 18, I married someone who, at the time, I loved very much. It happened sort of spur of the moment. Not even six months into the marriage, he cheated on me.

I am now 20, divorced and finally feel ready to move on. But how do I go about dating at my age being a divorcee? I don't know how to talk about it. I have friends who don't even know I was married. How should I handle it? -- DIVORCEE IN ILLINOIS

DEAR DIVORCEE: Unless you are planning to meet men on a dating site that requires you to disclose that information as part of your profile, I see no reason why you have to mention it. If you are asked, however, be honest about your status. All you need to say is that you married, very briefly, at the age of 18, and it didn't work out because you were both too young. It's the truth, and there is no shame in it.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 39-year-old female, and I want to know more about my ancestors so I can tell stories about them to my kids. The thing is, my boyfriend doesn't like the idea, and anytime I say or do something, he criticizes me about it. He's also very controlling and manipulative. He feels it's his way or the highway. That's why I want out -- for the sake of my life and the kids. I have no money and nowhere to go. What should I do? -- CRYING IN WESTERN WASHINGTON

DEAR CRYING: I agree the situation you describe isn't healthy for you or the children. If you have no family to help, you will have to work toward independence in small steps. Contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline (thehotline.org or 800-799-7233) for suggestions on how to disengage from your abuser (oops! I meant "boyfriend") without any of you being harmed. Then find a job so you won't be penniless, and start saving your money.

DEAR ABBY: I feel petty complaining about this, but my wife has a habit I can't stand. We keep a stick of butter on a butter dish and replace it when it's used up. However, when my wife uses it, instead of cutting off thin slices, she scrapes her knife across the entire top of the butter cube, gradually whittling it down. Not only do I find it unsightly, but I also think it's unsanitary.

Needless to say, when I've mentioned it to her, she has strongly disagreed. I'm reluctant to bring it up anymore as it is settled, in her mind. I have tried using a different stick of butter, which I keep in the refrigerator and unwrap every time I want to use it, but she criticizes me for it, saying we shouldn't have two sticks in use at the same time.

I suppose there's an upside -- I'm using less butter, which my doctor approves of. What do you think about this habit of hers? -- BUTTER WARS IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR BUTTER WARS: It seems there is a power struggle going on between your wife and you. Because you have expressed to her more than once that you find what she's doing unappetizing, she should respect your wishes. However, if she continues, she should look the other way when you use your own butter stick.