DEAR ABBY: I am wondering if anyone else has ever asked about this. I have had the same cleaning woman for three years. She does an excellent job and works hard. I got her the last six or seven of her clients. However, she has made little changes in the past when I'm not home.

For example, she reorganized a kitchen drawer and laundry room cabinet without first clearing it with me. Yesterday, when I walked into my laundry room, I noticed two pictures had been removed from the wall and rehung in my living room. Furthermore, she used three nails to hang them and left the first nail in the wall because she had made a mistake. I removed the pictures and returned them to their original spots. The three holes in the living room wall remain.

I live in an expensive penthouse. The holes are like bullet holes to me. This is not my apartment. I am a renter. In addition, I do not have the paint that matches, and I am not handy with spackle and painting.

My cleaning lady is very sensitive. When I asked her to let me know the night before if she needs to cancel, I almost lost her for good. I had to call repeatedly, and I'm walking on eggshells now. -- RENTER IN NEVADA

DEAR RENTER: For your cleaning woman to have done what she did was wrong, and you need to explain it to her so nothing similar will happen again. Sometimes it isn't what you say but how you say it. Hang onto your temper while telling her she has created a problem for you. It's the truth, and she needs to hear it. If her response is to punish you by not showing up, you are well rid of the woman.

P.S. Visit a paint store or home improvement store and you may be pleasantly surprised to know that paint can be closely matched these days if you bring a small sample with you. They may also be able to recommend someone who can fix the wall for a reasonable price, or offer guidance on how you can fix it yourself.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 58-year-old woman, divorced for three years. I was in a loveless marriage for almost 20 years. Over the last three years I have lost 45 pounds and have started going to online dating sites. I'm attractive, so I get lots of attention.

I post nice pictures of myself, nothing sexy. But the kind of attention I'm getting is not what I want. I'd like to meet a man and try to have a long-term relationship. Most of the men "say" that's what they want, too. But to be honest about it, it's not.

How can I come across as a woman who wants an LTR and not a "friends with benefits" or a hook-up? I don't sleep around, so those things just are not my cup of tea. What do I do? -- LOST IN THE ONLINE DATING WORLD

DEAR LOST: If someone wants to move your "relationship" to the next level before you are ready, you need to say you are not comfortable in moving so quickly. It's straightforward and honest.

It occurs to me that there are many kinds of dating sites, and you may be on the wrong ones. If you have friends who are also in the dating world, ask them which they use. But if you have no luck there, consider meeting suitable men the old-fashioned way -- by being introduced by people you know and who know you well.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a millennial, and it seems these days people stay at jobs for only a few years before moving on. That has been my experience in the past, but now I'm in a position that's fulfilling and where I am creatively satisfied.

All my friends are always looking for their next gig, but for once, I don't feel that way. They keep sending me job postings they think I would be interested in, which would be right up my alley if I was looking, but I'm not.

How should I respond? Does it say I'm lacking motivation or goals if I don't have the desire to leave the company where I am currently working? In this day and age, is it OK to stay longer at a company, or does that actually hurt your resume? Does it show a lack of drive? -- SEEKING GUIDANCE

DEAR SEEKING: Many millennials move from job to job because they don't like what they're doing or don't have the creative satisfaction you do, as well as other factors. Remaining with a company you like, being appreciated and fairly compensated for what you do, should not create a black mark on your resume. It's a sign of stability.

In terms of a resume, it's not just your work history that has importance or value, it's also your acquired skills, your community participation and relevant hobbies. These elements let potential employers get a well-rounded view of the person who's being hired.

DEAR ABBY: I received a Facebook "invitation to an event" from one of my local friends. Her daughter who lives out of state is expecting, and this is an "online shower." The invitation contains a link to her daughter's registry. There's no date -- just choose a gift and pay to have it sent to her. The daughter is fully employed as a high school life skills teacher, and her husband is a minister.

I always thought of a shower as a social gathering to honor a mother-to-be with gifts, see what gifts she receives, play games, have refreshments and visit. This new concept seems in poor taste to me. While I don't intend to participate, I feel rude just clicking on "Not going." Am I being a crotchety old relic? -- OLD TIMER IN TEXAS

DEAR OLD TIMER: In light of the fact that you didn't mention whether you know or even like your friend's daughter, I don't think you are being a "crotchety old relic." Because you received what I would call a stripped-down version of an "invitation," you should not feel rude in responding in the same fashion. Just click no, if that's the only option you've been given.

DEAR ABBY: I was widowed this spring and seem to recall hearing, years ago, that I should not send out greeting cards for the first year. Is this still proper etiquette? With the holidays approaching, I need to know whether I should or should not be sending Christmas cards. For some people, it will be the only way they'll learn of his passing. Thank you for your help. -- CAROLYN IN VIRGINIA

DEAR CAROLYN: Please accept my sympathy for the loss of your husband. If you feel up to sending holiday cards and would like to do so, by all means send them. I have never heard of any rule of etiquette that says you shouldn't.

DEAR ABBY: My wife, "Grace," and I have been happily married for 48 years. We're retired and enjoy an active sex life. Grace has a female friend, "Ricky," we have known more than 45 years. She's a close friend, and they often get together for lunch.

Ricky has been an out lesbian for many years and, in the past, had female companions. The problem is she repeatedly asks Grace to do things on Saturday evenings. She has also invited her to spend the night and tells her how much she loves her. My wife loves Ricky, too, but strictly as a friend and has not encouraged her in any way.

I'm not ordinarily the jealous type, but I'm convinced Ricky is in love with my wife. I have been tempted to tell her to quit making advances, but I don't want to cause the end of the friendship. I have told Grace how I feel, and she agrees. In fact, she has told me about some of the requests Ricky has made and she has rejected. I believe Ricky has crossed the line. What do you think? -- CROSSED THE LINE

DEAR CROSSED THE LINE: Your wife is not responsible for the fact that her longtime friend may be in love with her. I agree that asking your wife to spend the night is inappropriate, but Ricky may want more of Grace's time because she's simply single and lonely. The person to set boundaries would be your wife, who needs to tell her friend that her Saturday nights belong to you, and as much as she loves Ricky, she's unavailable as a romantic partner.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been together nearly four years. When we got together, he was in the process of gaining custody of his daughter because his ex abused drugs. We have raised "Arlette" ever since, and her mother is out of the picture.

Arlette calls me Mom, and we have a strong bond. Her father and I have a very strained marriage. We separated several times because he was abusive. I have been giving serious thought to leaving him, but because I have no legal rights to Arlette, I stay. I lost custody of my own daughter because of his abuse, and although my older children don't care for him, they, too, have a very strong bond with his daughter.

I'm unhappy and I do not feel this marriage can be saved. I am at a loss, though, thinking about leaving his daughter. She's only 4. How do I move on with my life knowing I won't have a relationship with this child I consider my own? -- LIKE MY OWN DAUGHTER IN FLORIDA

DEAR LIKE MY OWN: Because of your husband's history of abuse, my first suggestion is to contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at thehotline.org or by calling (800) 799-7233. Having lost custody of your own daughter because of his abuse, there is good reason to believe he would abuse Arlette if she is left alone with him. While you're at it, consider running this scenario past a social worker who is well versed in the ins and outs of the system.