DEAR ABBY: Nine months ago I met this incredible guy and we fell in love. We got along so well. He's smart, good-looking, has a great career and there didn't seem to be any problems.

Six months later, he casually mentioned that we are political opposites. Now I'm not that big on politics, and we all have reasons for being conservative or liberal, but when I asked him to explain his ideology, his answer was simply to slam the other side.

Is it ridiculous for me to end my relationship based on this? To me it indicates that we have very different morals and values. I made my position on social issues clear from the beginning, but he thinks I'm foolish to worry about things that "aren't true" and/or "won't affect me personally." I feel misled and betrayed, but I miss him a lot. I don't fall in love easily, and getting over this has been difficult. Am I overreacting? -- PRINCIPLED IN TEXAS

DEAR PRINCIPLED: While some couples can discuss their differences -- political and otherwise -- in your case your "incredible guy" seems unable to intelligently discuss them or articulate the reasons for his beliefs without denigrating yours. Without mutual respect, relationships usually fail.

DEAR ABBY: I used to take care of my grandparents. When my grandmother passed away 10 years ago, I took over cooking, paying the bills, laundry, etc. so my grandfather could stay in his home. He passed away three months ago and left everything to me. I have lived in their house for 24 years. I'm sleeping in the same bedroom I had when I first moved in. I like the neighborhood, and I plan on staying.

Now that my grandfather is gone, people say I should move into his (master) bedroom. And therein lies the question: What should I do with his bedroom furniture? On one hand, it holds special memories, so I'm hesitant to get rid of it. On the other hand, using it will feel like I'm in his room and not my own. It is made of big, bulky, dark, heavy oak that does not fit my style. I feel like getting rid of it is getting rid of him, but I also don't want to live in a "museum." How do I resolve this? -- CAN'T DECIDE IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR CAN'T DECIDE: Your grandfather has been gone only three months, and the rule of thumb is to make no important decisions while you are still grieving. It's practical advice, and those who follow it usually have fewer regrets than those who jump the gun.

For the time being, make no decisions about what to do with the bedroom furniture, which, although it may be somewhat dated, could be valuable, and someone may love to have it (a relative, an antique dealer, etc.). For now, move it into the room you have been using, and move yourself into the master bedroom. Allow yourself more time to make your decision, and when you finally do, you may find yourself ready to make some other updates to your property as well.

DEAR ABBY: When I was 18, I married someone who, at the time, I loved very much. It happened sort of spur of the moment. Not even six months into the marriage, he cheated on me.

I am now 20, divorced and finally feel ready to move on. But how do I go about dating at my age being a divorcee? I don't know how to talk about it. I have friends who don't even know I was married. How should I handle it? -- DIVORCEE IN ILLINOIS

DEAR DIVORCEE: Unless you are planning to meet men on a dating site that requires you to disclose that information as part of your profile, I see no reason why you have to mention it. If you are asked, however, be honest about your status. All you need to say is that you married, very briefly, at the age of 18, and it didn't work out because you were both too young. It's the truth, and there is no shame in it.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 39-year-old female, and I want to know more about my ancestors so I can tell stories about them to my kids. The thing is, my boyfriend doesn't like the idea, and anytime I say or do something, he criticizes me about it. He's also very controlling and manipulative. He feels it's his way or the highway. That's why I want out -- for the sake of my life and the kids. I have no money and nowhere to go. What should I do? -- CRYING IN WESTERN WASHINGTON

DEAR CRYING: I agree the situation you describe isn't healthy for you or the children. If you have no family to help, you will have to work toward independence in small steps. Contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline (thehotline.org or 800-799-7233) for suggestions on how to disengage from your abuser (oops! I meant "boyfriend") without any of you being harmed. Then find a job so you won't be penniless, and start saving your money.

DEAR ABBY: I feel petty complaining about this, but my wife has a habit I can't stand. We keep a stick of butter on a butter dish and replace it when it's used up. However, when my wife uses it, instead of cutting off thin slices, she scrapes her knife across the entire top of the butter cube, gradually whittling it down. Not only do I find it unsightly, but I also think it's unsanitary.

Needless to say, when I've mentioned it to her, she has strongly disagreed. I'm reluctant to bring it up anymore as it is settled, in her mind. I have tried using a different stick of butter, which I keep in the refrigerator and unwrap every time I want to use it, but she criticizes me for it, saying we shouldn't have two sticks in use at the same time.

I suppose there's an upside -- I'm using less butter, which my doctor approves of. What do you think about this habit of hers? -- BUTTER WARS IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR BUTTER WARS: It seems there is a power struggle going on between your wife and you. Because you have expressed to her more than once that you find what she's doing unappetizing, she should respect your wishes. However, if she continues, she should look the other way when you use your own butter stick.

DEAR ABBY: I'm writing regarding "Open-Minded in the South" (Nov. 24), the Christian woman who's a supporter of the LGBTQ community. She's concerned about her boyfriend's mother's inability to see her viewpoint and the effect it would have on future kids. I experienced something nearly identical. My boyfriend's grandfather is an ordained pastor, and they raised their kids in a conservative home. After a few conversations with them about LGBTQ people and other issues, we received a six-page letter detailing the "sins" we were committing.

Fast-forward 20 years: I get along with my in-laws fabulously. In fact, the grandfather has said I'm his favorite! We don't agree on pretty much anything politically, but I do still voice my opinion if the family says something I don't agree with.

My husband and I have two kids who often hear the in-laws say some judgmental things, and it's a great segue to a conversation with my kids afterward. They understand that not everyone is going to have the same beliefs, and even though we don't agree with the in-laws on these issues, we love them dearly. It definitely isn't a reason to end a good relationship.

As to "Open-Minded's" boyfriend not being up for the argument with his mom, he could be like my husband who HAS had conversations with them to no avail and realizes it's futile. -- BEEN THERE AND STILL THERE

DEAR BEEN THERE: My readers used "Open-Minded's" letter as an opportunity to have a forum about respect, love and civility. I found their comments both valid and refreshing. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: It is interesting that open-minded people are often open-minded only if you agree with them and are otherwise completely dogmatic. Neither party will ever convince the other that they are wrong. The solution: Don't talk about the problem issue.

We have a relative who holds office in a political party opposite to ours. We have a tacit agreement to simply never talk politics, and we get along great. Life is short, and there's nothing more important than family and friends. Agree to disagree! -- CALM IN KENTUCKY

DEAR ABBY: When people have an opposing point of view, it doesn't mean they hate you or are ignorant. Our culture is increasingly unable to engage in reasoned dialogue. Instead, people resort to shouting down reasonable thought and civil debate. My wife and I disagree over substantive issues, but we cope. Our society needs to work toward a renewal of civility. -- NO HATE IN TEXAS

DEAR ABBY: Both women are entitled to their beliefs and opinions. It's commendable that they discussed their differences. Now the question is, "How do I respond to someone important in my life with whom I disagree?" The answer is RESPECT. Rather than demean each other, the women should choose to find some solid ground on which to build a relationship.

To advise "Open-Minded" to consider leaving her boyfriend because of his mother's beliefs shocked me. In my family there is an array of different views. We all know where we stand and steer clear of the bombshells. We have chosen to love each other, accept each other as is and be as close as we can despite our differences. It takes some work, but it's worth it. We have even been able to joke with one another in a good-natured way. THAT is love and respect at its best, and more of what our world could use today. -- HAPPY IN KANSAS

DEAR READERS: I confess I wholeheartedly agree.