DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend is divorced. His ex's name is tattooed on his arm. Although I don't like it, I realize that it was long ago and before I came into the picture.

As we have grown closer over the last two years, I'm often tempted to ask him to have it removed or covered up. I think it's tacky, and I don't like it at all. I know I can't demand he remove it, but would a gentle request do? Or should I wait until I have more of a formal status in his life? -- LOOKING AWAY IN THE SOUTH

DEAR LOOKING AWAY: Tattoo removal isn't as easy as waving a magic wand and presto! -- it's gone. The process can take several sessions, can be quite painful, and it must be done by a professional. If this is so important to you that you would put him through that, then ask him nicely. When you do it is up to you. You could jokingly ask him to have a circle with a diagonal line through it added to his ex's name.

DEAR ABBY: My best friend of 25 years just got engaged. I suspect her fiance is gay or there's something seriously wrong with him. They have been dating for eight months and he hasn't once tried to have sex with her. He has used every excuse under the sun as to why (bad back, tired, etc.).

He recently proposed to her in a public place in front of his family. I don't think he knows the real her, and I don't think she understands the serious implications of her decision to marry him when sexual intimacy was so important to her before. She once told me she would not marry a man without first having sex with him, and that a sexless life is her biggest fear. I feel I should speak up as her best friend. Should I? -- SEEING RED FLAGS IN GEORGIA

DEAR SEEING: Yes. And when you do, urge her to get into premarital counseling with her fiance. During the sessions, matters like sex, finances and child-rearing should be discussed so there won't be any "surprises" later. Repeat your suggestion, if necessary, until she reaches the altar. Let's hope she listens to you because his fatigue and bad back won't magically disappear after they say "I do."

DEAR ABBY: A little backstory before my question. I am 39 and the mother of three beautiful daughters, ages 18, 12 and 8. I am getting a divorce. It's an amicable one (thank goodness), and my girls are doing pretty OK with the news.

During this last year, I graduated with my AA degree. I am very proud of the achievement, but have never had a celebration. Would it be in bad taste to have a housewarming, graduation and almost-40 birthday party (my birthday is on a major holiday, and my friends are usually busy doing other things that night) and ask for gifts for my new house and the girls' bedrooms? -- CELEBRATING IN IDAHO

DEAR CELEBRATING: A party would be wonderful because you have much to celebrate. Send invitations describing it as a "housewarming, graduation celebration and 40th birthday party," but do NOT mention gifts on the invitation. If someone asks about it, feel free to tell the person. But to ask for gifts on an invitation is a no-no.

DEAR ABBY: I have been dating the most amazing man for the past 11 months. As we approach the one-year anniversary of the day we met, this "perfect" man is showing some not-so-perfect traits. I was unlucky in love for many years until he swept me off my feet. We have both become extremely close with each other's respective friends and family.

He's everything I have been searching for in a life partner and husband. But when he drinks, he confides his deep fears of dating me and enumerates each and every one of my relationship insecurities -- nagging, anxiety, loneliness, etc. The next day he acts like nothing happened! He swears up and down that it was the alcohol talking and he doesn't mean any of the harsh words he spoke the night before.

Should I believe him? Please don't let me be the naive girl traveling down a dark rabbit hole. -- SELF-CONSCIOUS GIRLFRIEND

DEAR GIRLFRIEND: Your "amazing" man appears to be a loose-lipped lush. Not knowing him, I can't guess the degree to which he blacks out when he's been drinking. Some alcoholics don't remember what happened the night before. Others simply don't want to remember, so they claim amnesia.

Regardless of how you feel about him, for your own well-being, draw the line and tell him he needs to stop drinking. If he's as alcohol-dependent as I suspect he is, he will give you an argument or an outright refusal. And that's your cue to tell him if he wants a future with you, he will have to make a choice.

DEAR ABBY: My in-laws are angry that I have declined to host them over the holidays this year. My husband is never helpful. When company comes, he sits on his mobile phone while I do everything. I told his parents I can't have them over because all the responsibility falls on me. My "no" should suffice, but my mother-in-law hopes to argue me into hosting.

We don't have children because I knew I would end up raising them alone. I don't want the in-laws here "hinting" that they need us to help them when my husband won't lift a finger.

I recently became disabled, and my in-laws keep pressuring me to share my diagnosis with them. They think I should cheerfully do all the work of hosting them as a way to fight my disability!

They are extremely nosy. I am now blocking her calls. I know they will spend their time here trying to get a look at my medications and any financial information left out. What else can I do? -- UNMERRY IN LOUISIANA

DEAR UNMERRY: You should all try to achieve a workable compromise, if that's possible. Ask your MIL if she's prepared to take some of the responsibility off your shoulders if she and her husband visit. Suggest they stay in a hotel or motel rather than burden you. And your husband (their son) should back you up on this.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married for 27 years and have three wonderful kids. The youngest is 16.

I recently found out I may have another son from a relationship prior to my marriage. The woman never notified me or asked for child support. I found out through someone else a couple of months ago and, thanks to social media, was able to find him and look at his picture. He looks exactly like I did 25 years ago.

The problem is, when I mentioned it to my wife, she did not want to discuss the possibility. She acts like nothing happened and asked me not to bring it up again. What would you recommend in a situation like this? Should I say nothing and let it be, or risk ruining my marriage? -- VACILLATING IN VIRGINIA

DEAR VACILLATING: I find it interesting that someone would know you possibly had another son all this time and didn't say anything sooner. If it's true, the young man might like to know, if only so he can have a complete familial medical history.

I don't see how establishing the truth could "ruin" your marriage unless your wife is self-centered and immature. However, rather than suddenly appear out of nowhere with the news, it might be better to reach out to the woman you had the relationship with, tell her what the friend told you and ask her if it's true.

If she concealed the information from her son or from the man who raised him, possibly thinking the boy was his, it could be traumatic for everyone concerned. So, if you do decide to move forward on this, explain that if it's true, you think it might be in her son's best interests to know.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter, a widow, started going out with men she meets on dating websites last year. She has three children; the youngest is 10. She has a full-time job and doesn't smoke, drink or use drugs. She goes out five to seven times a week.

I have all the responsibility for the children's care, school, church, laundry, cooking, etc. I'm feeling very overburdened. While I don't mind doing all these things, I feel taken advantage of. Am I wrong or is it now normal for a mother to go out that much? When she's home, she's constantly checking her texts and social media. Please advise. -- USED IN TEXAS

DEAR USED: You are a caring, loving, responsible mother and grandmother. However, you are also an enabler. You are allowing yourself to be used.

Your daughter appears to be immature and centered entirely on herself. It is not "normal" for a mother to be out socializing as often as your daughter is. To ignore her children in favor of social media to the extent that you described is neglectful. You are entitled to a life of your own, so stop doing your daughter's job as much as you have been and start doing some things for yourself.