DEAR ABBY: I have a close friend who is in her mid-30s. She's a wonderful, divorced, hardworking Christian mother of four who has finally ventured back to the dating scene. She's currently seeing a guy who in all respects is perfect for her, she says. Unfortunately, when it comes to romance, for some reason she can't seem to get aroused, and it's now at a point where she avoids his kiss if possible.
She really likes him and would love for this to work and feels conflicted because she doesn't know how to "light her fire" and find him intimately attractive. She's afraid she'll eventually push him away even though she wants the exact opposite. Any advice I can pass along? -- NEEDING A FRIEND IN THE SOUTHWEST
DEAR NEEDING: Your friend needs to understand why she's having a problem "getting her fire lit." Could it be related to her divorce? Her feelings about premarital intimacy? Has she seen her doctor to rule out a physical cause? Or could it be that although he looks good on paper, there's simply no chemistry?
Because intimacy is an important part of marriage, she needs to be honest with herself about why she's reacting the way she is. If this isn't the only man this has happened with, and she can't find the answers within herself, some sessions with a licensed mental health professional may be in order.