DEAR ABBY: Valentine's Day is here and, to be honest, I don't know much about St. Valentine. So I wonder if he meant the day to only be about lovers.

Is there any reason I shouldn't send valentines to my friends? Why should anyone feel bad because they're not "with" someone? If you love and/or care about a person, can't you send them a box of chocolates, a card or some flowers? It seems to me this should be a time of year you can let a buddy know you appreciate him, or let your brother, cousin, sister, neighbor or co-worker know you care.

It doesn't have to be mushy. Happy Valentine's Day to you, Abby! -- TIM IN SYRACUSE

DEAR TIM: Valentine's Day may have started as a celebration of romance and romantic love, but it has broadened to acknowledge other kinds of love and affection. There's absolutely no reason you cannot celebrate the way you described.

Happy Valentine's Day to you, Tim, and to all my readers, for whom I have great appreciation and affection.

DEAR ABBY: My brother is a 59-year-old widower. He has dated a few women over the years, and he's very afraid of being alone.

The woman he is with now has made it clear that she is with him because he can provide financial security for her. She's pushing him to move in together and get married, but only after he sells his house and buys a new one. She said she could never live there because his deceased wife lived there. However, she is unable to contribute anything financially, so this would all be out of his pocket. He looks past all of this.

I have told him I'm worried about her using him for his money, but he doesn't want to hear it. How can I get through to him? -- WISE SISTER IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR SISTER: You obviously can't. However, his lawyer might be able to deliver that message more effectively than you. This is why you should strongly encourage him to have a talk with his lawyer before he sells his house or formalizes his arrangement with this lady, who has made her objectives crystal clear.

DEAR ABBY: My father passed away after a long illness four months ago. I lived in the same building as my parents, but a different apartment. (I still do.)

Obviously, I encounter other tenants in the public areas of the building. Since my father's death, most of them have asked me how my mother is doing. However, no one has ever asked me how I am doing. Frankly, it's very hurtful. Dad was getting hospice care at home, so I experienced his decline and finally the loss. Why does no one care to offer me any words of sympathy? -- STILL GRIEVING

DEAR STILL GRIEVING: When there is a death, many people are uncomfortable. They don't mean to be insensitive; they simply don't know what to say to the grieving relatives.

I assume that your mother and father are/were elderly. The death of a spouse after many decades of marriage can be so traumatic that the partner goes into a decline. Your neighbors may assume that because you are younger and stronger, that you are more resilient and therefore are doing fine. Please don't hold the fact that they haven't asked how you are doing against them.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 67-year-old single white man. My girlfriend is 21 and African-American. We have been together a year and a half and are deeply in love. We have lots of fun together and go out and do things.

When we are out together, people often stare at us. She's very attractive and turns heads. I tell her everyone is looking at her because she is so beautiful, but that's probably not totally true.

We want to be together, but I'm reluctant. The love feels good and true, but the rest is scary. We would like to have children, but she wonders if there is any risk in having a child with me. We have tried to break up, but we missed each other so much we got back together. We have a very active sex life. Do you have any advice? -- UNCERTAIN IN OHIO

DEAR UNCERTAIN: People may stare because of the large discrepancy in your ages or because they aren't used to seeing interracial couples. Because you are concerned about how things will play out if the two of you decide to start a family, it would be wise to get genetic counseling because of your age. While 67 isn't over the hill, the decision to embark on starting a family at that age may depend upon your overall health and the life expectancy in your family.

DEAR ABBY: Our friend recently got engaged to someone who is, well, terrible! This is her first real relationship. They moved in together and got a dog within six months.

He's a lot older than she is, emotionally manipulative and abusive. Before they got together -- a couple of months after his previous fiancee broke their engagement -- she talked constantly about how desperate she was for a boyfriend. Long story short, she was looking for love, and he appeared.

We're not the only ones worried for her. We have spoken with several mutual friends. We all have the same concerns but are afraid to approach her about them. He has damaged her professional and personal relationships and essentially clipped her wings.

She was a bright, kind and ambitious person with wonderful dreams before she settled for him. She has lost herself in this relationship, and we don't know what to say to her, if we should say anything at all. Help! -- NERVOUS IN THE NORTHWEST

DEAR NERVOUS: While it may be tempting, resist the urge to drift away from her because of him. Rather than remain silent, you and the others should point out the impact her fiance has had on her professional relationships. If he is as you describe, she may eventually learn for herself why his previous fiancee didn't marry him. And when that happens, she may need all the support you all can give her.

DEAR ABBY: Five years ago, my 26-year marriage ended in divorce. I am now in a wonderful new relationship. Do I have an obligation to inform my ex of my new status? -- DEBBIE IN THE EAST

DEAR DEBBIE: Heck no! Let your children do it for you.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I both got divorced about the same time, but his took much longer to become final. It is finally over, so we have begun talking seriously about marriage and starting a family.

During one of our conversations, he mentioned that his ex-wife doesn't intend to change back to her maiden name. I was shocked because she took advantage of him financially and was emotionally abusive all during their marriage. They had no kids, so it has nothing to do with her wanting to share the same name with them. They were married only a few years, so she isn't well established under that name, either.

When I asked him why she wasn't changing it, he told me she said his family was always nicer to her than her own. I suggested he ask her to adopt another last name of her choosing if she doesn't want to go back to her maiden name rather than be falsely associated with a family she is no longer a part of (or welcome in). He won't consider taking on my last name, so I'm thinking about keeping my own maiden name after our marriage until she changes hers. Am I overreacting, or are two "Mrs." too many? -- SOON TO MARRY IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR SOON TO MARRY: You are overreacting. When a man has divorced, his ex can retain his last name if she wishes. Some do it because they think it may be to their advantage socially to be associated with the family. I have heard of others doing it because they didn't like their maiden name.

Please keep in mind that after your wedding you will -- if you wish -- become "Mrs. John Smith." The ex can use the last name, but will have to use her own first name with it (Ms. Jane Smith) without reference to your husband.

Of course, if you wish to keep your maiden name, you are free to do it -- many women do. But if you make that decision, please do it for any other reason than because of the one you put in your letter to me.

DEAR ABBY: My mother used to go nuts anytime the cameras came out. No matter the setting, the celebration or how lovely she looked, Mom would fling her hand up and yell, "Get that thing out of my face!" even when other family members were in the shot. One day, in exasperation, I finally told her, "Ya know, Mom, someday the only pictures your descendants will have of you will be of an angry, scowling woman."

Abby, please remind your readers we aren't trying to persecute them when we want a picture. We just want to hold, share and save photos of the people we love the most, and the kindness and love in their eyes shouldn't be obscured by their hands. -- FINALLY GOT THROUGH TO MOM

DEAR FINALLY: Although we live in a self-promoting and selfie culture, many individuals feel the way your mother does -- like a deer in the headlights when a camera is aimed their way. That said, the point you made was valid, and I am pleased that she listened. It is for that reason I'm printing your letter.