DEAR ABBY: My husband has an extensive sexual history. He has had sex with more than 80 partners. All the encounters were when he was in high school and in his early 20s. Most were one-night stands with female friends.

When we met, he was honest, and I was understanding. He didn't keep in touch with any of those females (pre-Facebook). But now he's friends with several of them on Facebook, and while he doesn't "talk" to them, he comments and "likes" many of their posts. This makes me uncomfortable because I don't feel that past sexual partners should be part of one's life once someone is married. I'm not jealous or insecure, I just think it's disrespectful. Am I controlling? -- ANXIOUS IN ARIZONA

DEAR ANXIOUS: Your husband was certainly active. Was he also able to keep his grade point up? You say he has been honest with you about his sexual history. Nowhere in your letter have you indicated that there has been any infidelity. I suspect that in spite of your denial, you may be feeling a bit insecure, and if your husband is telling you that you're coming across as controlling, that is the way he perceives it. "Liking" the Facebook posts of someone you haven't seen in decades isn't inviting the person to have an affair. If I were you, I'd calm down.

DEAR ABBY: How do I get across to my parents that I don't want them exposing my minor children to my mentally ill sister? "Evangeline" is bipolar, has borderline personality disorder and sometimes acts out in public. They know how strongly I feel about this but find ways to expose my children to her anyway. My kids don't want to be around Evangeline, but my parents continue to push her on them. I'll give you an example: They'll take the kids out to dinner and "bump into her unplanned" at a restaurant. I don't know what else I can do other than tell them I don't like it. But when I do, they refuse to listen and get upset when my kids tell me they saw her. Please advise. -- LOOKING OUT FOR MY KIDS

DEAR LOOKING: Mental illness isn't contagious. As long as Evangeline is on her medication, she poses no threat to your children. Is it beyond the realm of possibility that these encounters with her are actually unplanned? Sometimes people -- myself included -- get into the habit of patronizing certain restaurants because they are nearby and serve reliably good food. It's easy to fall into a comfortable pattern.

Because you feel so strongly about these encounters, tell your parents you prefer they take your children to places your sister doesn't frequent. However, if they persist in "pushing her on," as you put it, then you may have to consider restricting your parents' visits with the grandkids to situations you can control.

DEAR ABBY: Can you tell me why women wear high-heeled shoes? I cannot think of any benefits women derive from wearing them. Is it because they think high heels make their legs look more attractive, because it's the fashion or some other reason? -- BAFFLED AND CONFUSED

DEAR BAFFLED: Not only do high heels make the legs and ankles look more attractive, when a person wears them they appear to be a few pounds lighter because they look taller. THAT'S why! (Guilty as charged.)

DEAR ABBY: I have been dating my boyfriend just over a year. We live and work together, which I enjoy. He, on the other hand, expressed from day one that all he asks for out of our relationship is "space." I'm fine with that, but now it seems he needs more and more space. (An example: Spending nights at friends' because they go out drinking on the weekends.)

I have told him I think it's selfish because weekends are the only free time both of us have together. And lately, it has become a few weekends out of the month. My friends and family think it's bordering on inappropriate because when you're in a relationship, you want to spend time with the person you love.

I'm at a crossroads. Part of me understands where he's coming from; another part of me thinks it's a cop-out. I'm wondering if I should put up with it for now until we find separate jobs (if that will even solve the problem) or if I should kick him to the curb. Advice? -- MATTER OF SPACE IN FLORIDA

DEAR MATTER OF SPACE: A man whose idea of a good time is going out drinking with his buddies to the point that he can't make it home isn't ready for an exclusive relationship. While I don't advise "kicking him to the curb," if your idea of a satisfying relationship is spending weekends enjoying each other's company, tell him you need more than he's prepared to give you and it would be better if one of you moved out.

DEAR ABBY: My wife has fibromyalgia and Behcet's disease, an autoimmune disorder. We also have a 5-year-old daughter with special needs. My wife constantly complains about how much pain she's in as she spends most of her days smoking and playing on her phone. She refuses to exercise and flits from doctor to doctor trying different pills and homeopathic remedies.

I'm in the military. I work full time and go to college full time. I take care of the cooking and cleaning around the house. She has gained a tremendous amount of weight, and I am no longer physically attracted to her. I'm also beginning to feel like her illnesses are an excuse to take advantage of me. If I hear, "You promised to love me 'in sickness and in health'" one more time, I'll explode. I feel trapped and I want to run. What do I do? -- FEELING DOWN IN DELAWARE

DEAR FEELING DOWN: You are carrying a heavy load. But as tempting as it may seem, running away won't make your problems disappear. You have a child who needs you and a wife who is legitimately sick. It's time to explore what services may be available to you and your family through the military. A good place to start would be www.militaryonesource.mil. It is a 24/7 support resource for the military community that offers, among other things, face-to-face non-medical counseling.

DEAR ABBY: My husband, "John," recently returned from his fourth Middle East tour after having been gone for a year. As soon as he got back, his mother invited him and his two sisters on a vacation cruise for a week. He said yes, and they'll be leaving in a couple of weeks. The downside is -- no spouses allowed.

John and I are in our mid-40s. We have been married 25 years. I feel slighted, left out and, frankly, disrespected. I'm not sure how to bring this up to him or to his mom. I don't want to cause my husband, who is currently going through a difficult reintegration process, any stress. And I don't want to cause drama with his mother, who will regard my speaking up as an offense to her gesture for her children. Please help. Do I just keep my hurting mouth shut? -- HURTING IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR HURTING: Because your husband is having a difficult time reintegrating, I do think you should keep your mouth closed. The reason you and the other spouses weren't invited may have been the cost involved. If it wasn't, then Mama may have wanted her "brood" around her and no one else.

You say you and your husband have been married 25 years. That would make you a military wife. By definition, military wives are resilient and independent. If you feel you will be at loose ends while your husband is with his mother and siblings, I suggest you and the other "excluded spouses" plan some activities together to pass the time. If you all like each other, you could have a ball.

Later, when the time is right, you and your husband could plan a private getaway just for the two of you.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married for almost a year to an amazing man who surprised me with a stunning, large engagement ring. I'm a modest, humble person and often find myself hiding the ring because -- although I love it -- I don't like the attention it brings. My proud mother-in-law often brags about the ring to others. She recently started working at the same place I do and has been showing off the ring (on my finger) to my co-workers. It makes me very uncomfortable because I like to stay as professional as possible.

My mother-in-law is so sweet that I don't want to hurt her feelings. I also don't want to stop wearing my ring to work because it is so special to me. What do I do? -- SPARKLES PLENTY IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR SPARKLES PLENTY: It's a little late to do anything now because most of your co-workers have probably seen your ring. What you should have done when your mother-in-law first drew attention to it was take her aside and ask her privately to stop because you are a humble person and also concerned it might incite jealousy.

DEAR ABBY: Is there such thing as love at first sight? -- A PENNY FOR YOUR THOUGHTS

DEAR PENNY: There is such a thing as strong mutual attraction at first sight. But love doesn't happen in an instant. Love requires actually getting to know someone.