DEAR ABBY: Recently something has come up in my life that has pushed the shaky relationship between my girlfriend, "Linnay," and my parents to the front burner. She insists they do not like her. Because of it, she rarely speaks more than a few sentences to them and dreads going to my house to visit them.

I don't think my parents dislike Linnay, but they do seem hesitant to interact with her, involve her in things our family does, and they don't seem motivated to create a better relationship with her.

Linnay has asked me to "fix" the situation, but I feel the way to make their relationship better is for them to work it out. What should each of them do to make this happen? And what can I do to help? -- ANONYMOUS IN TEXAS

DEAR ANONYMOUS: This is not something your girlfriend can work out on her own. Ask your parents why they seem hesitant to interact with her, why they don't invite her to things the family does and why they seem less than eager to create a better relationship with her. Linnay may be shy, or she may have picked up on not-so-subtle signals your parents are sending that they don't approve of her.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 11. My parents aren't in my life, so my grandparents are my guardians. I'm thankful for all they do, but I am very scared because my grandfather is 85, and I know soon he is going to leave this world. So how do I accept that? -- IN NEED OF A PRAYER

DEAR IN NEED OF A PRAYER: A wise person once told me that the way to ruin today is to spend it worrying about what "might" happen tomorrow. Many individuals a lot older than you make that mistake. It's clear that you love and appreciate your grandfather. Tell him that -- often. Hold a good thought and enjoy him for as long as the good Lord allows, because if your grandfather is in good health, he may last quite a while longer than you think.

DEAR ABBY: How do I get my roommates to do chores? I have tried talking to them, creating chore charts and explaining we will lose our security deposit if the house isn't taken care of. Nothing works. If I don't want sticky counters, ruined pots and pans, or trash piling up, I have to do it myself. Any advice would be appreciated. -- NOT YOUR MAID

DEAR NOT YOUR MAID: Whose name is on that lease? If it isn't yours, the logical thing to do would be find a place to live with more mature roommates who feel the way you do about clutter and hygiene. However, if it is yours, you will have to wait until the lease is up, get rid of those roommates and screen the next batch more carefully.

DEAR ABBY: When I was in my first year of college, my mother divorced my stepdad. "Charlie" was part of my life for 12 years, but since their divorce, she insists I have no contact with him. Charlie visits the state where I now live several times a year to see a friend and invites me to have dinner with him. I do, but because of Mom's demand, I ask him to keep our time together a secret. If she knew we were in contact, I think she would cut me out of her life.

Growing up, Charlie was a father figure to me -- a very important person in my life. Spending time with him is awkward, but it would feel wrong to never see him again. We were family for many years. I feel that as an adult, I should be able to decide for myself who I stay in contact with. I don't know the whole story about their breakup, and honestly, I don't care to know. Should I honor my mother's wishes and have no more contact with him, or go with my gut and keep him in my life? -- FORGIVE OR FORGET OUT WEST

DEAR FORGIVE: Go with your gut. As an adult, you do have the right to choose with whom you associate, and your mother should not be insisting upon it with no explanation.

DEAR ABBY: I have an etiquette question I can't find an answer to on the internet. My family travels a great deal, and there are always unattended wheelchairs parked around the airport. My teenage brother thinks it's perfectly fine to get in them and start playing with them, because "no one's using them." The rest of my family thinks it's rude to use a wheelchair as a toy. How do you view this and how should my parents explain it to him? Thanks. -- CLAIRE IN FLORIDA

DEAR CLAIRE: Assistive devices are not toys, and they should not be "played with" by those who don't need to use them. That's how I view it. Have your parents actually told your brother "No"? If they have and he does it anyway, it's time for them to act like parents, make clear that there are consequences for disobedience and follow through.

DEAR ABBY: My son recently graduated with a master's degree. He's a fine young man, did extremely well all through his schooling and has never given his father or me a second of worry. He has not been able to find a job. It's frustrating for him and discouraging, but we know he will, and we encourage him any way we can.

My question is how do I deal with the barrage of inquiries from neighbors, hairstylist, co-workers and friends who constantly ask if he has found a job yet? I am sick of it! It's none of their business, and I never ask them anything about their families' employment. Please help. -- MISSOURI MOM

DEAR MOM: Handle it this way. Say, "When he does, I'll let you know." Then change the subject.

DEAR ABBY: I am suffering from a depression I think many mothers experience when they become empty nesters. Although my husband is supportive, I miss my 18-year-old so much that sometimes I'm tempted to drive to his college in Florida. My husband and I have always wanted to live in a warmer climate, but he doesn't like the humidity in Florida. We had planned to move to Arizona once my son went away to college, but now I'm having second thoughts because the drive to Arizona from Orlando is twice the distance, and I don't think I can take his being that far away.

I have good job offers in Arizona, and family there as well, so I know it would be a healthier place for me to be. I just cannot reconcile with the fact that my son will be so far away. He will be in college in Orlando for the next five years, as he is in a master's degree engineering program. Am I being overprotective? He's my only son. I have real anxieties about this and have been seeing a counselor as well as my doctor, who prescribed a mild antidepressant. Is this normal? Should I stay put? Should I move? -- INDECISIVE IN ILLINOIS

DEAR INDECISIVE: While some degree of empty-nest syndrome is normal, what you are experiencing is not. Keep the conversation open with your husband about relocating to Arizona. Your son needs a chance to become independent as much as you need the time to allow it to happen.

You say your husband can't tolerate the Florida humidity. Is it your intention to impose it on him for the next five years? It would create unnecessary stress on your marriage. Further, what will happen after your son earns his degrees and is offered a job elsewhere? Do you plan to move again to be close to him?

Continue your counseling and meds. And while you're at it, find a volunteer project so you won't have time to sit and brood. With time, your anxiety will subside, and you will become less emotionally dependent upon your son -- which will be healthier for both of you.

DEAR ABBY: I have read many of your columns and enjoyed them. These days though, you seem to hear from more and more people who are afraid of saying what needs to be said. I suspect it can be chalked up to the "be politically correct" nature of our country lately. But why is it that when people do speak their minds, others consider them rude? I let people know when they are disrespectful to me in public, and I don't put up with being put down. Am I wrong in feeling that people who say mean things need to be immediately corrected? Or am I really being rude? -- FARMGIRL IN MISSOURI

DEAR FARMGIRL: You are not wrong, and it is not rude if you choose to defend yourself. What you are being is assertive, which is a healthy personality trait. No one should have to accept as normal social interaction being made to feel "less than" in public. If someone has a bone to pick with you -- and vice versa -- it should be done in private.