DEAR ABBY: My daughter, "Roxanne," married right out of high school. Eleven years later she finally woke up and realized the man of her dreams was a deadbeat. She has now been divorced as long as she was married, still looking for a good man who will love her and share a future with her.
She's very sensitive, and I don't know how to tell her she needs to change her attitude about life in general, because no one wants to hear her recite all the bad things that have happened to her since childhood. She has always had a hard time letting go of small slights, from things that go on at work to as far back as school or sibling feuds.
Roxanne is a wonderful, beautiful woman, and my heart breaks to think of her spending the rest of her life alone. Her dad and I won't live forever. I'm afraid if I tell her how I feel, she'll no longer want to confide in me and talk out her problems. (I am her sounding board.) I don't mind listening so she can get it out of her system, but how do I get her to let it go and move forward? -- MOM WHO LOVES HER IN KENTUCKY
DEAR MOM: You mean well, but it may be time to cut back on being your daughter's sounding board, which seems more like a dumping ground. Tell her you love her, but that repeating her unresolved grievances is getting her nowhere. She needs to talk to a licensed professional. Urge her to discuss these painful things with a therapist who can put her on a path to putting them behind her.