DEAR ABBY: I'm a man in my mid-30s. For the past couple of years I've been in love with my best friend. She doesn't know how I feel, and I know she doesn't feel the same way about me. (She calls me the brother she always wanted.) I try hard to fight these feelings so our friendship can continue. She has been a huge part of my life, so losing her friendship would be devastating.

To make matters more difficult, we are currently roommates and spend lots of time together. My heart breaks when she goes on dates or talks about guys she may be interested in. I know she'll never see me as more than a friend. Is there any way I can get over these feelings so we can continue this amazing friendship? -- FRIEND ZONE IN VERMONT

DEAR FRIEND ZONE: It might be easier to accomplish if you didn't live together, and I think you should tell her why. While it may end the fantasies you are nurturing, I see no reason for it to end your amazing friendship. Unless you are a masochist, please do not allow the status quo to continue because it isn't healthy for you.

DEAR ABBY: One of my neighbors invited me to go shopping for plants at a local nursery. We had gone there a few days before. I drove that time; she said she would drive this time. I enjoy her company and was happy to go again.

Well, we had to take two different highways to get there, and she drove between 40 and 45 miles an hour. Cars were passing us left and right going 65 or 70, and she couldn't understand why people honked at her. She seemed surprised when I informed her it was because she was driving so slow.

It was very scary, and I don't ever want to ride with her again. How can I tactfully let her know that from now on I'll do the driving? Also, can I suggest that she drive only on side streets? -- SCARED FOR MY LIFE

DEAR SCARED: You are right to be concerned for your neighbor's safety. Drivers like her cause accidents as people become frustrated and need to pass her.

Drivers are expected to observe the speed limits, and someone who drives at a crawl when the speed limit is 65 or 70 is breaking the law. If they are spotted by law enforcement, they can be ticketed for it. I know this because that is what happened to my grandmother when she was in her 80s. For both your sakes, please share this information with her.

DEAR ABBY: I was at an estate sale recently and saw a woman scratch the price off an item. I gave her "the death stare," but was there anything else I should have done? There were no staff around that I could see. -- UNETHICAL IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR UNETHICAL: Unless the woman was going to shoplift the item, she had to have given her money to someone on the premises. What you should have done was find someone who was staffing the sale and alerted him or her to what you observed.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I are talking marriage soon, and I'm already stressing over who will walk me down the aisle.

I always planned for it to be my dad, but he passed away a month ago. Mom remarried when I was young, but I have never had a close relationship with my stepdad. He mentioned years ago that he'd like to walk me down the aisle one day, but I honestly would rather he didn't. I don't want to hurt his feelings or strain our relationship, but I also don't want to feel like I am replacing Daddy, who I was very close with.

Is it taboo to walk down the aisle alone? Or must I just suck it up and walk with my stepdad for the sake of not hurting his feelings? -- MARRIAGE IN MINNEAPOLIS

DEAR MARRIAGE: Brides can (and should) walk down the aisle with the companion of their choice. When the bride's father is deceased, the escort can be her mother or a close male relative. I have also heard of brides escorted down the aisle by their canine companion, which proves that although they say a dog is man's best friend, it can also be a woman's.

You are not obligated to have anyone walk you to the altar because the person asks. If your stepfather repeats his request, tell him the truth -- that it would be too hurtful because it would feel like he was replacing your father, something no one can ever do. You should also know that these days some women feel being "given away" is an anachronistic custom, and make their way alone to join their groom at the altar.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and my mother had a good relationship before we were married. But since our wedding two years ago, he complains about her nonstop while pointing out ways that I am like her. My brothers feed into it too. They often have long conversations together detailing her "many" negative qualities.

Recently, while we were visiting my parents' home, Mom overheard my husband say very critical things about her. She got upset and kind of shut down emotionally and socially for the rest of the visit. We both apologized to her separately, but she said she was tired of being criticized and tired of him being mean to me as well.

I have a history of depression. My husband and I have tried counseling multiple times, with no progress because he feels our problems are "my responsibility." My husband is a good person, but it hurts me to see my mother upset and to have the two most important people in my life so at odds. Advice? -- TORN IN NEBRASKA

DEAR TORN: I'm glad to offer some, but first you will have to accept that "good" husbands don't act like yours does. If there are things he doesn't like about your mother, he should take them up with her directly, not behind her back the way he did. I don't blame her for feeling hurt. How else was she supposed to respond?

What your husband did was destructive, not helpful. The same is true for the way he treats you. Counseling hasn't worked because of his unwillingness to accept any responsibility for your problems as a couple. My advice is to talk to a licensed therapist on your own, which will help you to see your situation more clearly than you appear to do.

DEAR ABBY: My mother insists on telling my three youngest children that my husband is not their father. The oldest girl is the spitting image of him, and she's upset about it. Mom also calls me terrible names. She keeps saying it will add years to my life if I divorce him and makes appointments with divorce lawyers "for" me, which I am charged for. My husband and I have a limited income and can't move away because our jobs are here. How can I convince our kids my husband is their father? -- TRYING TO PROVE IT

DEAR TRYING: A way to do that would be to explain to your children that your mother has severe emotional problems and isn't in her right mind when she says those things. (From what you have written, it appears to be true.) You do not have to move away to distance yourself from this toxic, troubled woman. Stop communicating with her. Block her phone number, if you must, and do not allow her to have contact with any members of your family unless and until she regains her senses and apologizes to all of you.

DEAR ABBY: I belong to a women's golfing group. The mission of the club is to play golf and have fun. We have tournaments, prizes, and awards are given for the best scores.

The problem: Several of the ladies are "allergic" to counting their scores correctly. We have given them counting beads to help them "remember" their score. They have played with board members who asked them to count their scores out loud each time they hit the ball and to state their scores after the last putt. There have also been conversations with the golf pro about the importance of keeping accurate scores. Yet, the inaccurate counting persists and denial reigns. Members are upset because these ladies often "win" tournaments. What to do? -- PROUD OF MY HIGH HANDICAP

DEAR PROUD: You might be able to curb the cheating if you suggest club members swap scorecards and keep score for each other. However, if that doesn't do the trick, stop playing with those who cheat.

DEAR ABBY: Yesterday, I took my computer to an electronics store to be fixed. The tech who helped me had a ton of dirt under his nails. I was grossed out seeing him with those filthy nails type on my computer keys. Should I have said something to him or his supervisor? How can they allow someone with his hygiene problem to be in a position that requires contact with the public? -- GROSSED OUT IN OHIO

DEAR GROSSED OUT: A quiet word with the supervisor would have been the way to handle it. And while you were at the store, you could have asked for sanitary wipes to clean your keyboard. (They probably had some behind the counter.) Using a soft tissue dipped in alcohol once you returned home would also kill germs, as long as you're careful the tissue isn't so saturated that liquid drips beneath the keys.