DEAR ABBY: I was married for 19 years and have three adult daughters from that marriage. I remarried eight years ago to a woman who has two adult children. My relationship with them is not good, in spite of my efforts to engage them in basic conversation. She told me recently that neither one of them likes me. In fact, she has suggested I just say hello and goodbye and leave it at that.

I'm not sure what I am supposed to do with this information. I don't think at this point in my life (age 66) I'm interested in changing myself to coax anybody to like me. I'm irritated with my wife for telling me her kids don't like me. If any of my daughters said, "I don't like your wife," I wouldn't mention it to her because I know she wouldn't want to go with me to visit them. My desire to visit either of her kids is now nonexistent. Your thoughts? -- UNLIKED IN OHIO

DEAR UNLIKED: I think it is interesting that your wife didn't tell you WHY her children don't like you, or if she did, that you didn't elaborate. Under the circumstances, your reaction is understandable, so stay home and enjoy yourself while your wife visits them. If you do, I suspect you will all be happier.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I just celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary and went away for a long weekend. Late in the second day, my wife said, "Don't get mad at me, but a guy who works for me asked me to bring him a souvenir." Then she told me she didn't want to get me involved.

My question is, why wouldn't she mention it at the start of the trip and instead bring it up two days into our getaway? It makes me feel like she was thinking of him on our anniversary. Am I reading too much into this, or should I be concerned? By the way, I wouldn't think of another woman -- co-worker or not -- during a getaway with my wife. -- UNSURE IN THE WEST

DEAR UNSURE: Please stop worrying. If you and your bride have had a happy marriage for 30 years, I'm guessing that on your special day, she was thinking about how lucky the two of you are to have had three blessed decades together. If she had anything to hide, she wouldn't have mentioned the souvenir. I'm guessing she brought it up because she didn't want to forget she had agreed to bring something and come home empty-handed.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend of 12 years worries me. He's a man who wants life to be like he wants it to be, not like it is. He thinks everyone owes him a discount on whatever he's buying. He can talk for what seems like a month, and while he never really lies, he never exactly tells the truth. This puts a huge strain on our relationship.

I love him, but I don't trust him. I have caught him in many discrepancies. When confronted, he sometimes will own up to them. What should I do? -- NERVOUS IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR NERVOUS: I think in your heart you already know what you should do. If you can't trust someone, there is no basis for a meaningful relationship. I wish you had written me about this 11 1/2 years ago, when ending the romance would have been less painful.

DEAR ABBY: I'm worried for my son. He's going on his first business trip in January -- to Japan. He doesn't drink alcohol. (He's not an alcoholic; it's his personal choice.) His bosses, who do business there frequently, are now telling him that the Japanese will not do business with you unless you drink with them first. Can you find out if this is true? And if it is, what can, or should, my son do? -- WORRIED MOM

DEAR WORRIED: Although alcohol can be a part of an important bonding ritual across East Asia, your son may be able to forge successful business relationships in other ways. According to Erin Meyer, a professor at the international graduate business school INSEAD and author of "The Culture Map: Breaking Through the Invisible Boundaries of Global Business": "If you don't drink, you can certainly find other ways to partake in the fun; in Japan, a round of karaoke or a trip to the spa can do wonders." Because your son is involved in international business, he may find professor Meyer's book, which was published in 2014, will give him valuable insight.

DEAR ABBY: I have some concerns about my marriage. My husband is a retired U.S. veteran. He was married before we got together, and his former spouse receives his survivor benefits. This was something that was decided during their divorce. I am not entitled to anything.

I have been a loving wife and have taken care of him for the 14 years we have been married. He has one daughter who is 40-plus years old. I just found out that I am not his beneficiary on anything -- she is! This has me very worried. Please let me know what I need to do about this situation. -- LOVING WIFE IN THE SOUTH

DEAR LOVING WIFE: What you need to do is discuss this with your husband to see if he will modify his will, which may have been drafted before he married you. Then the two of you should talk to an attorney, preferably one who specializes in wills and trusts. If your husband is not willing to make an adjustment, then consult an attorney on your own because, as it stands, your husband's estate plan is not fair to you.

DEAR ABBY: I have a large family. As the grandchildren are now adults with significant others, it's getting beyond my financial means to buy a Christmas gift for everyone -- something I have always done. I now have a brand-new great-grandchild. What do other grandparents do at holidays about gifts? -- AT MY LIMIT IN NEW YORK

DEAR LIMIT: Some grandparents set an age limit after which gifts cease. Some families have a "pool" from which names are drawn so each family member buys only one gift per family. And other grandparents tell their children and adult grandchildren the truth -- explaining that because they can no longer afford to buy gifts, from now on they'll be exchanging Christmas card greetings only.

DEAR ABBY: I have been seeing this guy for nine months. We had a good relationship, but then it hit a bump in the road. He was told some false information about me, and instead of giving me the benefit of the doubt, he immediately assumed it was true. He said nasty things to me, called me horrible names, and we didn't speak for a month. Once we came back into contact, I forgave him for falsely accusing me and put the episode behind me.

My mother is not as forgiving. She told me I can do better than him, and I should forget about him altogether. I tried to explain how I feel about him and how I want to move on from it. She hasn't had a change of heart and says she does not approve of him. So now I sneak around with him and leave my mother out of the loop.

I want to respect her opinion, but I do not want to give up the guy I love. I don't know what to do. Help! -- TORN IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR TORN: I can't salvage this romance and neither can you. There's a term for people who call others "horrible names and say nasty things" to them. They are called "verbal abusers," and the effects of what they say can be lasting. An example would be the way his accusations have affected your mother, who thinks her daughter deserves better, and your relationship with her.

Sneaking around is immature and dishonest. A guy who would help you do that is nothing to brag about. If he loved you as much as you say you love him, he would have apologized not only to you but also to your mother. If he had, she might have changed her opinion about him.

DEAR ABBY: This is a message about our senior population. Our children grow up, marry and have children. Each grandchild is special. We love them and adore being with them. Then the grandkids grow up and have little ones of their own. By this time we're old and sometimes need help with housework, yard work, or just would like to get out of the house to go eat or shop. We still have feelings, and we're not dead. But while it may not be intentional, it seems there is no time for the elderly.

We may say we're fine and don't mind being alone, but it is lonely at times. No one calls to say hello or ask if we need anything. How long does it take to make a call? It would be nice if each family member called once a week or came by once a month. The love we've always had for family is still there and strong.

Children and grandchildren, please think about this and remember: The most important thing you can give your elderly relatives is your TIME. Time is the most precious gift of all and doesn't cost a thing. Someday you will be old, too! -- WISE WOMAN IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR WISE WOMAN: I'm printing your letter because it carries a message that some families need to hear. That said, I am a strong advocate for individuals who advocate for themselves. Because your children and grandchildren don't call, perhaps it's time you picked up your phone and called them to check in and see how they're doing. And if you are not fine and need help with something, ask for it.