DEAR ABBY: Our family went away for a two-week vacation. One of my co-workers suggested I hire her daughter to stay in our home and take care of our pets and plants in our absence. The daughter is 20 years old and a student. We agreed upon a generous payment and paid her as soon as we got home.

Everything was fine, except our stockpile of Costco items (granola bars and juice boxes) out in the garage was nearly depleted. When I asked her about it, she texted me back almost in a joking way that she had helped herself and meant to replenish the supply, but it had slipped her mind. She had also "borrowed" a couple of items from our home she forgot to return (blow-dryer, a game and our wine glasses), but returned them once it was brought to her attention.

I was happy just to come home to my plants and animals being alive and our house in one piece. My husband, on the other hand, was not. He suggested I inform my co-worker that I won't be hiring her daughter again because she was very unprofessional. What is your opinion on the matter? -- HOUSE-SITTING IN THE EAST

DEAR HOUSE-SITTING: I agree with your husband. Although the daughter isn't a professional house-sitter, she should not have taken items from your home without permission or without informing you about what she had "borrowed." And if she was not given permission to help herself to the goodies in your garage, she should have left them where they were or offered to compensate you for them upon your return. I suppose the omission could be chalked up to immaturity, but I do think it should be mentioned.

DEAR ABBY: I have been dating this guy for 2 1/2 years. We started dating when he was separated and in the process of getting divorced. My friends and family have met him, but he has introduced me only to his friends. He didn't want me to meet his family until now. (I don't know why.) He has a 3-year-old daughter.

One day I sent him an article about "your kids shouldn't be the most important." Well, he became upset because he thought I was trying to separate him and his daughter. I tried to explain that the article says you should love yourself first, but he still misunderstood me. I told him I'm tired of him doubting us and my love. He isn't sure if we are going to get married in two years.

What should I do? I want this relationship to work, but at the same time I feel like he is dragging me nowhere. -- VERY INSECURE IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR VERY INSECURE: You say that although you have met this man's friends, you still have yet to meet any members of his family. Why not? After 2 1/2 years, this is a red flag. That after all this time he says he isn't sure he wants to marry you is an even bigger one.

Put your cards on the table with him as you have with me, and tell him you think it would be better for both of you to start seeing others because even after 2 1/2 years he still isn't ready for a commitment and you are.

DEAR ABBY: My 23-year-old son does not want to work and spends all his time playing video games. He's obsessed with them. He disrespects my house -- and me -- by not cleaning his room.

I don't know what to do. He's my son, but he is a user and feels he's entitled to live here. He pays no bills and blows all his money on gaming. He quits every job he has. I love him and kicked him out once, but he got on Facebook and told people what bad parents we are.

All he says is he wants to be happy. I think he's out of touch with reality. He has no place to go if I kick him out. What do I do? -- DAD WHO'S HAD IT IN OHIO

DEAR DAD: Your son is an adult, even if he doesn't act like one. Give him a deadline to find another place to crash -- perhaps with a roommate -- and be out of there. If he says he has no money, remember that he comes up with money to "blow."

It will take backbone to stand your ground, but you must not make your decisions and live your life based on what your son will post about you on Facebook. People often vent and exaggerate on social media. Your son is living in an altered reality because you have allowed it. If he isn't forced to stand on his own two feet, he never will.

DEAR ABBY: After my father died, I found a box of letters my late brother sent to the family when he was in the U.S. Air Force. He would have been in his 20s at the time.

The letters mention girlfriends, the woman he did marry and the time spent in jail as a result of a botched robbery. (It was very out-of-character for him, by the way.) He had a dishonorable discharge. After all that, he started a new life and became an ideal father until his 40s when he decided to divorce his wife of many years.

The letters reveal a lot about him. I thought his children might like this insight to their father, but my younger brother thinks it would be a bad idea. If this was my father, I would like to have these personal letters. What do you think? -- UNKNOWN IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR UNKNOWN: I'm glad you asked. Your brother's children are all adults now. Tell them you found the letters and ask them if they would like you to share them. I'm betting the answer will be yes.

DEAR READERS: Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, and no Thanksgiving would be complete without sharing the traditional prayer penned by my dear late mother:

Oh, Heavenly Father,

We thank Thee for food and remember the hungry.

We thank Thee for health and remember the sick.

We thank Thee for friends and remember the friendless.

We thank Thee for freedom and remember the enslaved.

May these remembrances stir us to service.

That Thy gifts to us may be used for others.

Amen.

Have a safe and happy celebration, everyone! -- Love, ABBY

DEAR ABBY: I have a nephew who is a Level III sex offender. My mom wants him at her house for the holidays, but none of the other family members plan to attend with their kids if he's there.

Mom insists we should forgive him and can't understand how people can't forgive him for molesting children in his family. I don't understand how my mom thinks it should be easy for us to forgive, but I feel bad for what she's going through. She feels like her family is being torn apart. How can I help her understand that I see both sides of it? What should I do? -- TORN APART

DEAR TORN: Go online and print out the definition of a Level III or Tier III sex offender so your mother can read it. These individuals are considered the most dangerous and most likely to reoffend. While at some point your relatives may be able to forgive your nephew for what he did, to ignore it could be dangerous for their children. Although you didn't mention the conditions under which he is out of prison, he may no longer be allowed to be in the presence of minors, because if he's caught, he might have to go back in.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married 40 years. Ten years into it, my wife had an affair with her high school first love, "Will," that resulted in a child. We raised the boy as our own.

Fast-forward 20 years. She has had another affair with Will and continues to want to stay in contact with him. She insists that she's in love with me, but says she also loves him and "needs him" in her life.

She will be traveling to her hometown soon and plans to have dinner with him. She insists there will be no sex and that her heart and mind are in a better place. Must I grin and bear this or insist on no contact whatsoever with Will? -- OTHER MAN IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR OTHER MAN: I understand why you would be worried. Where her high school sweetheart is concerned, your wife appears to lack willpower. You do not have to tolerate anything that is painful for you. Because your wife cheated with Will not once but twice, you are within your rights to insist that she have no more contact with him.

DEAR ABBY: My friend just died. I receive only Social Security disability, and I'm poor. I don't have a suit or dark dress pants, just blue jeans and T-shirts. However, I can afford a dark-colored dress shirt to wear to my friend's funeral. Is this acceptable attire for saying goodbye to my friend, or would it be better to say goodbye on my own after the funeral? I don't know his relatives, and learned of his death only today when a family member showed up to collect something I held for him. -- SAYING GOODBYE

DEAR SAYING GOODBYE: I'm sorry you lost your friend. If you would like to attend the funeral, by all means do. Funerals aren't supposed to be fashion runways, so wear whatever you feel is respectful and stop worrying about offending anyone's sensibilities. People are there to pay respects to your friend. No one should be looking at or judging you.