DEAR ABBY: I have been married for 27 years and have three wonderful kids. The youngest is 16.

I recently found out I may have another son from a relationship prior to my marriage. The woman never notified me or asked for child support. I found out through someone else a couple of months ago and, thanks to social media, was able to find him and look at his picture. He looks exactly like I did 25 years ago.

The problem is, when I mentioned it to my wife, she did not want to discuss the possibility. She acts like nothing happened and asked me not to bring it up again. What would you recommend in a situation like this? Should I say nothing and let it be, or risk ruining my marriage? -- VACILLATING IN VIRGINIA

DEAR VACILLATING: I find it interesting that someone would know you possibly had another son all this time and didn't say anything sooner. If it's true, the young man might like to know, if only so he can have a complete familial medical history.

I don't see how establishing the truth could "ruin" your marriage unless your wife is self-centered and immature. However, rather than suddenly appear out of nowhere with the news, it might be better to reach out to the woman you had the relationship with, tell her what the friend told you and ask her if it's true.

If she concealed the information from her son or from the man who raised him, possibly thinking the boy was his, it could be traumatic for everyone concerned. So, if you do decide to move forward on this, explain that if it's true, you think it might be in her son's best interests to know.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter, a widow, started going out with men she meets on dating websites last year. She has three children; the youngest is 10. She has a full-time job and doesn't smoke, drink or use drugs. She goes out five to seven times a week.

I have all the responsibility for the children's care, school, church, laundry, cooking, etc. I'm feeling very overburdened. While I don't mind doing all these things, I feel taken advantage of. Am I wrong or is it now normal for a mother to go out that much? When she's home, she's constantly checking her texts and social media. Please advise. -- USED IN TEXAS

DEAR USED: You are a caring, loving, responsible mother and grandmother. However, you are also an enabler. You are allowing yourself to be used.

Your daughter appears to be immature and centered entirely on herself. It is not "normal" for a mother to be out socializing as often as your daughter is. To ignore her children in favor of social media to the extent that you described is neglectful. You are entitled to a life of your own, so stop doing your daughter's job as much as you have been and start doing some things for yourself.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married for 30 years. Although my husband and I are both positive people, we have not had a happy marriage.

He leads the life of a bachelor, including sex with other women and unilateral decision-making. He's outgoing, generous and well-liked. I'm a homebody who often feels lonely and rejected.

Outsiders would be surprised at the true nature of our relationship. We have been to counseling, but it didn't help. Why do I stay in this marriage? What's wrong with me? Are there others like me? -- INCREDULOUS IN INDIANA

DEAR INCREDULOUS: You wouldn't have stayed married to your husband if you didn't derive some benefit from it. Because counseling didn't change the dynamic between you and your husband doesn't mean you shouldn't have some independently.

Your problem may be lack of self-esteem or fear of being alone, a problem shared by many women in dysfunctional marriages. If you're sincere about finding the answers to your questions, they await you in the office of a licensed therapist.

DEAR ABBY: My older sister recently passed away after a 22-year battle with lupus. She beat the odds for so long, and even gave us the miracle that is her son.

Logically, I understand that medically there was nothing left the doctors could do, but emotionally I feel like I killed her because I went along with the doctors. Is it normal to feel this guilt?

I have nightmares every night now because I hear her last words. I see how she was both on and off life support. When I make myself eat, I overeat. But honestly, I could easily go back to never eating like I did before. Is all of this normal for the grief process? -- FEELING GUILTY IN OREGON

DEAR FEELING GUILTY: Yes, what you're experiencing is normal -- to a degree. However, if the nightmares and feelings of guilt persist, discuss them with a grief counselor or a religious adviser.

You alluded to having "gone along with the doctors." If by that you mean you agreed that your sister should receive palliative care at the end, you did her a favor, not a disservice.

DEAR ABBY: I dated this woman for almost a year. It ended when she gave me an ultimatum: convert to her religion or walk. She is Pentecostal, and I am Catholic. We are both deeply rooted to our own churches.

A few months have gone by. She still has deep feelings for me, but I don't know if I feel the same way because of her ultimatum. One of us must convert or we won't be able to move forward. But there are big differences between the two religions. What should I do? -- CONVERTING IN THE SOUTH

DEAR CONVERTING: Because you are deeply rooted in your Catholicism and no longer sure you feel the same way about her, let her go so she can find a good Pentecostal husband. Religion is something a person must believe in, not switch to please someone else. There are plenty of fish in the sea for both of you, so keep fishing.

DEAR ABBY: My best friend of 40 years and her boyfriend live several states away from my husband and me. Every winter she and her friend expect to come to our home for a week. We simply can no longer do this.

Her friend is a nice guy, but after a few days we can hardly stand it. He talks constantly and knows everything about everything. How can I politely tell my friend that we can't accommodate them anymore without hurting her feelings and maybe ending our friendship? -- WEARY OUT WEST

DEAR WEARY: Try this. When your old friend mentions coming to visit, tell her you aren't up to having houseguests. If she asks why, and she probably will, say you're not as young as you used to be -- it's true. Neither am I. Tell her you can accommodate them for a weekend. If that doesn't work, say your husband isn't up for company. (Also true.) However, if neither excuse suffices, you may have to choose between telling your friend the truth and fibbing by saying you plan to be out of town.

DEAR ABBY: For mothers out there who wonder why their "wonderful" grown daughters don't have boyfriends, maybe it is because they are too dependent on YOU. No guy wants to be involved with a woman who calls or texts her mom multiple times a day (unless she is ill). No guy wants a girl who can't make a decision without consulting Mom, and he certainly doesn't want the intimate details of his relationship to be shared with you.

Men want confident women, not girls still tied to their mother's apron strings. If you want your daughter to find a man, stay out of her love life and teach her to make her own decisions! -- HATES MEDDLING MOTHERS

DEAR HATES: I have long advised young women how important it is to gain independence before becoming romantically involved with anyone. I agree that women who can stand on their own two feet are more appealing than those who are still dependent upon their parents. Your letter verifies the truth of what I have been saying.

DEAR ABBY: I recently received an invitation to a dear friend's grandson's 5th birthday party. In lieu of gifts, donations were requested to a choice of politically affiliated "charitable" organizations. I cannot, in good conscience, support any of them.

What's the appropriate course of action here? Must I give the child a gift anyway, or just stay away from the party? I really don't want to get into any political discussions with either the parents or the grandparents, and I think there would be hurt feelings if I don't show up. -- IN A BIND

DEAR IN A BIND: What a shame that a child's party was used as an excuse for a political fundraiser. I can't imagine any 5-year-old being "thrilled" to receive a political donation as a birthday gift.

However, because the child is the grandson of a "dear" friend, I do think a gift is in order. Make it something a 5-year-old will enjoy, have it delivered, and find an excuse not to attend if you feel it will devolve into something you prefer to avoid. Hurt feelings or not, you are not obligated to go to the party.