DEAR ABBY: I'm writing regarding "Open-Minded in the South" (Nov. 24), the Christian woman who's a supporter of the LGBTQ community. She's concerned about her boyfriend's mother's inability to see her viewpoint and the effect it would have on future kids. I experienced something nearly identical. My boyfriend's grandfather is an ordained pastor, and they raised their kids in a conservative home. After a few conversations with them about LGBTQ people and other issues, we received a six-page letter detailing the "sins" we were committing.

Fast-forward 20 years: I get along with my in-laws fabulously. In fact, the grandfather has said I'm his favorite! We don't agree on pretty much anything politically, but I do still voice my opinion if the family says something I don't agree with.

My husband and I have two kids who often hear the in-laws say some judgmental things, and it's a great segue to a conversation with my kids afterward. They understand that not everyone is going to have the same beliefs, and even though we don't agree with the in-laws on these issues, we love them dearly. It definitely isn't a reason to end a good relationship.

As to "Open-Minded's" boyfriend not being up for the argument with his mom, he could be like my husband who HAS had conversations with them to no avail and realizes it's futile. -- BEEN THERE AND STILL THERE

DEAR BEEN THERE: My readers used "Open-Minded's" letter as an opportunity to have a forum about respect, love and civility. I found their comments both valid and refreshing. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: It is interesting that open-minded people are often open-minded only if you agree with them and are otherwise completely dogmatic. Neither party will ever convince the other that they are wrong. The solution: Don't talk about the problem issue.

We have a relative who holds office in a political party opposite to ours. We have a tacit agreement to simply never talk politics, and we get along great. Life is short, and there's nothing more important than family and friends. Agree to disagree! -- CALM IN KENTUCKY

DEAR ABBY: When people have an opposing point of view, it doesn't mean they hate you or are ignorant. Our culture is increasingly unable to engage in reasoned dialogue. Instead, people resort to shouting down reasonable thought and civil debate. My wife and I disagree over substantive issues, but we cope. Our society needs to work toward a renewal of civility. -- NO HATE IN TEXAS

DEAR ABBY: Both women are entitled to their beliefs and opinions. It's commendable that they discussed their differences. Now the question is, "How do I respond to someone important in my life with whom I disagree?" The answer is RESPECT. Rather than demean each other, the women should choose to find some solid ground on which to build a relationship.

To advise "Open-Minded" to consider leaving her boyfriend because of his mother's beliefs shocked me. In my family there is an array of different views. We all know where we stand and steer clear of the bombshells. We have chosen to love each other, accept each other as is and be as close as we can despite our differences. It takes some work, but it's worth it. We have even been able to joke with one another in a good-natured way. THAT is love and respect at its best, and more of what our world could use today. -- HAPPY IN KANSAS

DEAR READERS: I confess I wholeheartedly agree.

DEAR ABBY: Valentine's Day is here and, to be honest, I don't know much about St. Valentine. So I wonder if he meant the day to only be about lovers.

Is there any reason I shouldn't send valentines to my friends? Why should anyone feel bad because they're not "with" someone? If you love and/or care about a person, can't you send them a box of chocolates, a card or some flowers? It seems to me this should be a time of year you can let a buddy know you appreciate him, or let your brother, cousin, sister, neighbor or co-worker know you care.

It doesn't have to be mushy. Happy Valentine's Day to you, Abby! -- TIM IN SYRACUSE

DEAR TIM: Valentine's Day may have started as a celebration of romance and romantic love, but it has broadened to acknowledge other kinds of love and affection. There's absolutely no reason you cannot celebrate the way you described.

Happy Valentine's Day to you, Tim, and to all my readers, for whom I have great appreciation and affection.

DEAR ABBY: My brother is a 59-year-old widower. He has dated a few women over the years, and he's very afraid of being alone.

The woman he is with now has made it clear that she is with him because he can provide financial security for her. She's pushing him to move in together and get married, but only after he sells his house and buys a new one. She said she could never live there because his deceased wife lived there. However, she is unable to contribute anything financially, so this would all be out of his pocket. He looks past all of this.

I have told him I'm worried about her using him for his money, but he doesn't want to hear it. How can I get through to him? -- WISE SISTER IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR SISTER: You obviously can't. However, his lawyer might be able to deliver that message more effectively than you. This is why you should strongly encourage him to have a talk with his lawyer before he sells his house or formalizes his arrangement with this lady, who has made her objectives crystal clear.

DEAR ABBY: My father passed away after a long illness four months ago. I lived in the same building as my parents, but a different apartment. (I still do.)

Obviously, I encounter other tenants in the public areas of the building. Since my father's death, most of them have asked me how my mother is doing. However, no one has ever asked me how I am doing. Frankly, it's very hurtful. Dad was getting hospice care at home, so I experienced his decline and finally the loss. Why does no one care to offer me any words of sympathy? -- STILL GRIEVING

DEAR STILL GRIEVING: When there is a death, many people are uncomfortable. They don't mean to be insensitive; they simply don't know what to say to the grieving relatives.

I assume that your mother and father are/were elderly. The death of a spouse after many decades of marriage can be so traumatic that the partner goes into a decline. Your neighbors may assume that because you are younger and stronger, that you are more resilient and therefore are doing fine. Please don't hold the fact that they haven't asked how you are doing against them.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 67-year-old single white man. My girlfriend is 21 and African-American. We have been together a year and a half and are deeply in love. We have lots of fun together and go out and do things.

When we are out together, people often stare at us. She's very attractive and turns heads. I tell her everyone is looking at her because she is so beautiful, but that's probably not totally true.

We want to be together, but I'm reluctant. The love feels good and true, but the rest is scary. We would like to have children, but she wonders if there is any risk in having a child with me. We have tried to break up, but we missed each other so much we got back together. We have a very active sex life. Do you have any advice? -- UNCERTAIN IN OHIO

DEAR UNCERTAIN: People may stare because of the large discrepancy in your ages or because they aren't used to seeing interracial couples. Because you are concerned about how things will play out if the two of you decide to start a family, it would be wise to get genetic counseling because of your age. While 67 isn't over the hill, the decision to embark on starting a family at that age may depend upon your overall health and the life expectancy in your family.

DEAR ABBY: Our friend recently got engaged to someone who is, well, terrible! This is her first real relationship. They moved in together and got a dog within six months.

He's a lot older than she is, emotionally manipulative and abusive. Before they got together -- a couple of months after his previous fiancee broke their engagement -- she talked constantly about how desperate she was for a boyfriend. Long story short, she was looking for love, and he appeared.

We're not the only ones worried for her. We have spoken with several mutual friends. We all have the same concerns but are afraid to approach her about them. He has damaged her professional and personal relationships and essentially clipped her wings.

She was a bright, kind and ambitious person with wonderful dreams before she settled for him. She has lost herself in this relationship, and we don't know what to say to her, if we should say anything at all. Help! -- NERVOUS IN THE NORTHWEST

DEAR NERVOUS: While it may be tempting, resist the urge to drift away from her because of him. Rather than remain silent, you and the others should point out the impact her fiance has had on her professional relationships. If he is as you describe, she may eventually learn for herself why his previous fiancee didn't marry him. And when that happens, she may need all the support you all can give her.

DEAR ABBY: Five years ago, my 26-year marriage ended in divorce. I am now in a wonderful new relationship. Do I have an obligation to inform my ex of my new status? -- DEBBIE IN THE EAST

DEAR DEBBIE: Heck no! Let your children do it for you.